Free..
"Does it hurt?"
(A/N: I'll use Teal for flashbacks :D)
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Standing in front of an off-white painted door, a
smile was then formed on his lips - he has now
arrived at his desired destination. He comes to the
same place everyday.. yet he doesn't complain at all. The place
is very special to him, and besides, he was never even
forced to come to the place. He goes there because he
wants to..... because he just has to. He's been going there
ever since he was in high school. He chuckled to himself slightly
as he thought sarcastically that he was now old, as he had
already graduated from college. He reached out his arm and just
when he was about to open the door, the door had suddenly opened
and a nurse came out. The nurse gave him a wry smile, and her eyes seemed
to be saying something else. "You can go in now." the nurse said
softly, he then gave her a smile before she left. He gripped onto
the silver doorknob and slowly turned it as he pushed the door open.
He was then greeted by the cold wind which played with his light brown hair,
tickling his eyes every now and then. The white curtains danced as the wind kept
coming in the room. He took big steps towards the windows and hastily closed
them. The room became quiet and warm. It has returned to its same,
peaceful state, like it has always been. He let out a long sigh and turned
around to see his precious loved one lying on the bed, sleeping peacefully.
Her pale face was perfectly relaxed, as well as her arms which rested
on the bed. She looked very beautiful indeed. It made him smile even
wider, as he was very happy to see her again. He came closer to her
and sat on a wooden chair beside her bed. He then held onto her
limp hand, bringing it closer to him and made it touch his warm cheek,
then brushed past his lips. He looked at her face again as another
sigh escaped from him. It was really interesting; past precious
memories kept running back in his mind whenever he looks
at her. It was like looking at a time capsule which displayed all the
moments he had spent with her throughout his life...
"Ouch!" the little boy exclaimed, feeling
a stinging sensation as the girl rubbed a piece
of cloth with medicine on the wounded skin on
his knee. "Endure the pain for a while. See, this is
what you get for always running around the place."
the girl scolded him with a worried tone in her
voice. "Sorry, Jinri.." the boy mumbled softly, but
she still heard it. She smiled after hearing his apology.
Fishing in her right pocket, she pulled out a small, brown
bandage and stuck it on his wound. "There!" she said happily,
which made the boy blush at her cute actions. "So Taemin, does
it still hurt?" she asked as she looked up at his startled face.
"N-not anymore, thanks again Jinri-ah.."
.....She'd get mad over these small wounds I'd have all the time. She worries a lot about me, so whenever she sees me with just a single scratch on my leg, she'll scold me and will immediately patch it up. Done. The wounds are healed with no time wasted.. It was normal for 8 year old kids like us to have wounds and scars, it's part of growing up. She knew that, but she just doesn't act like an 8 year old during those days. She didn't play around that often, and would just spend most of her childhood days healing my wounds. One of the reasons why I liked her in the first place... he says as he slowly puts down her hand.
"Omo, why are you crying Taemin?" She asked, her eyes
grew wider as she watched him with uncontrollable tears
that kept sliding down his cheeks. He looked sad, and hurt.
She felt a sudden pang of pain in her chest, just then, she
noticed how hurt she was feeling as well. She came closer
to him and wrapped her arms around him. "Umma.....Appa.."
he says as he continued sobbing. She hugged him even tighter
this time as he rubbed his back. Asking him to just let it all out.
And before she knew it, a tear had also escaped from her
eye. "Taemin-ah, everything's gonna be alright. I'm here. So
stop crying now." He wiped away his tears and broke the hug
as he looked at her. Her vision was blurred as it was full of tears
but she still managed to see his cheeky smile. He gave out a
weak laugh as he saw her face. "Now you're the one who's crying?
What's wrong? I should be the only one who's crying here." He then
wiped her tears using his thumb. She chuckled as she noticed how
much she has cried as well. "It's just- ah never mind." she says
as she looked up at the puzzled look on his face. "Just what?"
he asked, but she just shook her head, too embarrassed to
tell him why. "Does it still hurt?" she asked. "Not so much anymore.
I think I grew tired of crying about it now.." he responded. "Good then!"
she says. she was happy now.
....2 years later, I found out that mom and dad had split up. And they left me alone at home just like that. They didn't even say goodbye. There wasn't even a single note. I just started crying, sobbing in pain. I was thankful that she was there, comforting me. And back then, she didn't admit why she cried as well. I was still young to even know why she did cry. But now, I realized that she was hurting as well. Because I was hurting. I was amazed that she could heal even the biggest wounds I had. Even doctors can't help heal these kinds of wounds. Really, there's no other person like her..... he then rests his elbows on the bed, his chin on his palms as he stared at her sleeping face.. The smile on his face is now gone as he bit his lower lip.
