January 1st, 2012

Dear Diary,

          It is sad to say that today he has torn out my heart. He has left me to fulfill his task as a man. I guess there are some good things out of this - he says he'll be more confident and he says he will marry me when he gets out of the army. I can't stop crying and although I know he isn't far away and I know he will be able to see me every once in a while I still can't bear to live a day, or a second without him. 

         The dimple faced leader has sent me to tears and yet I still have a feeling of content. Why? Why is it like this? Leeteuk... I miss you. I promise to keep my promise for as long as I live. Please be safe and don't forget I am always here, waiting for you.

 

«σпє đαч αĝо»

 

With hesitant lips and body motions a man of the age of 29, Park Jung-Soo, also known as Leeteuk, the leader of Super Junior, made his way up the three small steps to the stage. You could see him whipping his hands on his pants and adjusting his suit and tie. He was nervous which is unusual when it comes to Park Jung-Soo. He has been an MC for countless shows, preformed for countless countries and in front of millions of people. His darkest secrets sometimes relieved and yet he is nervous now?

 

He cleared his throat as he reached the podium and fixed the speech papers on the stand. He adjusted the mic and his lips, letting his eyes glaze over the people who were attending his press conference. The cameramen adjusted their cameras on him and waited for the first words to leave the singers mouth.

"I am Park Jung-Soo but my fans refer to me as Leeteuk, the special leader, the angel with out wings." You could hear the shakyness in his words as he spoke and yet there was such confidence that one wouldn't know he was nervous.

 

"I am entering the military, this you know. This is why I am here. I don't want to leave without a speech, without final words before I return two years later. I want you all to hear me out." A smile begin to form on the warm face, sending warm gestures to the audience and those who were watching.

 

 

"To my friends, my fans, and my family. This year has been a great one and I don't regret any of the time I have had spending it with all of you. Its time for me to be a man. It's time for me to take control and be apart of everything my country has to offer. I have served my fun and dedication to my job and now I will serve in the military and truly become one with my country."

 

"I'm not going to be another celebrity that gets out of going to the military; the main responsibility that our country. I am going to do what is right and I am going to make myself proud. "

 

"Elfs! Super Junior isn't over. Super Junior is forever. Wait for my return because I will return. Heechul and I both will return. Please don't give up. Continue to believe. Its you all that keep me going. Its every one that believes in me and Super Junior that keeps me going. Please don't give up on us."

 

"I love you all. I will take my leave tomorrow. Please stay healthy. Thank you. I love you all!"

 

Leeteuk stepped out from behind the podium and bowed deeply before standing and smiling one last time to the cameras that vowed to take the last shots of the unforgettable and admirable leader of Super Junior. You could see the tears form in his eyes yet they wouldn't fall. He had pride that he wasn't going to regret. He wanted this.

 

Leeteuk exited the stage and was soon greeted by warm arms. His girlfriend Jung-Mi stood there waiting to embrace her love. He wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her tightly.  They didn't mind the cameras that captured their movements. The two were too absorbed to even notice. 

 

Leeteuk whipped the tears off of her cheek before taking her hand and waving to the photographers and cameramen, leading him and his girlfriend out to his car. He opened the door for her, allowing Jung-Mi to get in. He shut the door behind her before walking around to the other side hopping in and the two drove off.

 

«з ңσυгѕ ιαтея»

 

Jung-Mi sat on Leeteuk's bed as he packed a few things in a suit case to take to the military. He couldn't take much but a pair of shoes, underwear, paper, personal belongings and whatever he felt he might need. Jung-Mi was sitting there watching him pack, doing her best to bite back any tears. She couldn't cry right now, he wasn't even gone. He was here now and she should be happy with the last few hours he is here. 

 

Leeteuk kept watching Jung-Mi out of the corner of his eye, waiting for her to break down just so he could go and comfort her once again. He zipped up his suit case and set it on the floor in front of his closet. He sat down in the spot where his suitcase sat and without any words, took ahold of Jung-Mi's shoulder and pulled her into his chest.

 

Unable to bear the tears any more, Jung-Mi began to ball her eyes out, clenching Leeteuk's shirt as if to keep him from leaving. Leeteuk wrapped his arms completely around Jung-Mi smiling a sad smile, yet  a some what happy one too. He did his best not to cry but he couldn't help but let out a few tears. 

 

The two stayed like this for a while, comforting one another and telling each other sweet and loving words to feel more at peace. 

