Title: A Thousand Years

Prompt: A Thousand Years by Christina Perri

Setting: SM Town

Pairing: Chenlay; implied Xiuhan and Taoris

Rating: PG

Summary: Jongdae has loved Yixing for a thousand years. Yixing does not know what love is.

Author’s note: This song was playing on my radio and suddenly images came to my mind so it sorta urged me to write this. It was like my inspiration light bulb suddenly got electricity to light up again what am I saying~? I do hope you all will like it though! Laychen/Chenlay is one of my favourite pairings and they look absolutely cute together!

Heart beats fast, colours and promises

How to be brave, how can I love when I’m afraid to fall.

But watching you stand alone, all of my doubts,

Suddenly go away.

He watches Yixing silently at a corner as the dancer gets along with his dance routine. How can someone look so beautiful Jongdae does not know, except that Yixing is the only one in the room shining with the light of a thousand stars. Yixing was every beautiful colour, emitting so much positivity that Jongdae feels so light-hearted and jubilant just watching Yixing from a corner of the practice room. As every drop of sweat slides down his sharp, aristocratic facial features with each strong dance move, Jongdae feels his heart beats faster.

Dudub. Dudub. Dudub.

Instead of going dub, dub, dub.

Jongdae places a hand over his palpitating heart to try to calm it down. Yixing dances with force and energy. He then looks to the mirror and smiles to Jongdae through it. Jongdae decides his heart could not stay calm anymore no matter how hard he is trying to press his palm into his chest. Because Yixing’s dimpled smile. His Xingxing-hyung’s dimpled smile.

Why do you make me fall for you even more? Even when I’m determined to stop.

Jongdae could only smile brightly in response to his Xingxing-hyung’s smile. But he truthfully knows that his bright smile is weak compared to Yixing’s dimpled smile because he wants to stop loving Yixing. And Yixing is not doing anything to make Jongdae stop loving him.

Because no matter how happy Yixing tries to be in front of him and the rest of the members of EXO-M, Jongdae knows he can never be truly happy. Especially when the object of your affections loves another. He stops himself from falling deeper in love with Yixing because he knows that Yixing’s heart belongs to Duizhang. And Duizhang belongs to the panda-maknae Tao. And Jongdae knows he will never be able to stop loving Yixing.

Because when you love someone, you just can’t force yourself to stop loving him. Because his happiness matter so much to you such that you are willing to die just to make sure that he is happy. Your life was insignificant when compared to your lover’s happiness. And when Jongdae saw Yixing standing outside of Duizhang and Tao’s room—the light in his eyes dying and his face returning to an emotionless picture—watching the two lovers kiss and embrace and hug with hands running all over, the lonely silhouette of Yixing’s proud figure stunned Jongdae, driving away all his doubts about an unrequited love, and he decides he can never leave Yixing alone again.

And he can never stop loving Yixing.

I have died everyday waiting for you,

Darling don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years.

He pulls Yixing into his silent embrace and makes sure he holds Yixing securely in his arms as Yixing fell to the floor of their shared room in a weeping mess. With every tear that flowed out of Yixing’s beautiful eyes, Jongdae feels himself dying a little inside. How he wished that Yixing would be crying and shedding tears for him. How he wished Yixing loved him with a passion and his soul. Because Jongdae is sure he loves Yixing with equal intensity. And it was because Zhang Yixing was Zhang Yixing.

He pats and rubs Yixing’s back soothingly, trying to comfort the broken soul from all the misery that was torturing him and showering all his love on Yixing. Also, Jongdae hopes to convey this message to Yixing—that whatever storms there may be outside, he would always protect Yixing in his embrace and shield everything away from him so that nothing hurts and breaks Yixing. So that Yixing will be whole and complete and smiling his happy dimpled smile like how Jongdae likes it.

“Xingxing-hyung, don’t be afraid,” Jongdae whispers with sincerity into Yixing’s ears, “I’ll always be here to love you and care for you.”

And he will make sure he picks up every minute piece of Yixing’s broken soul and piece them back together with all his love so that Yixing, his favourite Xingxing-hyung, would be whole and happy again. Even if it breaks his heart into a thousand tiny pieces.

Because Jongdae has loved Yixing all these while.

