I have made a choice, and I'm sticking with it. Even if I lose all my friends, even if my family hates me, I'll stick with my decision.

   My parents think I've made a mistake in choosing my way of living like this, in my decision of the person whom I love, but I know better.

    They are not the one who will judge me, and thus I shall fear nothing. Loving is not a sin, no matter what gender and to who. No matter the status, the person's appearance, their background, nothing of that sort matters. Only one thing will keep a relationship lasting, and will keep it as beautiful as it was before.

   And that very thing is love. Maybe you haven't discovered your other half, but I have, and I won't let him slip away. Not even if my parents are against it. I'm not rebelling by choice, I'm siding with love. I'm not abandoning them...they are abandoning me.

   They had once told me I wasn't a very good child, and they regretted raising me. They always compare me to my sister. Let me ask you one thing, what have I done wrong? Nothing, as far as I can tell.

    I'm not my sister, either. We're two complete opposite beings and that's that. But of course, my parents always drag her into the conversation. I'm not her, so why should I be her?

   It's as if my parents want a clone, the same exact girl my sister is. We contrast each other though, she was the bright, white colour, while I was the dark shadows. Though the white would've been more radiant, the shadows are a necessary requirement to make the picture realistic. And besides, I'm worldly different from my sister. I just can't understand how she can always say "yes" to my parents with every ridiculous request they have.

   There, another thing that differs us. She said yes, and I said no to my parents. She was the model student I never was and got her college diploma, I was a drop out. She's a high class lawyer, I'm working for minimal wages. Maybe if I had listened to my parents, I would have provided a better future for myself, but then I wouldn't have met him.

   He's twelve years older than I am, and that's the only thing that my parents had disliked about him. He's a doctor, the third son of a rich corporate owner, and has a Ph.D. Rich, handsome, and successful...but the is too wide, my parents had said.

   They had once made me stay at home and let my sister attend my date for me. They locked me in my room for me to cry my eyes out, and there, they had let my sister go out in some of the most revealing clothes I had ever seen and try to seduce the man I love.

   My sister was kind when we were little, but the power had gotten to her head. She likes my boyfriend, and tried to interfere with my relationship countless of times. At first my parents were okay with the relationship, but then, with my sister's naggings or so called advice, found faults in things that they had never seen before.

   But luckily, the man I loved, loved me back. My sister was everything I wasn't, I told you that before, correct? She was pretty, I was average. She was successful, I won't make as much as she does in a year, even if I tried saving up for my entire life. She was intelligent, and I was as smart as the next person. She was sweet - or used to be sweet, and I was blunt and tough. Yet he stuck with me until the end.

   My quest in love did not end there, my sister continued to be a prick, my parents continued to shun me, my friends - who am I kidding, I don't have friends.

   I don't have any one close to me except for him, and he will always be with me, and it'll stay like that.

   After going through the trials my sister placed upon us, my boyfriend gathered the nerves to propose. I said "yes" without any doubt that our relationship will come tumbling down one day.

   But, in Korea, our relationship was not approved of. Not the , for that was actually quite common, but the fact that I'm a guy and he's a guy greatly influenced society's view on us.

   We kept our marriage a secret, but it was official. Lee Joon was now my husband, and I, his. I already had a difficult time handling my sister, and I certainly never wanted my neighbors or other annoying Korean citizens to poke into my business.

   Joon, however, had thought otherwise. He said it was fine, and that none of those people had any right to interfere with us. Still, I was not comforted by his sweet words.

   I remember once, we were just laying in bed talking, I had brought up the subject of Joon dating my sister secretly behind my back. I mean, who wouldn't, she was everything I was not.

   "Mir, you know better than that." He had said curtly. Lee Joon was never the man of many words and was never good at displaying his emotions.

   "But, why wouldn't you?" I had insisted.

   He sighed, ruffling my hair, "Why, you ask? Why? Because I have you, and that's all I'll ever need." Though that line was very sweet, Joon's tone of voice did not complement his words.

   "I may be that, but what about all you ever wanted?" I pressed on, determined on the fact that he loved Eun Ah.

   "That would be you." A short, subtle reply was all I received. Joon got up and grabbed a changed of clothes from their closet and went to the bathroom. The door slammed shut louder then intended, and deepened my suspicion.

   I spent the thirty minutes while Joon was in the bathroom, crying. "He does love her, he loves her more than me. I can't believe it."

