It was a cold, Tuesday night when I found myself standing outside the cheap coffee shop two blocks down from my old apartment.

My fingers dug deep into the warmth of my coat dangling with a loose thread; I lifted my heavy boots from the icy snow and ran towards him, my feet slightly sinking after each step.

“P-please. Please don’t go Jjong. I-I don’t know what I’d do without you” I confessed, my deep hazel eyes glaring into his icy ones.

Soon I found my fingers entangled with his, the cold evening breeze sending loose strands of hair flying around our faces. “You know I have to” he gulped, sadness but responsibility flushing through his light hazel eyes.

“No…. Tell SM you can handle a girlfriend and a career at the same time!” I argued, desperately trying to stop the overflowing river of tears from breaking through my weak eyelids; much to my humiliation I failed, sending a waterfall of warm, heart-felt tears down my cold cheeks, left to fall off the peak of my slender chin.

“I-I can’t, I've been working too hard on this debut. Im not going to have it all run down the drain for one silly mistake”

“SILLY MISTAKE?! Are you calling 3 years a ‘silly mistake’?” I yelled, pulling my body away from the warmth of his.

“No. you know that’s not what I meant” he continued, desperately trying to re-tangle my fingers with his, but flinched as I slapped them away.

“No- Just…, just go” I said as another barrage of thick tears started streaming down my red cheeks as I stood there, my cold eyes focused on snow-covered ground in front of my feet.

“Babe, please don’t be like this – you know it’s not my choice” he stated, trying to ease the odd combination of emotions taking over my body. “No Jonghyun, Im sick of your . Goodbye, I hope your career goes well for you” I painfully said before walking to the side of the road and signalling for a Taxi.

Before I knew it the taxi had pulled up affront my frail body and soon after I was behind the solidarity of my bedroom walls, sobbing into my pillows as the cold night slowly passed.

Thoughts of last night’s confrontation filled my mind. His warm, open-mouthed smile and the way his lips would dance around mine in the heat of one of our many passionate kisses would send an unwanted rush of regret, sorrow and pain through my heart, causing a few tear drops falling from underneath my short eyelashes during an office meeting or in the midst of a co-worker get-together.

Once the day was over I parked myself on my cheap fabric lounge and the tv.

I found a good- looking magazine from the pile that was messily stacked on my coffee table, perching my eyes on all the sales from three-weeks ago when the voice of an unfamiliar tv presenter caught my attention.

“Annyong! This is Kim Sohye here, and I am your host for this spectacular episode of tonight’s show. But first we have a live performance from SM entertainment’s new rookie group SHINee preforming their debut song ‘Replay’” My body froze as I saw Jonghyun’s body on my TV screen, he smiled towards the camera reminding me of all the times he had smiled at me with that same expression.

I was shocked and almost upset at how happy he looked, screaming his vocals with the perfect pitch

And preforming his dance steps perfectly in-sync with the other member’s. There was not a single cracked vocal or missed step; his whole performance was, like him- perfect.

I doubted myself on whether I made the right decision leaving him there, he was obviously very talented and a natural on stage, so why should I stop him from doing what he loved? So I guess he was right – why should a ‘silly mistake’ like me stand in his way.

I felt another wave of tears forming underneath my eyelids. My eyes were already puffy and sore from all the other droplets I allowed to break through earlier, but despite this I fought the pain and disgusting salty smell once Jonghyun’s concert ended and I spotted – for a split second, a look of utter pain and sorrow behind those hazel eyes as it felt like he was staring through the television screen and into my own sorrow filled pupils.

15 minutes had passed and through-out the whole painful period I had countlessly debated with myself on whether or not I should call him, even just to hear that angelic voice one last time. At one point I actually had my coat in my hand and was ready to catch a Taxi to his location when I decided to give up and succumb to the encumbering urge to close my eyes and fall into the ecstasy that is sleep when the sudden vibration in my side pocket caught my attention. I carefully slid the small phone from the cotton overlay of my sweat pants and read the message that was lighting up the screen.

(1) Unread SMS

From: Jonghyun

Sent: Wednesday, February 16th 19:13-

Listen, Im sorry about what I said last night, our relationship isn’t some ‘silly mistake’

I don’t know what I’d do without you. Babe I can’t talk right now, but as soon as I can I will call you. I worked things out with SM and they are allowing our relationship.

See-you soon.