Broken Promises

by: theninjaghost

I’ve been isolating myself at this room, specifically my room full of broken promises that he made for me. He really did break it, I can’t believe it, the man that I loved for so long broke his own promise. How could he do this do to me? I thought he will never leave me alone? But he did.

He, he is still in my heart, I don’t know, I’ve been wanting to forget him for my own sake, I know, he will never be back.

Crying for how many days, not eating any meals for how many days, being sick because of him, but I’m asking myself he deserves a thing from me

He told me that he will marry me whatever happens, he told me that I am the only woman for him, he will make children with me, take care of them and all, but what? He just broke it and left me alone.

I really don’t want to think it that way but it looks like. I don’t want to cry because of what just happened but I can’t help myself crying and isolating myself at my room. My family and friends are so damn worried about me they know what is happening to me, they are scared that I might follow him.

The thought of following him comes to my mind but I’m scare, I’m scared that he won’t talk to me nor face me, I’m too scared.

Then I heard a knock, “Open the door Dara!” she shouted, I did not open the door, I am just staring at my ceiling and realizing what just happened to us. Is it just the reality that I’m going to face? Or it’s just that he don’t want me to get hurt in future?

The door opened and as soon as she saw me lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling, she calls the driver “Mr. Lee! Ready the car now!!! We need to rush Dara to the hospital”

And now I decided to follow him by just drinking all the pills that I have when, all the pills that will make me suffer and die. It’s so sad to lose someone that you really loved but I guess it is sadder when you leave someone who loves you.

I slowly closed my eyes and hearing the fading voice of Bom, “Dara!! Please don’t leave us” that was the last thing I heard from my lovely sister, Bom.

“Bom! Want to come with us tomorrow?” I asked my sister, “Where?” she ask, I smiled at her and “Oh-no-no! Ya! Don’t make me a chaperon! Me and Seunghyun have a date tomorrow so I have to say no” she said, I giggled as soon as I saw her face so angry. “Why do you have to do that with your sister?” he asked me, “I was just teasing her” I answered back, looking at his eyes, there is something wrong, that I feel like I’ve done a mortal sin. “Hey is teasing her a bad thing?” I asked him.

He didn’t answer me, is his silence means yes? But why? Wait, why am I feeling this unwanted feeling towards my sister? Then I realized something… “Oh no… he… no” I said lowly.

But why? He said that I am the only woman? Then I asked him “do you like my sister?” it caught off him guard and “What are you saying? Babe, I only like and love you. It’s just that you’re her maknae and you like to ” he explained “Remember that I made a promise to you? I am always thinking about marrying you babe” he continued.

Then the day of our trip has come but the weather is not that good but still decided to go and have some fun. Then heavy rain started to pour, “Babe, it’s already zero visibility, I can’t even feel some cars we’re going you should take a break there” I said to him.

The car started to screech, Ji doesn’t have the control to car, I was crying out loud then he suddenly intertwined his hands to mine, and hugged me. “Ji, don’t leave me okay? You made a promise with me!” I said between my sobs, “I will babe…  I will” he said. He was hugging me so tight and “I love you Dara, please take care of yourself, I love you, remember that” he said.

I was struggling at his hugged to me because I want to face him and scolded him but I can’t, “Ya! Pabo-ya! I know! And I love you too, why are you saying that!?” I shouted. I can’t help it, I feel weak, all I can do is hugged him, cry at him, and think of what will happen to us now.

Then I heard a large crashed “Park Sandara, I will always be by your side, I love you” the last thing I heard from him, his hugged to me loosened up and “Don’t leave me...” the last word that I said.

I slowly opened my eyes and see my sister sleeping at the side with Seunghyun, she noticed me and “Dara! Are you okay now? What happened?” she said, “Where’s Ji Yong?” I said instead of answering her question, she then looked down and make a sad face on me, “Bom-ah! Where’s Ji Yong? Is he alright? Where is he!?” I hysterically said.

Tears is now falling to my cheeks, I was hysterically looking for my boyfriend, Kwon Ji Yong, but then “Dara…” she slowly said, “For goodness sake Bom! Tell me where is Ji Yong!” I shout, then I saw her crying and tells “Ji Yong is already….” “No… No! He promised me that we will get married… that he will make children with me…. No… no” I said, the word that I don’t want to hear “is already dead”

I slowly open my eyes and it’s like a déjà vu, I can see Bom sleeping at the side with Seunghyun, she then noticed me and “What happened?” I asked her, her tears slowly coming down to her cheeks and “Ya! Dara!” she shout mildly “Don’t ever do that again!” she said to me, “I was so damn worried about you!” she continued. “Mianhae… I just can’t get over with Ji Yong, I still love him that I made to the point to follow him” I said, “ya! It’s not your time yet! Don’t leave me!” she pouted like a little kid.

A week after I got hospital, I decided to visit him; I brought some flowers from him. As soon as I’ve entered the memorial park, I started to get nervous and I don’t know why. As soon as I arrived at his sepulcher, I started to cry, I still can’t accept the fact that he died on that day. It has to be our trip, we have to enjoy it but it turned out that it would be our last day to be with each other’s hand.

“Thank you” first words I said, my tears is forming onto my eyes

“I love you” my tears started to fall

“I still can’t accept the fact” I said between my sobs

“I know you don’t want me seeing like this now” I wiped my tears

“But you made a promise with me?” I buried my face to my hand

“Do I really need to let you go?” I touch is tomb stone

“Will you wait for me?” I bowed down and kiss it

“I will always remember that you love me and remember that I love you… always be”