It has been almost a week since our last lunch together.  The longest week I’ve ever gone through in all my twenty four years of living.  Every day seemed never ending.  So I was so glad that after my long wait, tomorrow was finally Friday. 

The one day of the week when we always sat together in that cozy little café, sipping our sweet cups of coffee, enjoying our pleasant little talks.  It has only been a week, but I had already missed our time together. 

I already missed him.

I checked my phone for the n^th time, hoping to see a text from him.  Nothing.  Not a single notification.  I fixed my attention back on the tv in front of me.  I had been sitting on my couch for an hour now, absentmindedly watching some tv program without even knowing what it was. 

My eyes were focused on the bright box sitting across me, but my mind was way out in another galaxy, thinking about the guy I secretly love, wondering if he would, or even could, ever feel the same way about me.

A familiar scenery on the screen interrupted my chain of thoughts.  The host of the program was sitting at a table of a little café.  I widened my eyes to make sure I wasn’t imagining things. 

She was in le petite café, sitting at the corner table where he and I always sat, drinking the ice Americano that he always drank.  The host started talking about what a cozy place it was, and how nice the coffee was, and bla bla bla.  But I didn’t catch her words for after that sight, my mind went shooting off, trailing to another dimension. 

A dimension where only he existed.

I started to remember every moment we spent together in the corner of that little café. 

I remembered all the things that made me fall in love with him. 

The way he would always already be sitting there when I came walking through the door.  How the seconds turned to minutes as I took the few steps toward him.  How his welcoming smile always made my heart stop. 

My lips formed a smile on its own as memories of him kept tumbling in my head. 

I remembered his piercing hazel eyes that I love so much.  How those eyes always made me blush and catch my breath whenever I found them looking at me.  I love how he always listened to everything I had to say, and how he always laughed at every silly joke I said, even when I know he’s probably heard them before.  I love how warm his hugs feel, and how safe I always felt in his arms.  I love the smell of his cologne that always brings goose bumps down my neck when I kiss his soft cheeks.  I love how he always waits for me to walk away before turning around to leave. 

I love so many things about him, but I didn’t have the guts to tell him.

I wanted to tell him how much I miss him.  I wanted to tell him how much I wish I could see his face.  How every thought of him always brought a smile to my face.  I wanted to tell him that I was madly, deeply, falling for him, but I couldn’t. 

Not with the risk of losing him.  I couldn’t take that chance.  Even if I could never be the one he loves, I was happy enough to be the best friend he spent every Friday afternoon with. 

I’d rather let things be the way they were, than ruin everything with those three simple words.

‘knock knock..’

The sound of knocking on the front door took me back to reality.  I wondered who it could be as I walked to the open the door. 

‘knock knock..’

“I’m coming..” I said loud enough so the person outside could hear.

I opened the door, and my heart stopped. 

Was I going crazy? Was my eyes playing tricks on me? 

There, in front of me, stood the man I had been day dreaming about. 

My best friend. 

My Seunghyun.