 

"I'm still here... " Leeteuk said in the gentlest of words, "Please stop crying. Don't cry when I leave either. I want you to be happy. I'll come back here as a man. I'll have the confidence I need." He said Jung-Mi's hair just as softly as he left his words pass out his lips.

Leeteuk squeezed Jung-Mi tightly before kissing her on the forehead. She pulled back, whipping her eyes, letting Leeteuk help. He kissed her cheek and then her lips just as softly.

 

The two fixed their last dinner together and ate in the dark with candles lit. They smiled and laughed to one another. As the hours passed Jung-Mi's heart would seem to shrink more and more as if it was going to perish. 

 

"Tomorrow you are leaving for the airport... " Jung-Mi said slowly with a nod. Leeteuk nodded, "De... " He set his fork down on the table and standing up, taking his napkin from his lap and setting it on the table.

 

He walked over to Jung-Mi and leaned down, kissing her on the forehead again. He kneeled down on one knee, taking Jung-Mi by the hand. Jung-Mi's heart raced she could guess what was happening yet at the same time she didn't think this would happen, especially at a time like this!

 

Leeteuk reached in his pocket and pulled out a small blue velvet box and opened it up, "Jung-Mi.."

 

Jung-Mi covered as the tears began to form once again in her eyes. She tried to blink them away. "Jung-Mi, " Leeteuk smiled again, seeing the reaction on her innocent face, "Please marry me."

 

Jung-Mi couldn't find her voice so shook her head yes countless times before hopping out of her chair and tackling Leeteuk to the floor. She cried in his arms, this time happy tears. Leeteuk sat the two up, wrapping his arms once a gain around her waist, burying his face into her neck. "I do! I do! I will. I most defiantly will!" Jung-Mi kept saying uncontrollably. 

 

Leeteuk slowly pryed Jung-Mi off of him to take ahold of her hand and slide the ring onto her finger. It fit perfectly. It wasn't a big ring, it was simple. It had one set diamond stone while the band has seven tiny diamonds around it. Jung-Mi smile widened and held out her hand. Leeteuk intertwined his fingers with her out stretched hand and kissed her neck. It sent shivers down her back, but her smile remained.

 

Leeteuk then took ahold of Jung-Mi's legs and wrapped them around his waist, pulling her body in closer to his. Skillfully he stood up, holding her up with one arm under her bosom and the other under her shirt, caressing her waist. He locked lips with her, in a heated passion as he walked the two towards the bedroom they shared. He closed the door behind him with his foot and set Jung-Mi gently down on top of the bed.

 

He climbed on top of her, gently pressing his body down on top of hers, locking lips with hers again. She gladly kissed back, wrapping her legs around his waist once again, letting her hands slide up and down his arms before snaking themselves around his neck  pulling him further down on top of her. Leeteuk let his tongue enter , making the kiss even more heated and arousing the two even more.

 

Leeteuk pulled back, catching his breath and running the back of his hand against Jung-Mi's cheek. "I love you Jung-Mi."

Jung-Mi took ahold of Leeteuk's hand and kissed it softly. "I love you too."

 

«тне иеҳт đαү»

 

Leeteuk set his suit case down on the floor and turned around to Jung-Mi who was holding back her tears once again. It was seven in the morning the two had arrived at the airport were they would say their final goodbyes. Leeteuk put his hand on Jung-Mi's cheek before kissing her on the lips, "I love you, Jung-Mi." he said pulling her into a tight hug.

 

"I promise I will be back, so until then wait for me. Please wait to marry me." Leeteuk said in her ear softly. Jung-Mi nodded while sobbing quietly. Leeteuk pulled back and kissed her on the lips once again. He took ahold of her hand and squeezed it tightly. He picked up his suit case and gently let go of Jung-Mi's hand, leaving her side. Jung-Mi sobbed into her hands as soon as Leeteuk entered the airplane port. She squatted down in the middle of the airport, putting her hands over her face, crying uncontrollably. 

 

Eventually she was able to get herself together and walked over to the window of the airport. "Airplane 269 is now leaving the dock." The lady said over head.  "Leeteuk's plane.." 

 

Jung-Mi watched as the airplane started up and left the port, her heart ached as she watched it leave - he was gone, just like that.

 

«Іατея»

 

Jung-Mi closed her diary and sat up on her bed. It was eleven at night and she wasn't seeing herself getting any sleep here soon. How could she when the only person she's slept with for four years night after night was now not there? Jung-Mi's heart gripped tightly in her chest as she felt the side were he, her fiance, slept soundly next to her. She swallowed hard trying to be strong and stop the tears. 

