Chaerin's POV

The days without seeing Sehun are hard and long. I feel like all of my energy is being drained from me, but maybe it is also related to my illness. The doctors say that it's getting worse. And I actually can only agree to that. My headaches get worse and occur more often, still I frequently sneak out, to watch the sky, to think, and to possibly meet Sehun. He hasn't come for more than a week now, which is weird, since he visits me whenever possible. Of course he told me that there's not always  time due to practice with his hyungs (EXO, I suppose), but I feel kinda betrayed anyway. What if he forgets about me? As soon as he debuts, there will be so many girls longing for him. So many pretty girls, girls that fit his looks, not like me at all. Not bound to the hospital. And more importantly, not lying to him about their identity. How can I expect him to keep watching over me? Just because he cares for his handicapped brother, doesn't mean he necessarily cares for me. Plus, he doesn't even know everything about me. Keeps thinking I'm Mirae...

I turn my gaze towards the sky again. I already played with the thought of telling him, but he might leave me then. I don't want him to leave my side. Apart my mom, he's the only person close to me, the only one caring. One week and I miss him badly. One week and I'm afraid I might not see him ever again. I fear the flow of time. Because time the only thing I can't afford to waste, for I don't have much left.

Sehun's POV             

I feel bad, like, really bad. For the past week, our schedules were packed as hell for our debut is nearing. But instead of worrying about it, I think of Mirae. Is she spending every day at the hospital, as usual, waiting for her sister? Watching over her? I want to keep her company, but I couldn't even be with Shin this week.

The members say I've miraculously improved my dance, and for once, there was nobody complaining about my performance. This set me into high spirits for about three days, until even that effect wore off and I am now back to my usual quiet self. Depressed maknae Sehun.

"Hunnie, what's up with you lately. Your mood changes a lot recently." Kai hyung has approached me from behind and places a hand on my shoulder.

"It's nothing. I was just happy because practice went well the past days." Kai hyung nods in approval, then ruffles my hair.

"You really did well, maknae!" He says, before taking his leave and minding his own business again. Doing well, huh? Another voice addresses me.

"It's a girl, right?" Luhan hyung chuckles beside me, focusing me with his deer eyes.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" He cracks up even more.

"Don't try to hide it, Hunnie, why else would you leave right after practice to a destination none of the members knows? Even though you really should tell us." I blush at the thought of Mirae. Was it okay to tell the hyungs? I mean, not like we're in a relationship, we're just friends. Shouldn't be that much of a big deal.

"Right. It's a girl. But we're not dating!" I admit, causing Luhan to raise an eyebrow.

"Really? She seems important to you." I shake my head.

"Not in that way."

"I'll believe you, but introduce me to her sometime. Make sure you do!" He means it, I can feel it. In moments like this I'm glad to have him as my hyung, he understands me the best out of the members, and he's very understanding. I sigh. If I could only see her today...

"Just go see her. I'll cover it up for you." My head spins around, I look at him in disbelief.

"You'd do that, hyung?" He nods.

"You did well the past days, so why not? I don't think you'd miss anything." He shrugs. "If you don't want to it's okay." No, I want!

"Not at all! Thanks hyung!" I hug him tightly, and Luhan pats my back.

"Such a big baby you are."

***

So this is how I ended up in front of the hospital once again. I hope she won't be mad at me, but I told her we need to practice hard, right? No way Mirae could be mad...

Even though I think that, as I stand in front of her door, slowly raising my arm to knock, I am unbelievably nervous.

"Come in!" Her high voice resounds, and I do as I was told. Something is different though. Mirae is lying in Chaerin's bed, her eyes half closed, she looks somehow sick. Right then she seems to notice, too.

"Oh, ahaha, I must've fallen asleep on her bed while I was waiting..." She laughs nervously. I get closer and sit down on the edge of the bed. With every inch nearer to her, my heart beats faster. A phenomena that used to occur whenever she was with me, and I don't dislike it at all.

"I wanted to bring you new flowers, but I couldn't do it on my way... sorry." In fact, some fans encountered me (which was quite shocking, we haven't even debuted yet!), so I had to avoid them and thus needed to take another route. She waves it aside.

"It's okay. Even though they're about to whiter, I think they are pretty." Saying those words, her gaze is far away.

"I'll get you new ones next time. It's a promise!" Mirae laughs, and it turns into a cough later on. Her condition makes me worry.