   I immediately stopped sniffing as soon as the water turned off. I dabbed my eyes, hoping they weren't swollen or red.

   The door of the bathroom swung open and Joon stepped out, fully clothed with dripping wet hair.

   "Did you hear weird sounds? I heard something while I was in the shower." Joon asked, I shook my head, already knowing it was me who he heard.

   "Would you like something to eat, then?" He tried again, I didn't feel like eating, not that I could stomach anything after realizing this.

   "No." I said, burrowing deeper into the blanket, hiding away my face.

   "Okay then, I'll be out for a second, I'll come back later." Joon said, heading out the door, not hearing the soft whimpers that started again.

   "You're going out with Eun Ah, aren't you?" I asked soon after Joon had left.

   I continued to sob into the pillows, grieving over my cheating boyfriend. I didn't know why, but I occasionally get these episodes, usually I'm a lot more cheerful then this.

   I have a personality disorder, and sometimes, my worse side resurfaces.

   It's not like I want to be weak like this, I just am. It'll last for a weer or two then slowly fade off.

   Joon knows about them too, but he still remains with me, that takes a lot.

   Or maybe, he really doesn't love me and is hanging out with my sister.

   Maybe...


I don't know when, but I had fallen asleep. When I woke up again, I was feeling a bit more like myself. Joon was hugging me tightly from behind, the gentle pitter-patter rang through the room as the droplets of rain water hit the window pane.

   Softly, I stirred, turning over to face my beloved husband. I his cheeks, why would such a beautiful creature want me?

   I traced his plump, smooth lips. These were the very lips that kissed me good morning everyday, and probably had landed on my sister before.

   "Why?" I asked softly, not knowing what I meant.

   Joon frowned in his sleep, maybe he had heard me, or maybe he was just dreaming of me. I was something unpleasant, and of course he would frown if he saw me. No - he'd probably scowl, or curse at me for ruining his chance of marrying my sister.

   Maybe purposing to me was a mistake, an utter mishap.

   Joon tightened his grip around my waist, pulling me closer to his chest. It felt nice there, warm and soft, but I didn't feel sure. I wasn't sure, I should say.

   What are my feelings? What are his? Am I the third wheel? What is happening with me?

                                                                                                         ***

When Joon stirred from his slumber, Mir had already left. The space next to him was empty, and he frowned at it. He didn't like waking up alone, much less to a cold bed.

   He didn't know when, but Mir had became fragile, not that he minded, but Mir just wasn't himself.

   Joon had tried to confront the boy, but the subject would always be changed, and Joon would always be left unanswered.

   "Honey?" He called out to the empty room which obviously held no trace of Mir.

   "I'm in the kitchen!" Mir yelled back from down the hallway. The rain still hasn't ceased, but seemed to have gotten worse.

   The thunder boomed in the distance, light flashed across the clouded sky.

   Joon got up sleepily, stumbling to the kitchen. Mir stood in front of the stove, flipping eggs.

   "Sunny side up?" Joon asked, hugging Mir from behind.

   "No, it's sunny side down." Mir joked, a bit sarcastically.

   "I see your back to yourself." Joon made the mistake of saying it out loud.

   "Back to myself? What are you talking about?" Mir questioned, flipping the egg in the air.

   "Nothing, don't mind my silly-talking." He replied quickly, it was better if Mir forgot about his actions.

   "Well, stop your silly-talking and start setting up the table, you have to go to work early today.

   "I took the day off, remember? I told you yesterday." Joon retorted, but pried his hands off Mir anyway. He grabbed two plate and other necessities and placed it on the table, according to Mir's liking.

   Breakfast was served and eaten, and the lively duo decided to watch a movie together.

   "Honey, we are not watching that movie again, we've watched it, like a billion time before." Joon hissed once he saw Mir's choice of movie.

   "Well, we watched 'Fast and Furious' a bunch of times before, but you said we can watch it again. It's the same with this movie!" Mir said, pouting like a little kid.

   Giving in to his husband's adorkableness, yes that's a word according to Joon, he went ahead and watched a movie they've watched ten times before.

   Mir laughed throughout the entire movie, his laugh was something that was so...him. Joon's mother used to say that a person's laughter usually always portray their character. But then again, Joon's mother was always a good judge of character. She was a policewoman after all.

   It was only lunch time when the rain had stopped. Mir had fallen asleep in Joon's arm, and wouldn't budge no matter what Joon did to him.

