My name is Chansung Hwang. I live in a nice cozy neighborhood in Japan. I didn’t have anything special happening in my daily life. The only thing I did really was go to work, come home, cook, sleep, and that was my whole day. During my lunch break, I would visit this small café. Although it was small, they always had business. Anything you wanted to eat they had it. I would usually order a small lemonade with a turkey and cheese sandwich and a vanilla cupcake on the side. I would also have the same waiter. His name was Junho.

Junho had to be the most beautiful person I had ever met. He was of medium stature, milky skin, tiny smiling eyes, plump lips, and muscular. Not to mention he had the plumpest bottom I had ever seen. Most women didn’t even have a bottom like his. I’m sorry, but you can’t help but notice. Anyway…whenever I would come to the café, Junho always knew what I was going to order unless for some weird reason I wanted something different. It made me feel special that he would remember what I liked.

It was hard for me to express how I would feel about someone. I didn’t know why, but if I had to give a reason right on the spot, it could be because I am afraid of rejection and who wouldn’t be? Time and time again I would come across some guy that I would get attracted to. Sometimes I would tell him and other times I would remain silent. You would think that by the time you are twenty that the age-old issues of the high school crush would go away but they don’t. I remember when I was in high school and I had a crush on the most popular guy in school. He was tall, athletic, and was really smart. He was always surrounded by girls and guys all the time because they admired him so much. I didn’t want to be a groupie, but I did need to get close enough to him to tell him how I felt about him. It was not easy because I didn’t know how he was going to react. When I finally did tell him, he told me that he was already dating someone. If that wasn’t bad enough, the guy he was dating found out and came after me. I was so embarrassed. I wish I hadn’t even said anything. Now, I find myself in another situation like that but things are a little bit different this time. When I wasn’t expecting to have a crush on someone it happened.

I knew that continuing to go to this café and holding in such a secret wasn’t necessarily healthy, but I couldn’t help myself. The food was too good and Junho was always there. There was no way that I could walk by this place and not see his smiling face every day. I knew that one day I was going to tell him how I felt, but I had no idea when that was going to be.

Sometimes he and I would have random conversations when he was on break. It was a good thing that my lunch break was so long. We would talk about really random things: food, school, family; really anything you can think of. He would make my heart skip a beat when he laughed that cute laugh of his. I liked the way his eyes would squint and appear almost like slits whenever he smiled. He was warm and friendly, and I always felt at ease whenever I was around him. Even if I was having a bad day, somehow whenever I would see him smile, all of the bad feelings I had would melt away. He had something special about him and I wanted to know more about him. This was so difficult because I didn’t want to look so obvious, nor did I want to come off as a creep trying to flirt with him all the time. Deep down I was shy and a little timid when it came to things like this. I would give anything to be close to him.