....4 years flew by and I started to notice how you would always trip and fall down. I thought it was normal so I just laughed it all off. Days have passed and I noticed the scars and bruises on your legs. You got it from your falls. You said that it was just nothing and that I shouldn't be worried. A week later, I noticed how often you would fall down on your knees. At that very moment, I knew something was wrong. I would always carry you on my back but the funny thing was, you kept asking me, "Does it hurt? Your back must be hurting now." No matter how many times I'd tell you that I was fine, you still kept worrying. Then I realized how many times you've asked me that very same line all the time whenever I keep getting wounds. And at that time you were the one who had all the wounds and bruises, and yet you were still the one asking me that same line? You're so unbelievable..... He chuckled weakly, and began to close his eyes slowly.
.....Months came by and you were seriously getting weaker. Through exercises, you can stand up now, but you walked differently. When you spoke, I couldn't even tell what you were saying anymore. You already had troubles with your movements, and also affected the way you spoke. You know, I knew that you were hiding something from me at that time. I know that you knew why it was all happening to you. But you just couldn't win against me... You finally admitted to me what was happening all along. A deep sigh had escaped from his mouth..
.....You told me about having this degenerative disease. You also said that it was progressive. That as time passes, it gets even worse. On that last sentence, you broke down. You remember how much you cried?
After a year, I sent you to the hospital. With the help of some of my friends and your friends, I managed to make you stay at the hospital for quite a long time now. They gave you treatments and would always make you do these kinds of exercises to make you better. They were hurtful, weren't they? I knew it was hard for you to endure all the pain. It was for me too. I would go and visit you everyday after school, and I see you cry sometimes because it was hard, because it hurt.....
....I knew what was going to happen in the end anyway. It will happen anytime. That's why I was scared.... tears then started streaming down his cheeks, but still continued to speak..
...You know how special this place is for us, right? We've spent all of our time together here. Birthdays, Christmas, New Years... whatever the occasion, we would celebrate it here. Ah, the good memories. Do you still remember the day when I confessed to you? It also happened here in this place. I could remember how shy I was when I told you how much I liked you. But I became even happier when I found out that you liked me too. We were still very young back then.... he brought his arm closer to him and started to wipe his tears. His throat hurt as he was holding back his sobs.
The room remained quiet again. He couldn't continue
telling more, thinking that he would end up shedding lots
of tears again. But he still enjoyed it, replaying all the past
memories they had together in his mind. He then continued to look at her
face again. As he looked at her, he noticed a tear sliding down
her cheek. Then more tears started to stream down. He watched
her as she sobbed quietly. Slowly raising his hand, he caressed
her wet cheeks and suddenly, her face then lightened up with his
touch. With his thumb, he started to wipe away her tears...
"You listened to my words, didn't you?" he asked.
She opened her eyes and nodded weakly in response.
"So, you already know? The truth?" his voice was shaky
and cracked as he kept himself from shedding tears.
Again, she nodded her head.
Letting out a deep sigh, he continued to ask her questions.
"Tell me, does it hurt?"
She closed her eyes and nodded again.
"I guess that was my first time asking you that
question, huh? Your favorite line.." he chuckled
at his words, which also made her smile..
"What do you want to do now?" his voice still kept shaking.
She looked at him and whispered, saying "I want to go."
"Where do you want to go?" he asked.
She then raised her hand and pointed her index finger up.
"Are you ready now?" he asked her. This time, there were no
more tears. She smiled and nodded her head for the last time.
Raising her hand again, she slowly caressed his
face. He closed his eyes as he felt her warm touch.
"Don't worry.." he says, "You'll be going soon."
both stared into each others' eyes.. "I'm sorry, I couldn't do anything
for you..." he says, feeling all the guilt build up inside
of him.
...."You've already done so much for me, thank you." she whispers to him.
Her hand traveled to her chest, right where her heart is
placed as she looked intently into his eyes. Another smile
then greeted him. "I love you too.." he responded, as he
got up and understood her message.
For the last time that night, they both exchanged smiles
before he went out... He thanked and bid farewell to all the nurses
and the doctors that helped Jinri with her disease. He
sighed as he exited the hospital. He didn't cry anymore.
He knew that it'll just make him weaker. He finally understood
everything now. It made him happy.
....Jinri, do you know what the date is today? It's the 4th of January today. I hope you remember that.. You've done so well Jinri-ah, I'm happy for you, now that you're free. Can you believe that you've had that disease for over 10 years now? 10 years, you've been suffering in pain, but you'd still smile a lot. *sigh* You're crazy, don't you know that? You're right, it does hurt. But this time, I'm gonna be in charge of healing these wounds myself. I've learnt a lot from you anyway. I figured out how you were able to heal me during those days... I'll work hard and stay strong, just like you..
Shoving both hands in his pocket, he walked straight
back to his home..
Jinri died that morning. Her request was
fulfilled. It made him happier. Happy that she
doesn't have to live just to be in pain anymore.
He knew that she wanted to go.
January 4th holds a very special place
in their hearts. As he looks back,
it was the day when they first met. Coincidence
would probably be the first thing that popped in his
mind, but he didn't believe in it at all. It was no coincidence...
He smiled as he plopped his body on the bed and
shut his eyes.....waiting for sleep to come...
waiting for her to come along too.
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END! :D
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