 

Jung-Mi took ahold of Leeteuks pillow and smothered her face in it, taking in every little scent he left behind. She cuddled it tightly in her arms. "Please return home safely."

 

The words he had spoken to her the other night after they made love kept appearing in her head, 

"Stay faithful to me, I'll stay faithful to you. Love only me, and I'll love only you. Wait for me, and I'll wait for you. Jung-Mi, only think of me, only look for me, only look at me, don't look at any one else. If you do this, Jung-Mi... then marry me. As soon as I leave the army. Jung-Mi, only love me, only wait for me."

 

"Please come back soon."

 

«ғεω моитнѕ Іατея»

 

March  3rd, 2012

Dear Jung-Mi,

 

            How are you doing? I have finally found peace in sleeping without you. I dream of you every night. I remember every dream. They are all so precious to me, just like you. You are everything to me. I hope everything is fine back at home. How are my parents? I miss them very much. I hope my sister hasn't been bugging you too much about the marriage arrangement. I know how she can get with those type of things. 

 

           Can I tell you something? Even though I have been missing you to death I still feel at peace. You are hear with me, I can feel you. I only have this picture of us to keep me going and to remember your face with but I can't help but continue to feel greatfull with just the presence that you give to me. I miss you passionately ... Oh how I wish I could just hug you once more. 

 

            Jung-Mi I am waiting for you... please wait for me too!

 

Love and sincerely yours,

Park Jung-Soo

 

«5 моитнѕ Іατея»

August 17th, 2012

Dear Leeteuk,

                How are you eating? I know you must not get feed too much up there right? On that, how is your body doing? Are you staying healthy and strong? You don't know how much my heart aches missing you. Your sister and I have decided on were to hold the wedding. We want a beach wedding! Something simple and breezy. Yesung and a few of the other Super Junior members have offered to be the singers at our wedding. I agreed, I'm sure you wouldn't mind having your friends sing at your own wedding right? 

                 Leeteuk I love you with all of my heart and I miss your so deeply. Sometimes at night I think I feel you sleeping next to me, or hear you whisper in my ear that everything will be alright. You must keep your promise and hurry back home. I will wait for you for as long as I have to. You make me happy and I can't find any greater happiness then what you give to me. I got a new calendar and I am marking off all the days until you arrive back home were you belong. I will be waiting, Park Jung-Soo! 

                 Come home soon.

 

Love, always and forever,

Ahn Jung-Mi

 

«4 моитнѕ Іατея»

December 1st,  2012

Dear love,

                     Such great news! Remember my last letter when I told you I might not be able to see you on christmas? I found out they are letting us leave for a short three day break for christmas. When you get this letter I'll probably already be on my way home. I can't wait to see you, I don't know what to say. Please be there for me when I return! I love you. I'll see you soon.

Love,

Park Jung-Soo

 

«3 моитнѕ Іατея»

 

Now it has been fifteen months since Leeteuk has entered the military and the days become quicker and quicker. Jung-Mi went to her Super Junior calendar and marked off another day. She smile to herself before sitting down at her desk. She pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. She wrote down the date, March 7th, 2013 and began to write her next letter to Leeteuk. As she went to finish a loud explosive bang crashed outside, shaking the whole apartment. Jung-Mi jumped off of her chair and onto the floor, covering her head screaming in fear. 

 

The shaking stopped but from outside of Jung-Mi's window screams of horror escaped the people. Jung-Mi used the bed to help her stand on her feet as she walked over, cautiously to her window. Her eyes widened with shock as a huge mushroom of dark fire eroded a distance away. Many people down on the streets were injured and in pain. 

 

Jung-Mi rushed out of her bed room and into the living room. Many things in her small apartment had been crashed and thrown around from the shaking of the attack. She picked up her remote and the tv. 

 

"Just in, Japan airships have dropped a bomb in the middle of Seoul. The death toll is unknown at the moment, but as you can see here," A video of the bomb flying in and crashing before the camera zooms in and out of focus from the after math. When the camera come back to view you see a big puff of smoke raising up to the sky.

 

"Right now we aren't sure what will happen form here on. Many are fleeing Seoul many are staying inside or helping the wounded..."

The man continued to speak as Jung-Mi rushed to her phone to call her family to see if they were all alright. No one would answer their phones. Jung-Mi grabbed her jacket and left her apartment. She was going to see if her family was ok.

