It is raining outside. The window is foggy, painted with even streaks of water and the sky, as a backdrop, looked melancholy. I can hear people sloshing past, their umbrellas crashing into each other, and the ever-soothing pitter-patter of rain.

 

The air is warm inside and I snuggled cozily in the car seat with Leeteuk’s jacket around me. I smiled as I felt his hand on mine.

 

It has been two years since I first met him and everything from then on felt like nothing short of a miracle. After all, he is an idol and I am a second-year university student. It was difficult to imagine how we got together – how we clicked even – due to our supposedly tremendous of eleven years. Honestly, I didn’t mind, but the others did. Oh, how they minded…

 

I turned to him and said, “I’m glad I met you,”

 

He focused on the road and smiled, his dimple appearing on the right side of his mouth, “Of course you are, pabo.” He patted my head affectionately.

 

--

 

Two years ago,

 

I, barely a high-school graduate, had been offered an internship opportunity at a known PR company. Throughout the entire summer, I had followed my mentor around while she planned a huge music festival for foreign artists. Fortunately, or unfortunately – it depends which aspect one is talking about -, they somehow lacked a translator for the Korean artists. Since I happen to know Korean, my mentor decided to put me as the translator instead of hiring a professional one. I agreed, happy to be helpful, but she neglected to tell me that I would be on stage, in the spotlight, until that very day. Needless to say, I was nervous.

 

“Wait, what? Can you please repeat that?” I was panicking – panicking so much that I can feel my hands shaking whilst I wrote rapidly into my tattered leather-bound notebook. I looked at the producer with a desperate flicker in my eyes and I swear, at the moment, I must’ve looked absolutely terrified.

 

He signed impatiently. He was a busy man, one who had little time for scared, inexperienced little girls as I. He opened his mouth to repeat his instructions before a man with a familiar face politely cut him off.

 

“Let me help her, PD-shii”, he said with a sincere smile, putting a reassuring hand on the producer’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, I heard what you told her”.

 

I looked at him in surprise as the producer nodded gratefully and rushed off to deal with the troubles of another artist. Who is this? Why does he looks so familiar? I asked myself, dazed. I sifted through my memory before I finally realize he was Leeteuk – the leader of Super Junior, the man I was supposed to translate for tonight. As a look of recognition crossed my face, he grinned slightly, his dimple flashing.

 

“Hi, I’m Leeteuk.”

 

“I-I know” I giggled nervously.

 

He smiled. “What’s your name? I heard you will be my translator for the evening.”

 

“Elle.”

 

“Elle? Great, well let me help you with the instructions,” He gently took the pen and notebook from my hands and scribbled, in neat handwriting, the instructions that the PD had meant to tell me. His clear was contrasting to the messy chicken scratch that filled the above blue lines – it was the perfect illustration of how he felt and how I felt at that moment.

 

“Thanks so much,” I immediately said, giving him an appreciative bow. It was all that I could do after all. I was sent there to help out with the entire operation and yet I am troubling him.

 

“Don’t be so worried, Elle-shii. Just ask me when you are unfamiliar with something; I won’t blame you for your ignorance”

 

He was smiling again – and I suddenly felt more assured. There was something about him that instantly made me feel safe. He felt very dependable and it was refreshing, especially after experiencing a whole evening of confusion.

 

“Anyways, I have other things to tend to, so just find me at the Super Junior room – there will be a sign on the door – if you need anything,”

 

With that, he patted me slightly on my back and left to rehearse on stage. I was a bit moved by his helpfulness. After all, he had a lot of responsibilities tonight, being both the MC and a partaking performer in the concert – he didn’t have to go out of his way to help me.

 

“Did you just interact with Leeteuk?” a female staff just slightly older than me asked excitedly. I knew her since we were interning for the same company.

 

I nodded, as I began reading my instructions.

 

“He was so nice to you!!!” she squealed.

 

This girl won’t be sleeping tonight, I thought. She was like a bunny on red bull, yapping at artists at every chance.

 

“I guess so,” I said thoughtfully, “I better thank him once more at the end of tonight.”

 

“You should have seen the way he looked at you; he didn’t even look at me like that!” She feigned huffing and pushed me.

 

I laughed and shook my head helplessly. She was obviously thinking too much.

 

--

 

The spotlight blinded my vision as I carefully stepped on stage with my silver wedge heels while holding a microphone on one hand and cue cards on the other. I could hear my heart beating loudly against my chest and suddenly, I felt weak. I wobbled slightly and immediately, Leeteuk was by my side, holding onto my arm as we walked to our designated spot on stage.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly. He looked at me for an answer, and I nodded, catching my breath. He had an amiable look on his face and I immediately plastered a bright smile on mine as I felt a few thousand pair of eyes on us.

 

The music came on and I saw a producer wave his arms – Leeteuk’s cue to start.

 

He began to speak, his bright voice echoing across the arena and I tried to focus and make sense of his words. He was radiant, confident and composed – how is he so good at this? I, on the other hand, tried very hard to keep my hands from shaking with nervousness.

 

When he was done, he turned to me and I began my translation. My voice, too, echoed and it sounded a bit foreign to me. Sure, I had heard my own voice before – I went to karaoke! – but this was so much more different. I realized my voice was slightly deeper than I thought it was and that it sounded rather soothing.

 

While a rookie group was performing, Leeteuk looked over at me and complimented, “You look very pretty like this”. I knew he realized how different I looked, as he had looked surprised when he saw me backstage with my white chiffon evening dress. I had light makeup on and my hair professionally-done in a wavy, side-ponytail. It was an appropriate attire for a translator – classy, yet not overly catchy.

