[Chae Rin’s POV]

 

“Ahjussi~ can I have one more bottle of *hiccup* soju~?” I said while resting my head on the table while my right hand is raised up.

 

“Miss, are you sure you’re alright?  You’re drunk already,” I heard the ahjussi answered.

 

I sat up straight, put on my sunglasses and my hoodie back in place in my head, and looked at him.  Of course I’m on disguise. I’m CL, the leader of 2NE1.  No one should know that The Baddest Female is here, drinking soju with red, puffy eyes.

 

I went inside this tent that serves soju and pigskin and other stuffs when we got back from Inkigayo.  BIGBANG and 2NE1 were there to perform.  We are already in our dorm when I told Dara-unnie that I’ll go outside to buy some ice cream.

 

But she didn’t know I came here.  No one knows.

 

I saw the ahjussi shake his head but he gave me my 2^nd bottle of soju.  I poured some in my glass and drank it.

 

I still can’t get used to its flavor, that’s because I don’t really drink.  But it made me feel numb.  I needed that feeling right now.

 

I stared at the bottles in front of me, and the scenes that I saw earlier just flooded my mind.

 

I felt a lump on my throat and I feel like crying… again.  I gave myself another shot of soju, thinking that it can make the lump in my throat disappear but it didn’t.

 

Then someone poked my back.  I looked at the person and squinted behind my dark glasses.

 

A sigh of relief escaped from his mouth. “At last I’ve found you, Chae Rin-ah!”

 

“Oppa!” I called.  It’s Ji Yong-oppa.

 

“Come, have a seat.”

 

But he just stood there, staring at me.

 

“I know I look horrible, okay.  Just join me for now… Please…” I pleaded.

 

Ji Yong-oppa sat beside me. “You drank all of this?” he said, pertaining to the bottles of soju in my table.

 

I nodded.

 

“You’re crazy! You don’t drink, Chae Rin!” he said with controlled anger.

 

“I know…  But my mind is still clear…”

 

At that time, I felt that I needed someone. Someone that I can tell the things that are bothering me.  And that someone is Ji Yong.  He treats me like a little sister and I treat him like an older brother.  I know I can trust him on this.

 

“Oppa, can I tell you a secret?  But promise me you won’t say it to anyone,” I said, my eyes remained staring at the table.  I saw him nod through my peripheral vision.

 

I cleared my throat first and poured soju on my glass.

 

I saw him texting, maybe to tell the others that I’m here.

 

“It’s about Seungri,” I started and drank the content of the glass.

 

He stopped doing what he’s doing.

 

“He’s bothering me, not physically though, but mentally… and emotionally.  It started way back when he complimented me that I’m beautiful.  At first I don’t believe him because we both know that he’s a great teaser.  But I saw sincerity in his eyes and his smile.”

 

I was about to pour soju on my glass when I thought that I can drink it straight from the bottle, so I did that.  I didn’t drink it all in one go, of course.  I’m glad that Ji Yong-oppa is not stopping me to do it.

 

“Aaaaaah~ you’re listening, right, oppa?” I asked because he never uttered a single word.

 

“Deh,” he just said.

 

“Since that day,” I continued.  It’s funny how I can still speak straight even though my eyes are blurry and my head is starting to ache. “I can’t help myself but think of him and what he said to me.  It’s the very first time he did that.  At that time, I honestly don’t know how to react.  And since then, I felt something weird… here…” I put my hand on my chest, in front of my heart.

 

“What did you feel?” Ji Yong-oppa asked.

 

“I felt… happy.  I never felt that happy before,” I admitted.

 

“A lot of guys already told me the same thing, even you.  But hearing those words from Seungri, it felt different.  I felt… I actually felt giddy.”

 

I smiled when I remembered that moment.  He told me that at one of our performances, and I felt great and confident performing our song on stage.

 

“Ever since that night, he always does things that amaze me. One time, he gave me this Rilakumma keychain,” I showed him my phone because that is where I put it. “It’s his first gift for me.  And he always text me late at night, asking if I’m sleeping already or not.  In short, he became sweet to me.

 

“Days passed by so quickly.  There came a time that whenever I see him, my heart flutters.  Whenever I hear his voice, I flinch.  Whenever he’s near me, I can’t look at him because I’m afraid that he’ll see something in my eyes.

 

“And not long ago, something struck me – aah…” I held on to my head because I felt like something ticked inside my head and it hurts.

 

“Chae Rin-ah, are you alright?” I can feel the concern and worry in his voice. “Come on now, I’ll take you ho –”

 

“No… not yet…” I stopped him.

 

“But –”

 

“Something struck me, oppa,” I cut him off while I’m still massaging my head. “I fully understood now why my heart flutters, why I flinch, why I can’t look at him in the eyes and why he’s always on my mind…”

 

I drank the remaining contents in the bottle before I tell him the truth.