I’ll love you for a thousand more.

Yixing tries to ignore Jongdae’s confession and pretends it’s all a joke because he needs time to get over Duizhang. But Jongdae was persistent and shows it through his actions. Jongdae cares for him every time he wallowed in this unrequited love. Every morning, his mug will be filled with warm milk (his favourite) and freshly toasted bread with loads of butter and strawberry jam in it. Every afternoon, there will be a lunchbox packed with his favourite pan-fried meat (kept lukewarm) and a bottle of energy drink so that he could replenish his energy for harsher and more vigorous dance routines. Every night, when he can’t sleep, Jongdae sings a lullaby with his soothing and gentle voice until Yixing falls into a deep slumber.

Yixing admits he has never slept better.

Jongdae was a vocalist and Yixing was a dancer. They never had too many shared periods of practice because while Yixing is training to improve his dance, Jongdae trains his voice. And when Yixing has to go for vocal practice, Jongdae has to refine the basics of his dance skills.

So those little moments where they met each other in corridors, back in the dorms and back in their room suddenly becomes precious to Yixing. Because Jongdae would always give him his bright smile and grabs his hands tightly for a slight moment when they were crossing each other in SM’s corridors before letting go, letting Yixing know that he will always be there. When they are back at the dorms, the secret smiles shared during dinner times and the extra rice in Yixing’s bowl made him feel so complete, warm and loved.

Life was down in a pit when Jongdae went home to Korea to visit his family.

Yixing finds himself suffering from insomnia so bad that it was so much worse when compared to the times he was depressed because of Tao and Duizhang’s relationship. He couldn’t dance with the same amount of energy that he used too because whenever he looks into the mirror for that special spot in that corner of the room, there was no one smiling at him or mouthing a silent “hwaiting”. Whenever he looks for his lunchbox, he finds cold dishes and none were his favourite. His energy drink went missing too. Whenever it was dinner time in the dorms, there was no one to share secret smiles with, there was no more extra rice in Yixing’s bowl. And whenever he needs comforting in the privacy of his room, he could only settle with wrapping himself in Jongdae’s blanket and inhaling Jongdae’s light scent (Jongdae smells like his bath soap of oats and milk and freshly washed cotton clothes dried in the sun).

Yet it was in this time of isolation from Jongdae that allowed Yixing to contemplate on his love life. Why did Jongdae become so important in just three months? Jongdae loves him. Does he love Jongdae? Then what about Wu Yifan?  What happens to his heart? He contemplates this every night.

It was the second week that Jongdae was back in Korea.

And Yixing was busy thinking and slowly coming to realise the scope of his feelings for Jongdae. Because such longing for this person made his feelings for Kris seem so insignificant. Yes, he longs for Kris to care for him. But that was it. Kris cares for him. Yifan tends to ask him about his progress on his dance routine, make sure to remind him to drink enough water and eat more (but how could he eat more when Jongdae wasn’t here to make sure Yixing gets his favourite food for all three meals of the day, how could he eat more when there was Jongdae missing at the dining table?) and sleep well. If it was compared with three months ago, Yixing would jump with joy when Yifan did all these. Yet now, he feels nothing for Yifan’s gestures. No heart beating fast, no longing, no anticipation.

“Luhan,” he walks and sits on the sofa next to the mess of limbs called Luhan.

“Yixing,” came a weak voice as Luhan stares into air.

“How do you know you love, like really actually love, Minseok-hyung?” because he was no longer sure what was love all about. Did he really love Duizhang like he assumed?

“How do I know I love Baozi?” Luhan untangles his limbs and sat to face Yixing, cocking his head to the side as he thinks about Yixing’s question.

Then Luhan’s lips were pulled upwards into a dreamy smile, his eyes turning all sparkly, “I know I love Baozi because when he is not by my side, I can’t sleep and can’t eat properly. Whenever I go into our room, I tend to think about those times where we were just holding each other in our arms. Because when Baozi is here, it’s like my sun is back, like the wind finally blows, like the flowers finally blooms and everything is well again.”

Yixing listens attentively, and matches Luhan’s symptoms with his.

He loves Jongdae?