 

She eventually arrived to Leeteuk's parents house and entered the house. "Hello?" A little old lady quickly turned the corner before rushing over to Jung-Mi squeezing her tightly. "Oh my, thank the god that you are alright." This was Leeteuk's mother. She adore Jung-Mi just as much as Jung-Mi adored her. 

 

The two sat down in the living room around the tv and within two hours you could say the whole Park family and Ahn family had gathered together under the same roof watching the tv and discussing what was going on. 

 

"I had a feeling this was going to happen.  I just hoped it wouldn't be around the time I was still alive." Leeteuk's mom said as she watched the TV say it was a terriost attack. Japan and South Korea were allies and North Korea were their targets.

 

«тнε Іαѕт Іεттεя»

 

May 20th, 2013

 

Dear Jung-Mi,

                I will be coming home later then I should be. I know I was instructed to come home after two years of military training but they have called all trainees into fight the war as soon as possible. I'm sorry. But I will be invading japan here soon. Please don't forget me. I will return but I don't know when I'll be able to write you again. Jung-Mi, I am scared. Please don't ever forget me. I love you. I have kept my promises and I hope you have kept yours as well. I need you in my life, I miss you. Please, wait for me. I have to go get ready now. You're always here.. in my heart and my mind. I'll return to your arms soon. Wait for me.

 

Park Jung-Soo.

 

Jung-Mi cried countless nights and sometimes not getting any sleep at all when the last note he sent her was of him leaving for the war. Leeteuk's mother wasn't the happiest either, she would curse and go in rage wondering why they sent her untrained boy to war. Eventually the two found a bond to support each other and stop all the fussing and crying.

 

The war was getting to all of them, scaring all of them. They all didn't know what to do but cry, get angry or freak out. 

 

Jung-Mi laid down on the couch, seeing as that was the only bed she had in the small house of Mrs. Parks. She stared at the ceiling wondering when the war would end and when her fiance would come home. She got up off of the couch and kneeled before the couch, putting her hands in front of her face, praying. "Lord please bring Leeteuk safely home. I pray he will have the strength of a thousand men and stay  strong no matter what. Please keep him safe and strong. Amen."

 

It put her at some what peace, but not enough to keep her asleep. She tried to sleep but she couldn't. Insomnia was taking over and it wouldn't stop. The stress and constant worrying kept her awake for hours on end. It wasn't only her but every one in the house were still restless but no one would speak about it.

 

Three months had passed and the war between the two countries continued to go hay-wire. Many already trained soldiers were called out to help the war including some popular celebrities. Many fans weren't happy but they were men who needed to fight.

 

Jung-Mi sat on the couch dozing in and out while listening to the TV. The rest of the family were either upstairs or in the kitchen making dinner. Loud doors being slammed outside startled Jung-Mi, snapping her out of her doze. She sat up and looked through the window. It looked like a white car. She got up and headed towards the window, pushing the blinds open. It was a police car. Jung-Mi's heart raced inside her chest. 

"Jung-Mi?" Her mother asked from the kitchen, "Someone at the door?"

 

Jung-Mi turned around, wide eyed staring at her mother. Jung-Mi's mother dropped her things and rushed to the window to see what it was. Jung-Mi's mother turned around her eyes slowly filling with tears, covering and rushing back into the kitchen. "Police are here...!"

"You don't think?"

 

"That can't be. My Leeteuk is fine. They must be here for something else! Must be.."

 

Two loud knocks banged at the door. Jung-Mi stood there, hand on the door knob. She couldn't budge herself to open it.

 

BANG. BANG. BANG.

 

The knocks occurred again.

 

BANG. BANG. BANG.

 

"Mrs. Park! It's the police."

 

Jung-Mi let out a loud sigh and opened the door. Leeteuk's mother and Jung-Mi's mother crowded behind me.

 

 

"Are you Mrs. Park?"

 

"Ani, I'm Jung-Mi, Leeteuk's fiance." Jung-Mi said with shaky lips.

 

The police took off their hats and stared at Jung-Mi and then to the other two ladies behind me. 

 

"I'm sorry to say that Leeteuk-sshi was found shot dead in the battle field."

 

Jung-Mi went blank, her lips slightly a gap and her knees slightly shaking. She shook her head and slowly walked into the living room. She fell to the floor. "Ani..."

 

"This can't be..." Leeteuk's mother said quickly trying not to cry. "My son can't be dead! This can't be!"

 

"I'm sorry ma'am. He was MIA for a week but tropper Kim Heechul found Park Jung-Soo dead."

