A Normal Day at Chung Dam High School
Take Care
“There goes that little loser again.”
“Hey , whatcha doing here? I thought you finally learned that no one wants you here?”
Laughter, cheering and more laughter. Taemin winced inwardly at the insults.
It was not the first time he heard them, actually he even expected them. This was his daily routine for more than four years now.
“Why does he even come to school? I mean is there even anyone who likes him? I don't know anyone.”
“As far as I know he does not have a single friend.”
“How is that even possible? He must really be a freak.” The murmurs of the bystanders enveloped him as he walked through the hallway, his pace increasing just to get away from them.
But it wasn't that easy. Taemin had learned that by now. You couldn't just ignore the judging glances of people. Just as you couldn't run away from them.
The only thing you could do was endure it.
So he just continued his way to his locker and then to class, his head hanging as low as somehow possible and his hair falling over his eyes to somehow shelter himself. Just to not be seen.
In class, Taemin just sat in his seat in the last row near the door and looked at his notebook.
He tried to just concentrate on the lesson and fade out everything else. He definitely couldn't fail this class since his grades were rather poor in general and he didn't want to repeat the school year.
It was hard enough for his parents without him failing in school.
“You can do this Taeminnie. Just graduate from high school and you won't see these bullies ever again.” The words of his mother crossed his mind and brought a little smile to his face.
I just have to see things positively. If I work hard now I can leave this place soon. It's my last year after all. After all these years I'll manage that too.
A few hours passed like this in peace.
The moment the bell rang signaling the begin of lunch break the students shot up and hurried out of the classroom to the cafeteria.
Everyone except for Taemin.
He remained sitting, slowly packing his stuff. Just when he was about to grab his notebook someone snatched it away from him.
Taemin looked up to be greeted by a too familiar face. Kim Hyunshik, one of the bullies who was also in his class, grinned mischievously at him.
Before Taemin could take the notebook away from him Hyunshik took a step back and started flipping through the pages.
“Let's see what we got here...” His grin grew wider when he spotted the song texts Taemin used to memorize and practiced singing.
“Why do you carry these with you?” He waved the papers, “You think you can become an idol? With that face of yours?! You must be kidding me. I bet you can't even hit a single note.”
“That's none of your business,” Taemin replied coldly.
Hyunshik laughed and tossed the notebook in the trash bin. Then he walked to the door, hands in his pockets and a satisfied smile displaying on his face, before he turned around and said:
“You know, if I were you I would just kill myself. You may think all this will be over the moment high school ends but just look at you. You look more like a girl than a man and with your grades you're probably going to end up as a beggar on the streets. Your just a little loser and the only thing surprising about this is that your parents haven't abandoned you until now.”
With that Hyunshik walked off, leaving behind a mentally broken boy.
Taemin swallowed his rising tears and got out his notebook from the trash bin.
He opened the page with the song texts and his shoulders slumped in defeat.
He's right. I won't ever be able to live my dream. High school is not the only place where people will look at me as if I'm some kind of freak. I will always be the little boy with the girly looks. No matter what I do I'll never be good enough.
Taemin spend the break at his usual spot on a small staircase in a corner of the school which only lead to a box room for the costumes of the drama club. Most of the time this corner was empty and therefore the perfect hiding spot for him.
This was where Taemin spend the breaks, eating the lunch his mother made for him since he didn't dare to enter the cafeteria anymore. If he did, it would only lead to a big humiliation that was for sure. He knew others were talking about him but this way he at least didn't need to listen.
For the nth time, he sighed at the thought of the students in his school. All of them avoided him and that was all because of Hyunshik and his friends who were the popular kids in school. They had a lot of friends and connections and this way also much influence. If you were hated by them you were an outcast for the rest of your school life.
Taemin had experienced it himself often enough to know that there was no way to stop them. The teachers didn't really care. Even as his mother had come to school to complain about the way her son was treated, they had said they couldn't do much and that it was just ''typical teenager's squabble''.
“Why does this have to be so complicated. I just want a normal life, with friends and without being bullied. Is that really asking too much?” Of course he got no answer. So instead of going on talking to himself, Taemin put on his headphones and did what he loved the most – listening to music.
But his short moment of blissfulness came to an end when the bell rang again and forced him to go back to class or, as he called it, hell.
The moment Taemin entered the classroom, he knew this hour would be horrible. The teacher, Mr. Choi, belonged to the kind of teachers who liked to show an educational movie while he used the time to check tests or read a book.
And in Taemin's case, movies always meant torment.
At times like this, the class would not bother to pay attention to the movie but rather to him. Last time, they had made paper airplanes which they had used to throw at him and he feared what it was today.
It all started when he sat in his seat. Some girls started laughing and two boys high fived each other.
When the movie began and the light was turned off, Hyunshik turned around and called: “Hey loser, wanna play a game?” Some students snickered but Taemin just continued to look on his paper that he used to scribble when he didn't know what else to do.
Hyunshik grew angry when he noticed that his favorite victim ignored him instead of acting as planned. So he just changed his plan.
He took his eraser and threw it at Taemin who winced but stayed silent.
Well, he asked for it, Hyunshik thought when he signaled his friend to also throw something.
Soon the whole class enjoyed throwing different things from their pencil cases at the ''loser'' in the last row.
Eventually, Taemin had no choice but put his arms over his head to cover his face from the hard impacts of crayons, sharpeners and erasers. He laid his head down on the table, his arms over his head steadily thinking the two words that had become part of his everyday life:
Endure it, endure it, endure it.
When the lesson was over and the light was again, Mr. Choi noticed the chaos his class had created. “Who did this?”, he hollered.
Everyone blinked innocently as if they had nothing to do with all this.
Mr. Choi sighed exasperatedly and just told the students to clean up before they left. Everyone did as told and then hurried home.
School was over, at least for today, and Taemin felt nothing but tired. But what was even more tiring was the fact that tomorrow wouldn't be much different except for the new methods they would think of to harass him.
He was just about to close the door of his locker when he heard two girls talking. They were only a few feet away so it was easy to understand every word of their conversation.
“Have you heard of that incident from last period? This boy no one likes, they actually threw stuff at him.”
“I think it's his own fault. If he can't adapt to others he doesn't need to expect another treatment.”
This seemingly insignificant talk was it what eventually made Taemin's guard break down. He just couldn't take it any longer. The gossiping, the insults and the prejudices. All of it was just too much for him to handle.
What do they know?! They think I can't adapt to others, they think I didn't try to change in order to be accepted, they actually think I am nothing but ''the boy no one likes''?
What did I do wrong to be treated like this?What exactly is wrong with me that they all hate me so much? What?
He just couldn't restrain his tears anymore.
Everything that had happened this day replayed in his mind like a movie on rewind mode. It crushed him but it also made him remember what he told himself everyday: Just endure it!
It was a normal day at Chung Dam high school after all.
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