“I feel cold,” I mutter, snuggling close to him. The arm around my waist immediately tightens, pulling me even closer. I can feel his warm breath on my forehead and his lips grazing my skin. It feels soothing, almost too comfortable, contrasting the bout of unease that has been troubling me for days. I start to play on the loose thread that dangles from the hem of his worn-out white cardigan and sigh.

“What’s wrong?” He asks gently. His eyes flicks from the empty space he had been absentmindedly concentrating on to me and moves his free hand to softly caress my face.

“Everything is about to change and I can feel it in the air already. My family has been harping on me for days to start packing and my friends are bugging me to meet up with them before I go. My schedule is completely filled next week - it’s like the whole world wants me to move with them, except for me,” I pout.

“You need to move, or university life in New York will be too fast for you once it is set into motion, “ he urges slightly, patient at my immaturity.

“It’s not just that… I feel like my relationship with others is changing too. I feel distanced from everyone and it never used to be like that. I don’t know what is going on,” I sigh exasperatedly, “I feel so unbalanced and off.”

He gives me a small kiss on the forehead and says, “At least you don’t feel distanced from me. You should be happy about that”

“Yah,” I glare at him and pull away, “You’re not helping.”

“I’m kidding,” he smiles, taking my hand, “But in all seriousness, I think going to university is the perfect thing for you right now. You need some new experiences and get away from all this. When you come back, you’ll look at things differently and maybe things will feel right.”

I nod slowly, contemplating his words. Perhaps he is right – distancing myself from what I know physically will give me time to reevaluate, reflect and forget. Time will make things right. I smile a bit to myself and turn to him, “What about you? Will your time away help?”

“Maybe,” he replies with uncertainty, “maybe things will feel right for me too after two years of rest”

“They will,” I say confidently. I reach out to fix his bangs, letting my hand fall slowly, tracing his face and then his perfect jawline. I look into his eyes and thinks, this man has gone through so much and he deserves to feel right.

“What?” he asks curiously.

“Promise me something,” I reply and he nods. “I know two years can change a lot, but can you promise me that no matter how you change, you mustn’t make me a stranger? I don’t care what happens… I just know that if I’m not accessible to you there,” I place my hand on his chest, right above his heart, “Then I can’t love you anymore. I won’t know how to.”

His eyes redden slightly as he nods, swallowing hard. “I promise”

“Thanks,” I say, tears forming in my eyes, “I’m just so afraid that I won’t recognize you, because of how much you’ll change.”

He shakes his head and puts his hand behind my neck, pulling me in for a kiss. I can feel the familiar butterflies in my stomach, as I hold onto his toned arms. He smiles as he gently nips at my lower lip, it with his tongue. I respond by opening my mouth slightly, letting him in. With my hand tangled in his hair, my back suddenly on the sofa and him above me, I want the moment to last forever. We kiss until I have to pull away to catch my breath.

“No matter how much I change, I’ll still be your Park Jungsoo,” he smile down at me while tucking a strand of stray hair behind my ear with his finger.

I smile brightly for the first time that evening and the uneasiness seems to wash away a little bit. As long as I know things will be the same with him, I don’t care whatever changes in my life. If what we have now is permanent, I will have the courage to adapt to every change that will come my way, no matter how difficult. I lift my head and give him a gentle kiss.

“I love you so much,” he whispers against my lips. “And I’m going to miss you so, so much”

“Me too,” I whisper back.

“Do you want me to stay the night? I don’t think I can leave now that I am here.”

“Please,” I reply, desperate to have him here with me longer.

He smiles and leans down to kiss me again.