 

Leeteuk's mother began to cry uncontrollably. "Tell me this, tell me one thing. Please did he suffer?" 

 

The police officer looked to his partner then back and bowed his head, "It ... was a quick blow. I'm sorry ma'am."

 

The police left after that, the whole family gathered together. Some crying to no avail others sitting silent reminiscing in old memories trying to stay strong for those who can't. 

 

 

"Why... why?"

 

«α ωεεҝ Іαтεя»

 

 

"It is a sad day today as Leader Park Jung-Soo, also known as Leeteuk is put to rest at Seoul's cemetery at 3 this afternoon. His family and friends gathered around to give their last wishes. Even attending was Kim Heechul, the warrior who found Leeteuk shot dead. Heechul gave a speech to everyone that attended. 

 

Updates on what Super Junior plan on doing in the future is unknown. Will they disband because the main core that held them together is forever gone? OR will they continue to try to keep his memory alive? Today is a sad day in history and we won't be able to forget the smiling and loving leader."

 

Jung-Mi shut her TV off, she was now in her own apartment. After Leeteuk's death she has secluded herself from every one. 

 

'Here is the autopsy report. Park Jung-Soo, also known as Leeteuk, age 29. He died on august 2nd, 2013. He was shot square in the head before getting shot multiple times in the torso and two in his legs, even though he was already dead. The way the shot penetrated his head indicates the shooter put the gun to his head before killing him. In total there were seventeen shots found on Park Jung-Soo including the head wound. He was bleeding internally before he was killed and his arm was going to have to be amputated due to infection. He did suffer a bit before he died because of his battle wounds. The shot to his head was quick so therefore he felt no pain after wards. A trooper that stood by heard Park Jung-Soo's final words, 'Please. Don't. I'm Sorry Jung-Mi. Please. Please. Ple-' The autopsy was recorded august 15th, 2013 by doctor Soo Eun Seol.'

 

'Here, Jung-Mi, this is a letter I found on Leeteuk.. I'm sure he would want you to have it.'

 

Jung-Mi stared at the letter Heechul had handed her after the funeral. She was still in her funeral clothing, unable to undress her self, or even move. The blood on the paper was his, Leeteuks. Jung-Mi was emotionless, a walking corpse. She opened the envelope and pulled out the crisp clean paper.

 

August 1st,  2013

Dear Jung-Mi,

              I only haven't told you recently, I haven't written you recently but here is a letter I will send you tomorrow just so I know you are ok in Seoul. Jung-Mi,  I miss you. I love you. Please wait for me.

 

Park Jung-Soo.

 

The tears came pouring out of her eyes again. She wrapped her arms around her self as if feeling him there holding her again, telling her everything was going to be ok. But he wasn't there. He wasn't coming back either. Her heart clenched and wouldn't stop. She got up and began to knock things over, throwing glass around on the floor, break or kicking anything she came in contact with. She cried helplessly.

 

Knocks at her apartment door came loudly, her neighbors were calling in asking if everything was alright but she ignored them and continued on her rampage. She rushed into her bathroom and opened up a medicine cabinet pulling out any medicine she could and shoving pills down left and right. She tossed the empty bottles on the floor and went to her room and sat at her desk. She pulled out a pen and piece of paper and began to write quickly. 

 

August  17th, 2013

Dear Park Jung-Soo,

         How can I live by myself? How can I live forever waiting for you to return when you never will? How could you break a promise? How could you? How dare you ask me to marry you and not continue with it. How dare you make me love you. How dare you. Park Jung-soo... I love you to death. I can't live with out. I'm coming to you. Please don't be mad. I love you.

 

Always yours, 

Jung-Mi

 

Jung-Mi was becoming week and pain was becoming enormous. She crawled out of her chair and onto her bed. She cried silently, gripping at her Leeteuk's pillow and at her hair. The pills were tearing up her insides and causing her to feel such pain she's never felt before. 

 

She was pronounced dead before the police even got to her.

 

 

"This just in, the beautiful and sweet hearted conductor for Seoul Performance Arts College, Ahn Jung-Mi, was pronounced dead. It was said she committed suicide; she wrote a letter right before her death to her dead fiance, Park Jung-Soo. Could this be another case of Romeo and Juliet? May the two rest in peace."

 

 

Park Jung-Soo, Leeteuk, was laid to rest on August 17th, 2013.  His girlfriend and fiance, Ahn Jung-Mi was laid to rest next to him two days later, making the date August 20th, 2013.