 

I blushed and mumbled thanks.

 

He chuckled a bit and I felt my face heat up even more as I saw that he was staring, crinkled-eye, at me when I side-peeked at him.

 

“You look very handsome as well,” I returned uselessly, but it was the truth. He looked dashing in his simple, black suit that was made special with sparkling skull-shaped studs. His hair was curled slightly, which made his bangs wavy in a good way. He didn’t have a lot of makeup on, but was as good-looking as ever.

 

He smiled slightly as he focused on his cue cards. He had been doing this often during the breaks – reading his lines over and over. He seemed so different from his on-screen persona, which exuded enthusiasm and humor. As a MC, he was much more composed and in person, much more quiet and professional. I somehow had expected him to chat with me more, but he didn’t. Usually, this would bother me since I hated it when things are awkward, but with him, this silence is comfortable.

 

“Do you want me to rehearse with you?” I asked in a whispered voice.

 

He looked at me and I realized I was perhaps a bit too forward with my request, so I quickly explained, “uh – I guess it would help to make things more interesting if you weren’t that restricted to the script, so if we rehearsed, you could say something funny and I wouldn’t be caught off guard… wait, I didn’t mean you weren’t funny, but the script… okay sorry, I -”

 

He grabbed my arm to stop me and I realized he looked amused. I mentally reprimanded myself for being so stupid and quickly focused on my script to avoid further embarrassment. I just wanted to make conversation and these things come out of my mouth. Great, I thought. Just great.

 

“Well, I was thinking… I actually wanted to say this here,” he finally whispered, pointing his finger to a designated line. I nodded, glad that he agreed to rehearse, but it was difficult for me to look at him for the rest of the night..

 

--

 

“Good job!!” The members of Super Junior raised both of their hands, so I could high-five all of them upon stepping into backstage. I hadn’t expected such a treatment, so I blushed as I timidly did as they bid. They laughed heartily in response.

 

The backstage crew immediately whisked me away to take off my equipment while a producer, the same one that had instructed me, approached me with a satisfied grin.

 

“You did well,” he said in a friendly tone, “Translate for us again next time; the audience seems to like you.” He gave me his name card and circled his phone number with a pen.

 

“Thank you very much, I will,” I replied graciously as I bowed to him.

 

I didn’t expect this at all – I thought I only did okay. In fact, the night ended up so much better than I had expected. It was a bit rough at the start and Leeteuk had to cover for me a few times, but as I grew accustomed to his rhythm, I felt more comfortable and at ease. It also helped that Leeteuk was skillfully controlling the entire situation the whole time.

 

Nevertheless, everything felt so anti-climatic as I slowly went into the changing room to pack my things and leave. The emptiness that comes after something so exciting and exhilarating was difficult to deal with – tomorrow, I would be normal Elle again. Elle, who would run around and do errands for her superior; Elle, who would receive no special attention from idols and producers and the audience.

 

It was gnawing at me, but I wasn’t able to realize at the time, that I was upset also because I knew I wasn’t going to see Leeteuk again.

 

Suddenly, I heard someone cough softly behind me and I turned around, surprised. It was Leeteuk, leaning against the wall with a black bag slung over his shoulder. He had changed into his casual clothes – a simple white tee with jeans.

 

“Oh, Leeteuk-shii!” I bowed to him.

 

“You did well today.”

 

“I owe it all to you… You led me throughout the whole thing,”

 

He nodded modestly and eyed my one-shoulder bag, “Are you heading home?”

 

“Yeah, there’s nothing left for me to do here”

 

He stared at me for a bit and walked towards me, asking, “Why don’t you come celebrate with us? We tend to celebrate after performances overseas. You can recommend some good restaurants for us, although it needs to be Korean. Eunhyuk can only eat Korean food”

 

“Would that be too intrusive? I mean – I don’t even know…” I hated myself for objecting, because I so wanted him to take me to a dinner celebration with them. My heart was beating so fast and I knew I was blushing.

 

“It would be rude of me not to invite you,” he laughed, “The members have expressed so much interest in you that they would kill me if they knew I had the chance to invite you and didn’t”

 

I laughed as well. “I find that a little hard to believe.”

 

He smiled knowingly to himself. Wait, did he really mean that?

 

“Are – are you guys leaving tomorrow?”

 

“First thing in the morning.”

 

That was a carpe diem moment for me. It was either that or return home to my parents and my laptop. I would regret for life if I had chosen the latter.

 

“So are you coming?”

 

I nodded, following him down the hallway. He turned around slightly to look at me, his dimple appearing quickly and then, disappearing. At that moment, my heart fluttered and before I could control myself, I caught up with him and grabbed the hem of his shirt. I didn’t know why I did it, but it just felt right.

 

He looked at me with widened eyes, but made no move to stop me. Slowly, he brought his hand up to my hand and patted me, as if I was a puppy. His hand was warm and big and I smiled at his touch.

 

--

 

“I still can’t believe you liked me since then; I was so stupid!” I am laughing at how awkward I was at the time.

 

He feigned a pout and explained, “It was cute!”

 

I grinned and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. I snuggled against him and muttered into his arm, “Well, I’m glad you did, because… you’re the best thing that happened to me. It was so difficult, but it was worth it.”

 

I didn’t see his face, but felt a kiss on my head.

 

“You came to Korea for me – how can I ask for anyone more deserving of my love?”