   "Wake up." Joon tried to nudge Mir, he tried to tickle Mir, he threw ice down the boy's shirt, threw him on the couch, heck, he even slapped Mir's , but nothing made him open his eyes.

   Mir sometimes fell asleep like this, since Mir is actually a light sleeper. Finally giving up, Joon went to the kitchen to get something to drink. He sighed, something he did a lot since he was twelve.

   When he went back to the couch, he found Mir huddled up in a ball, crying in his sleep.

   "Don't leave me..." Mir sniffed, Joon sat down to run his hand through Mir's brown locks.

   "I won't," he promised.


Mir jolted awake with a scream. He had just dreamed of Joon leaving him, and that couldn't happen. Joon was too important to him.

   "Are you okay?" Joon asked, concern seeped onto his face.

   "Yeah, just a nightmare." Mir spoke, his voice sounded hoarse and dry.

   "I'll go get you a cup of water." Joon said, getting up off the bed. Mir grabbed Joon's sleeve.

   "Don't leave me." Mir whispered.

   "I won't." Joon said, and disappeared through the door.

   He came back moments later, glass in hand. He held the glass up to Mir's dry lips, and Mir gratefully sipped at it.

   He breathed out a sigh of relief once his thirst had been taken cared of.

   "Are you sure you're okay? Do we need to go back to therapy?" Joon asked, concerned.

   "No, we don't. We're not fighting, why do we need to go the marriage counselor?" Mir said, uneasy. He didn't like therapy, there was nothing wrong with him, so why should he go?

   "I meant to visit Dr. Jang." Joon said, shuffling to the other side of the bed where Mir laid. "You need this, not us." He added on, caressing Mir's face.

   "What's that suppose to mean? You think I'm crazy, don't you? Why else would I need to visit a psychologist? I'm not crazy!" Mir screeched, pushing Joon off the bed. He wasn't crazy, he wasn't insane, he was normal...why couldn't Joon see that? Maybe Joon wanted  Mir to be crazy, that way he could send Mir off to an asylum, and he could then be free with Eun Ah. He ran out the doors and left the house, it had started to drizzle slightly but Mir paid no mind to it. He kept running, he didn't know where, but he did.

   Back in the room, Joon was shocked into silence. He was stunned, Mir was having another one of his episodes. He needed to call Mir's family, only they had the medicine for Mir's illness.

   "Hello?" He said as soon as he dialed Eun Ah's phone number.

   "Joon?" Eun Ah asked, shock evident in her voice.
 

   "Mir's having another panic attack." Joon informed.

   "I'll be right over," Eun Ah assured.

   "I'll be out looking for Mir, the front door will be open, so please feel free to come in." Joon replied, hanging up immediately.

   Joon ran after Mir, who's image was fading away in the horizon just beyond.

   He didn't know why, but Mir always seemed to hate his sister.

   As far as he knew, Mir had been traumatized by a past experience and seemed to have pushed his family away ever since. He developed personalities for them...cruel and unusual. He wanted to hate them, and he did. Joon had no clue as to what Mir experienced, but it was pretty bad for Mir to have formed a personality disorder.

   Turning corner after corner, only catching a glismpe of Mir ever time before Mir turned again, Joon had been chasing Mir for what seemed like hours. He lost him in the end.

   Joon had no idea where Mir headed, but it seemed like Mir didn't know where he was going either. Mir never ventured farther than he needed to.

   Joon was worried, he attempted to run faster, but he was slowly losing his energy. The weather had gotten worse, and it was now thundering really bad. Joon suddenly remembered something.

   Rain...that's the cause of Mir's sudden episodes. It always happened when it rained!

   Thankfully, the area they lived around never encountered storms often, this one time was an exception.

   Just what happened to you in this weather, Mir? What did you see that was so unpleasant? Joon asked himself.

                                                                                                     ***

I saw my sister at the door when I arrived home. I was right, Joon was cheating on me. He was waiting for me to leave so he could spend time with Eun Ah. I won't allow that. I can't. Joon's too precious to me, and I will never let him go.

   I stomped up to the door step and walked in. My sister was just setting down a package of something on the kitchen counter.

   "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!" I screamed, I didn't know what took over me, but I felt so angry.

   "What are you talking about?" Eun Ah asked, she seemed generally confused.

   "You know what I'm talking about," I growled through my clenched teeth.

   "I really don't. You need to take your pills, though." She smiled. She wanted me dead, I'm sure of it.