"Are you really alright?" She nods, trying to get over with the coughing.

"Yes, must've caught a cold. Stupid me going outside all the time."

"Then, should I leave you alone?" I ask, thinking it might be better for her.  Her negation is a bit too hasty.

"No! No, I mean - please don't." The desperation on her pretty face makes me stay, as well as everything else inside me that pulls me towards this girl.

"Okay. I'll stay." The both of us stay silent for a while, the room around us darkens with the sun setting, and soon I can hear Mirae's steady breathing. She's fallen asleep. I reach for one strand of her hair and her cheek. My fingers touching her skin send an electrifying sensation through my body. Why do I react like this towards her? In the end, maybe Luhan hyung is right. I might be actually falling for her. Watching her sleeping face, I decide it is time to leave. Before I do so, I leave a note on the table, just so she doesn't wonder why I left without saying goodbye. I'm about to step out when I turn around one last time. Mirae-ya, would you mind if I like you?

Chaerin's POV

"Uaaah" I exclaim as I stretch pleasurably, just to regret it a second later. An aching pain runs through my head, and I sink back into the pillows. How o'clock is it? Dim light shines through the curtains, so I figure it's either early morning or evening. A glance at the watch tells me that it's the first. I yawn, closing my eyes again, about to go travel back into dream world... Wait. I shot up again. Wasn't Sehun here before? The room around me is empty. Don't tell me - I spot the note on the table and get up to read it. My heart jumps happily in my chest when I notice that it is indeed left by Sehun.

Good morning, Mirae-ya! You went to sleep early yesterday, and you seemed so exhausted that I decided to leave without waking you. Don't be mad, okay? ^^ I'll come by eventually, bringing the tulips.

Reading this makes me even happier. I step out of the room by myself, just to walk around a bit as long as it's still possible, but I get caught immediately.

"Chaerin-ah, what are you doing out of your room so early? You should get some sleep." The doctor says, and I fake a smile.

"But it's so boring in there alone. Please, I just want to linger around a bit." He raises an eyebrow, examining me closely. He then sighs.

"All right, but be on time for your check-up." I beam.

"Of course I will!" Like this, I continue my stroll around the station. I didn't know yet that my good mood was about to get destroyed again.

***

"Chaerin-ah. I'm afraid there are bad news for you." The doctor looks at me through his glasses, a look of pity in his eyes. I hate that look they all give me. Do they think it actually helps me? I don't need their sympathy.

But what am I even complaining about. I don't need to let them do the usual tests, like checking my brain activity, heart rate and all that useless stuff in order to know that my body weakens. I painfully experience it every single day. That's why I manage to keep my expression blank when he tells me the fatal diagnosis.

"Unfortunately, it has grown again." I shudder, of course. The brain tumor that destroyed my life won't vanish that easily. I have to admit, it is partly my fault. Its location is critical, so an operation would be way too dangerous, and I surely am not prepared to risk it. Chemotherapy is something I strongly opposed, because I know the consequences of it, and I've lost a family member like that. My fear of ending up like her is too great. So over the past year the doctors tried anything else possible, with periods of time where some treatment seemed to work, and turned out to fail in the end. Even though they won't tell me, I know they are at a loss for the past month now. And I slowly seem to adapt to my situation. I am thinking about death more and more often. It's something that I could face any day now. One question keeps lingering around my mind: Why me?

"We'll do our best to help you, I want you to know that." The doctor pats my shoulder, a gesture to make me feel better, it has no effect on me. I leave without saying a thing. Just when entering the room, someone hugs me tightly, I can tell who it is from the small build.

"Mom." I say, no emotion in my voice left.

"Dear, my baby, how did it go?" I swallow hard. My mother is on the verge of crying, and telling her would only make it worse. But I should at least not lie to her. So I just shake my head, a small signal that tells her that it wouldn't be okay. A small 'oh' leaves her lips as we both sink onto the bed, and I rest my head on her lap, letting out all the fear and agony I've been holding in up until now. My body shakes uncontrolled, and my muffled cries wear off on her lap. I feel her hand caressing my hair, my back, consoling me quietly. My mother is truly the best comforter in the whole world. Eventually, I cry myself to sleep, where I don't have to worry about anything anymore. Nothing can take away my dreams.

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UPDATE~ :D So convenient to have this story finished already, I only need to upload now xD It's getting serious now. Don't hate on me D:

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