Will You Stay?       

It’d be all too easy for Lu Han to slip away.

He can’t sleep and Jongin sleeps deeply.

Lu Han turns slightly onto his side, admiring Jongin’s strong jawline in the moonlight, leaning over and pressing a ghost like kiss to the corner of the younger boy’s lips.

He needs Jongin, Lu Han reasons, in a different way from the way he needs Sehun.

Jongin provides laughter into Lu Han’s mundane life.

Jongin opens up the curtains, letting sunlight filter into the musty rooms that Lu Han’s mansion is made up of.

Jongin takes Lu Han out into a world that nobody else would let him.

We have to watch out for your condition, Master Lu Han. What if you get an attack?

But Jongin always grins. “You’re stronger than you think, Lu Han,” Jongin tells him every day as they walk hand in hand along the street, window shopping because Lu Han hasn’t been window shopping in years and Jongin just can’t let that happen.

Lu Han needs Sehun in the way that a parasite might need its host. Sehun is hopelessly in love with Lu Han and Lu Han knows this. He knows he has to stop it. That it’s just a crush leftover from their years of friendship. But Lu Han needs Sehun to need him. He needs Sehun to hold him and comfort him when he has one of his…episodes.

Much as Jongin is the shining beacon of hope that Lu Han needs to have, Sehun is the solid rock of support that Lu Han needs to lean on.

He’s such a needy, selfish man, who deserves nothing from either Jongin or Sehun. But he holds both their hearts.

Slowly, Lu Han untangles himself from the bed sheets and slips out of the room, casting one last look to make sure Jongin is as far gone as possible.

He walks barefoot along the hallway, wishing he had grabbed his robe before making his way over to the servants’ quarters.

He pads along until he gets to the back door, slipping out onto the front lawn. He pauses for a moment, breathing in the smell of wet earth. The storm has just passed and the wet grass tickles Lu Han’s feet as he makes his way to the stables. The old door creaks as he slides inside, the barn dimly lit by a covered gas lamp.

Lu Han bites his lip, wondering if he is really going to go through with this.

Jongin has been there with him for three months. And for three months, Lu Han has been happy.

But Sehun has been his best friend for years.

Steeling his resolve, Lu Han walks across the straw-covered floor, gently touching Sehun’s cheek to wake up the slumbering coachman.

Sehun’s eyes fly open, hand reaching for his pistol before realizing that it’s Lu Han.

“Lu Han,” he gasps, scrambling and sitting up. He reaches for a shirt, realizing just how indecent he looks wearing just a dirty white tank top and underwear.

Lu Han smiles slightly.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he murmurs. “I hope you don’t mind.”

Sehun shakes his head, carefully pulling Lu Han down onto his lap as though Lu Han is a precious porcelain doll that might shatter at any moment. Lu Han curls up into Sehun’s chest. It’s an arrangement they are both comfortable with.

“Nightmares again?” Sehun asks quietly, threading his fingers through Lu Han’s hair and smoothing out the unruly mane.

Lu Han nods.

“You and Jongin left me,” Lu Han murmurs, forcing his voice to be soft and pitiful. He tightens his grip on Sehun’s shirt. “I…I got scared that it was true so I had to make sure you were still here.”

Sehun’s eyes are dark, as his hand pauses, before tightening his grip again and burying his face in Lu Han’s shoulder.

“I’d never leave you,” he promises. “I’ll always be here, waiting for you, Lu Han.”

Jongin knows something is going on. But he keeps a smile for Lu Han anyway. The poor boy has had so much to go through. Epilepsy plus intense migraines has led Lu Han to a very sheltered life. His parents, wealthy and always out of the picture, worry about Lu Han from afar. They worry for their beyond intelligent son with the delicate head and the slender body. They worry he may break if he even steps foot outside.

Jongin is glad for Sehun on that front.

With Sehun around, Lu Han has had at least one friend before Jongin is hired as the personal assistant.

With Sehun, Lu Han was able to laugh at least a few times in his childhood, his loneliness and isolation forgotten.

But Jongin also knows that Sehun is a servant and Lu Han is the master. There is no way for the two of them to be truly happy. But Jongin can make Lu Han happy.

From day one, Jongin makes sure Lu Han knows what he, Jongin, can do for him, Lu Han. What lengths Jongin will go to, so that Lu Han’s happiness and bright smile will wash away all those sad memories and replace them with happy ones.

He takes Lu Han to places and distances Lu Han never knew he could go. He takes Lu Han running. He takes Lu Han dancing. He helps Lu Han discover his angelic voice and now Lu Han sings everywhere he goes.

But one day, Jongin takes Lu Han too far.

Lu Han, it seems, has a terrible fear of water. Not regular drinking water or even pond water. But vast expanses of raging, surging water sends Lu Han into a spiral of panic that even Jongin can’t shake him out of.

He has to call Sehun.

He has to watch the servant carefully pry open the ball that Lu Han curls into, shivering and quivering on the sand.

He has to watch Sehun cradle his Lu Han against his chest, whispering over and over again that Everything is going to be alright. You’re going to be alright. Shh, Lu Han, I’m here.

Sehun knows this is wrong.

But the kisses are hot and heady, filled with need and lust.

This is his master, his best friend from childhood. The lover and partner of another man. Yet Sehun can’t bear to let him go. The delicate form that molds itself into his chest, the big eyes that look up at him in that soul piercing way.

He is just as trapped as Jongin and Lu Han has the both of them wrapped around his little finger.

He knows Jongin knows.

He knows Lu Han knows Jongin knows.

But neither of them can do anything about it.

They are opposite ends of two different magnets, forcefully attracted to each other.

“We have to stop this,” Sehun tells Lu Han the fourth, fifth, sixth time Lu Han sneaks out of bed and into Sehun’s loft in the stables.

“You can’t keep doing this,” Sehun whispers to Lu Han as they lie on their backs, staring up at a barn ceiling that seems to stretch on forever.

“I have to stop loving you,” Sehun realizes after Lu Han has slipped back to Jongin’s side.

He hates having to pretend everything is okay. Hates having to pretend that there is nothing going on. Hates having to watch Jongin feeding Lu Han and the two of them holding hands as they skip down the flower lined pathway towards town while he feeds and waters and exercises the horses.

He hates the fact that he’s a mere servant and Jongin is Lu Han’s personal assistant. He hates having to be civil with Jongin.

Lu Han thinks Jongin is perfect.

Jongin only acts perfect to Lu Han.

Sehun sees the other side of Jongin.

The side that only wants to use Lu Han for the innocent boy’s money.

Jongin really doesn’t know Lu Han.

Anybody with half an eye would have been able to see that Lu Han is terrified of open ocean.

“I can’t let him go,” Lu Han tells Sehun through tear filled eyes. “I can’t let you go either.” Lu Han bites his lip. “So will you stay?”

Sehun pauses, staring down at Lu Han, his heart heavy.

Both of them already know what his answer is going to be.

“Yes, I will stay.”