Jiyeon

A Song as you read

It was an ordinary first day of school. The only difference is that this time, I'm in school with another side of me. As I introduced myself to my new classmates, I couldn't help but get nervous. Some of them even laughed at me, saying I was like dancing. Well, yeah, sort of.

I sat at the back and remained quiet. I caught that girl staring at me, the same girl who saw me crying outside the school gate. She's not just any girl actually. She's Bae Suzy. My cousin. I think I have a trauma to all of my cousins, they scare me with their intense eyes glaring at me (that reminds me of Shihoo).

Suzy looks like a pretty girl and a smart one. Well, unlike me, she's not screwed. I used to be a girl like her, someone who has a lot of friends. I think it's going to be completely different this time. Although I don't know about her, except the fact that she's my cousin because she said so and she's going to be living with me and harabeoji (a disaster), I somehow wished that we'd be close friends or close cousins so I wouldn't be frightened of her anymore.

I haven't told her about that although I wanted to. But I did approach her, without words. I haven't even said anything yet she still disapproved my presence.

"I'll see you when we get home. I still have to go with my friends. So, don't get near me for now. Okay?" She smiled sarcastically and I hate that kind of smile, only mean girls does that. "Toddles!"

"Sigh. Whatever. I can go have lunch alone." I said to myself, slightly disappointed since I was used to eating lunch with a bunch of friends and a loving boyfriend.

"Who was that?" I heard Suzy's friend, who was wearing a cheerleader costume with her surname 'Lee' printed behind her shirt, said.

"No one. Just a stupid nerd who wants to befriend me. In her dreams." Suzy replied and grabbed the wrist of her friend as they went away farther from me.

"Nerd?" I mumbled and rolled my eyes. Then again I remembered how I look like right now. I look like a nerd. I hurried to the comfort room and stared at myself in the mirror. No make-up, dark short hair with bangs like Dora the Explorer and real eyeglasses. Wow. I realized my long hair is already gone. I realized that I regret it after all. This was all just too sudden. I was too scared that it made me do something I never wanted to. I can't believe this. 

I made up my mind not to take my lunch and skip the rest of the subjects. I wasn't ready yet. I wasn't ready to have a new life like this. I'm all by myself while my parents and sisters are searching everywhere for me. I don't even have any idea if they gave up or continued. I have no idea if they're okay, or if one of them is sick. I could only ponder relentlessly.

I stood by the bus stop and stick around. Half an hour had passed, not even one bus stopped. How mean. This country needs population. They need more people. Honestly, I can only see myself alone right there, standing and waiting in vain with an emotio