Jongdae finally returns from Korea. And Yixing feels like he can finally breathe again. Because seeing Jongdae in their shared room unpacking his stuff while mumbling about Korea is enough to let him live again. And it irked him to no ends—the fire burns in his heart and he could feel his limbs itching badly—when Jongdae shares about his adventures with Suho-hyung in Korea. He feels irritated and he hopes that Jongdae will stay by his side from now on and he hopes that it is only his name that Jongdae mentions with such joy.

“Yixing-hyung, you listening?” Jongdae places aside his stuff before standing up to look at Yixing who was immobile and just staring at Jongdae.

“Are you okay?” Jongdae asks again, feeling weirded out by his Xingxing-hyung.

Yixing then realises that this is love. Just like that. With Jongdae asking him if he was listening to his rants and rumblings, with Jongdae unpacking his stuff and placing it into their shared closet, with Jongdae asking if Yixing was fine, with Jongdae just coming home and into their room with a bright smile, and with Jongdae patting Yixing’s crumpled bedspread to make sure it’s all neat again. Yixing had an instant epiphany on the true meaning  of love right in that instant when Jongdae looks up to him smiling.

Because love was this simple, it doesn’t have to be about all the kisses and hugs. Because Jongdae knows what Yixing is feeling and going through emotionally everytime and he always knows what to say to make Yixing feel better. He always knows what Yixing is thinking and despite his 4D-ness, Jongdae understands Yixing. And Yixing subconsciously starts to care about Jongdae as well, like knowing Jongdae doesn’t take peppers to protect his voice, like Jongdae was ticklish around the waist when they hug, like Jongdae loves watching romantic comedies and cries whenever there was an emotional scene and that Jongdae was afraid of bugs.

It was like they were made to be together in the first place.

Yixing sees the light at last.

“Yoohoo! Xingxing-hyu—,” and Jongdae was silenced because Yixing pulls him into his embrace.

“Jongdae-ah,” he coos softly with his gentle voice, “I will not make you wait anymore longer. Wo ai ni, saranghae.”

Jongdae returns the hug and pulls Yixing tighter into his embrace, a satisfied smile on his chiselled face.

“Took you long enough, hyung,” Jongdae teased, “wo ai ni.”

All along I believed I would find you.

Time has brought your heart to me.

I have loved you for a thousand years, I’ll love you for a thousand more.

-

FIN.

-

Oh wellls! It's a another rather simplistic piece. HAHAHA, no one said love wasn't simple.

Love can be simple and I hope that you all will like it. It's a rather slice of life piece?

so someone gets confused because he was having "love-like" feelings for another.

but when comparison comes in and tadah. you know the answer to true love.

what's hidden out was that Lay starts to love Kris (or at least he thought he love kris) when it was the day

that he was suffering from gastric and Kris and Luhan dragged him to the hospital.

jongdae wasn't there because he was at vocal practice.

and you know the whole "i'm alone in a foreign country but someone is from my hometown and cares alot for me" situation.

As for why he did not fall for Luhan was because Kris offered to stay one night in the hospital with Lay instead of luhan.

so here's the whole "backstory"

BUT true love is not a choice, it may happen in an instant. and you can't just stop loving someone just because you want to.

and it just continues on and on.  Chen loves Lay because he is Lay. There is no other reason. 

comment replies:

@disfortwo: thanks for the sweet comment! and the compliments on my writing. I'm glad you like the piece and you didn't find my repetition irritating because I personally think that repitition was needed to convey the message strongly enough. Yes, small gestures are sometimes the manifestation of a powerful love. 

big things don't necessarily make love grander. it's usually the simple things that keep the love going on to last for another few decades.

i definitely ship Xiuhan.

it's my favourite pairing in the whole EXO fandom because the interactions between Xiumin and Luhan are just so precious.

the backhugs, luhan resting his chin on xiumin's shoulders and they pulling each other around and whispering.

it speaks volumes :) hahaha, I support other pairings too but if i have to have a favourite pairing in EXO fandom, it would definitely be Xiuhan :) <3

thanks once again, I hope you love this piece as well :) and i will definitely write another xiuhan again :D 

@candymints: awwww! thanks! :) I definitely hope you like this piece as well :) i wonder if you like chenlay ;/

@Mr_Koala: sure :) when I have an inspiration, i'll definitely write a Krisyeol one :)