   "I beg a differ. You know what I'm talking about and now you're trying to kill me? Why are you so cruel?!" I demanded, slapping the pills out of her hand. She seemed shock, but regained her mask of calmness.

   "Mir, are you still traumatized? Have you not forgotten that one time? Are you still shock over it?" Eun Ah suddenly realized what was happening, but brought up the subject the wrong way. My eyes brimmed with tears, they glinted in the light when I lifted my head to meet her's.

   "How would you know anything? You never saw it, you never experienced it." I hissed, dropping onto the floor. I pulled my legs to my chest, sniffing softly.

   "Mir!" Joon cried as he entered the room, he was soaked from head to toe, much like I was myself.

   "Don't touch me!" I yelled as he tried to my hair.

   Chelyong.

   "What did you just call me?" I shouted, my ears seemed to have been pounding. Everything was so loud, yet I heard nothing but the quiet murmurs of my past.

   Chelyong-ah,  that sweet voice called again. I found myself slowly drifting off to sleep, my sister knelt in front of me. Or so I assumed, since my vision was blurred.

   "Mireu," I heard Joon whisper before I slipped into a deep slumber.

                                                                                                                          ***

"You owe me some answers," Joon said after he had carefully placed Mir on their shared bed. He glanced accusingly at Eun Ah.

   "I had to , he would've gone mad if I didn't. I don't want that for my brother, not after he went through that." Eun Ah had put Mir to sleep by pressing on a certain point in his body. It was a self-defense move she had learned.

   "And what is that?" Joon asked, the sleeping boy's hair.

   "He's traumatized-"

   "That much I know." Joon interrupted.

   "Let me finish! We went to Japan one summer for a family vacation, this was when Mir was still...sane. We were at the train stop and everyone was crowding on, and Mir got lost in the crowd. A man eventually found him and kept him in his house. That man was a murderer. A filthy fugitive." She sighed. Eun Ah didn't want to say more, but for the safety of her brother's husband, she has to. "And the man began to abuse him. He had a smaller daughter, who was driven insane, and she joined in on the torture as well. That's why he has that big scar running up his left thigh.

   He believed them when he said they were his parents. They eventually stopped beating him, but one day, when it was storming really bad, they started to hit him. It just started out as a few slaps, but then it grew into punches and kicks, and eventually they began digging into his body with knives.

   They dumped his body into the forest and some lucky hunter found him before he died.

   We almost lost him once, and we can't loose him again. He wouldn't acknowledge our real personality and started to talk to himself when we stood in front of him. He came up with all sorts of delusional ideas of us mistreating him, that I'm after you.

   And I guess you know everything else. We went to a psychologist daily back then, but he wouldn't talk with anyone besides himself, but then you came. The doctor suggested in entering him to an asylum, but he tried to kill himself the first day there.

   You were his life line that connected with reality, and it seems he's slipping off you as well."
 

                                                                                             ***
 

He was sitting in the corner of the padded room, huddled up into a ball.

   "Is he talking to himself again?" A nurse asked.

   The doctor nodded, sighing. "Poor boy, he's been in here ever since he was eleven. Must be tough."

   "I'm not insane. Joon will save me. He will. I'm not insane. I'm not insane. I'M NOT!" Mir cried.
 
   "Poor boy, he's delusional." The nurse whispered.

   Don't worry Mir, I'll save you.

   "See? Joonie said he'll save me." Mir smiled, a bit menacingly.

   No. He's mine.

   "Go away Eun Ah." Mir hissed.

   Chelyong-ah...

   "Appa?" Mir asked.

   He's not delusional, he's normal.

   A group of voice said in unison.

   "That's right, I'm normal. I'm normal! Ahahahaha!" The grin that spread upon his face was not normal. It was never normal and never will be. It's because Mir wasn't normal.

                                                                                                             A/N

Guys, I'll check this over tomorrow, I'm super tired right now. I'm sorry for the grammar, as I said, I'm tired. I'll edit it later, so feel free to point out mistake and lessen my work.

This was probably very interesting, and by interesting, I mean insane.

That was the message guys, insanity.

Anyway, have you noticed my obsession with making at least one of y character's mentally illed? Yes?

I'll say more later in the edit, this is too tiring. 3528 words can really tire you out. Ugh...I'm typing more words. Anyway, I had a total of 15 pages (I wrote more but deleted it because it was unnecessary. It was part of the beginning, it makes no sense in the beginning, doesn't it?) Bye. I'm sleepy.