 

“It’s because I’m in love with him… I’m in love with Seungri… I don’t know when but I know I love him…” I chuckled then whispered, “I’m in love with someone whom I thought I’ll never fall in love with.”

 

I looked at Ji Yong-oppa with blurry eyes. He stared at me, eyes wide like he saw a ghost.

 

“Funny isn’t it?”

 

“But why are you drinking?  You… you just realized that you love… Seungri, but why are you doing this?”

 

The lump in my throat came back and I felt tears will come out of my eyes.  I looked up thinking that it will help my tears won’t fall. I sighed heavily.

 

“I told you that he did things that amaze me, I think that’s the reason why I fell for him.  Because we always bicker before and all of a sudden he became sweet and all to me.  I’m not prepared.

 

“I actually thought that he also has feelings for me, and so I hoped.  B-but –” an unexpected sob escaped from my throat, and the tears followed.

 

I hastily wiped my tears.  “I saw him earlier, and heard him too… he’s flirting with another female idol.  I know the reason is too trivial… but I was hurt. Sh*t~” I cursed inwardly because my tears are streaming freely from my eyes.

 

“I thought, ‘is he playing with me? Is he always like that to all the girls he meet? Did he just play a joke on me?  Did he just give me false hope that he actually liked me?’  When he said those same things he said to me to that girl, he has the same reaction as well…” I said bitterly while still crying.

 

“I… I was hurt… badly… But the point is… I’m crying here like a baby for the person who gave me the reason to smile everyday and that same person broke my heart into pieces… But we never had something.  H-he’s not even my boyfriend to start with.  I feel like an idiot… I-I should h-have never f-fallen –”

 

I gave up at that moment. I rested my head on my arms on the table and cried helplessly.

 

“I should have never fallen for him!  I should have never loved him this much!  It hurts so badly! Ahjussi~!!! GIVE ME ONE MORE BOTTLE!”

 

“No, Chae Rin. You had enough,” Ji Yong-oppa said, grabbing my raised hand.

 

I snatched my hand from his grip. “No! Just let me have one more~! Oppa! I needed it! You don’t… understand…” I said, still bawling.

 

But then my head started to spin, my sight became blurry.

 

“Chae Rin-ah!”

 

I heard Ji Yong-oppa called before I was enveloped by the darkness.

 

-------

[Ji Yong’s POV]

 

“S-she told me, she’s j-just going to buy i-ice cream…” Dara was crying her eyes out while hugging me, I her back to comfort her.  “And now Seungri is still not here!” she cried more and hugged me tighter.

 

We are outside the YG Building, all of us except for Seungri.  He’s not yet back and we still can’t find Chae Rin.

 

Aish, that girl.  Is she not even aware that there are people worrying over her?!

 

“Ah.  I think… I think that’s Seungri,” Seunghyun-hyung said.

 

We looked at where hyung is looking and we did saw Seungri, carrying a sleeping Chae Rin at his back.

 

“Seungri!” Dara released me and went to Seungri and Chae Rin. She Chae Rin’s hair.

 

“Yah, Seungri!  You brat, why didn’t you call us?!” I nagged.

 

Seungri’s face was blank when he came near.  He can’t even look straight at my eyes. What’s wrong with this panda?  I know something’s wrong here.

 

“M-mianhe, hyung.  It’s just… M-my phone went dead and Chae Rin’s phone has no battery, too…”

 

The others bought his alibi.  But I didn’t.  I know Seungri well enough to know if he’s lying or not.

 

“Noona, stop crying now,” Seungri said to Dara. “Chae Rin is here now. She’s safe.”

 

Dara just nodded. “We’ll take her home now.  Thank you for helping us,” she bowed.

 

Youngbae helped Seungri in getting Chae Rin on the backseat in Dara’s car.  Bom-noona sat at the passenger’s seat and Minzy sat at the backseat, too, supporting her unnie’s head.

 

“Dara-yah, can you drive?” I asked, still worried over her because she cried earlier.

 

“Deh, Ji.  I’m fine.  You guys can go home now, thank you again,” she said. She was about to enter the car when Seungri spoke.

 

“A-ah, noona!  P-please text me if… if Chae Rin is already awake tomorrow.”

 

Dara gave him a knowing smile. “No need Seungri.  You can go to our dorm tomorrow morning,” then she sped away.

 

“A-ani! I… *sigh* nevermind…”

 

“Let’s go home now,” Daesung said.

 

We went to the car and I sat beside Seungri. I draped my arm in his shoulders and whispered, “You’re lying earlier. What happened?”

 

He swallowed hard. “Hyung…”