Chapter 16 

It was my first `day at my “new” job. Was I excited about this? Well, yes and no. Normally this would have been an amazing oppurtunity for me. Working in a jimusho that I always respected; living with my dear grandparents... I guess because of the way I got this job, I was not excited at all. Now that I was living with my grandparents I started to help obaasan with cooking, and cleaning. Yesterday I decided to clean up the whole house thinking that it might take my mind off of him. It did work for a few hours while I cleaned; but the moment I was done the thoughts of him hit me like a huge wave. 

“Ittekimassu” I said to my grandparents and went inside my car. I was about to go to my new workplace. My phone started to ring, it was my mom. 

“Moshimosh~?” I sighed “Okaasan I need to get to work. Can we talk later?” 

“Are you sure you are Ok there sweetheart?” 

“Yes mom, I am perfectly fine. Bye now. OK? I am driving right now. Bye, I love you~” I said and hung up. My mom was not used to being away from me. 

When I arrived to work the staff greeted me with a smile. They either did not realize who I was or just didn’t care. I didn’t really care about the answer for I was happy as long as they accepted me. They put me in charge of a Kansai jr. band named B.A.D. and a few million other juniors. Okay I exagrated not a million, just a few. They were all nice, funny kids so I would not have problems with them. This place was filled with bunch of kids running around singing and practicing their dance moves so it was never quiet. Which was good for me. Since whenever it becomes quiet I start to think of him...Their noises allowed me to keep my mind blank and concentrate on my job. 

It was during lunch when my phone started to ring, again. 

“moshi moshi?” 

“Buse-chan how are you? This is Maki.” 

“I know. I have your number Maki-chan. So what’s up?” 

“Ano... When he came back he started to ask where you were. Then Amaya-san said that you resigned. You should have seen his face, then you would not leave. He looked so... so-“ 

“Maki-chan please”I cut her off, “If you are going to talk about him then don’t. I did this for him; for his sake. Do you think I am happy here?” 

“I know but Buse-chan if you could listen-“ 

“Oh, they are calling for me. I gotta go fix these jrs’make-ups. Bye” I said and hung up. Knowing about how devastated he was did not make things any better. This was the best and one day they would understand. 
The next day there was a huge clamour going around the place because the guests for the shounen club were Kanjani8. The band that I was assigned with,B.A.D, were going to appear on it. 

When they arrived to the place I was assigned to Maruyama-san from Kanjani8,too.. He was easy to work with and talkative,too which made things easier for me. The only problem was that he was too hyper so I had to scold him the way I did the newbie juniors in order for him to stay still. Haha... Kanjani8’s every member was here except for Ryo because he was with NewS at the moment. Yes, unnecessary information’s like these kept me away from thinking about him. 

The show had started so everyone around here who did not have anything else to do either went out for lunch or started to watch the show. I did not want to watch the show so I the small TV at the backstage. To my despair I saw him on the TV. They were showing some interview of Arashi. He looked professional as usual but whenever the camera was not focused on him I could see the gloomy aura he had. I should stop watching this and torturing myself I thought but I just couldn’t. 

Appereantly others realized this as well so the mc asked him if he was sick or something. Aiba being the baka himself said “Yes, he is love sick ne~” I wanted to shut him up but Nino covered up Aiba’s mistake pretty well while Sho remained quiet the whole time. 

I hated myself for doing this to him and to myself. But this was for the best, right? İt had to be... I did not know what was right or wrong anymore... I started to cry again.I tried to stop the tears, to wipe them away but it was no use. There wasn’t anyone around so it should be fine right? 

“Hahaha, dude that’s why you called me? You really are something-“ Maruyama said as he enterted the place but stopped talking when he spotted me. Yabai! 

“I am in the middle of filming so I will talk to you later Ok? Bye” He said and hung up. 
I turned away from him and wiped my tears. *Sniff*Sniff* 

“Anou Buse-san? That’s your name right? Daijoubu deska?” He asked. 

“Hai. I am fine. Umm... something got in my eye.. and... umm...yeah...” What was I saying? 

“Okay if you say so but are you really OK?” He asked, the hyper guy before was gone as he sat down beside me. 

“I am fine, thanks for asking though...” 

“You still have that frown on your face. Hmm... I will make you laugh ok?” He said. Then he said a stupid pun with a stupid expression which made me crack up. It was hard not to laugh at his jokes. 

“Yatta! Mission accomplished. I need to go back so don’t start to cry again Ok?” He said with a bright smile. 

“Yes, sir!” I said with a laugh. I was really embrassed because this was the first time that someone other than my mom had seen my crying. But It was good that he was around to make me happy. 

2 months’ Later 

It was nearly the new years. I was really happy because I was about to see my parents for the New Years’ Eve. My parents’ and I had always spent this holiday together at my Grandparents’ house. I went to work happily, thinking that I was going to be off during the break however I was wrong. 

“You need to go to the Johnny’s Countdown in Tokyo with Nakayama Yuma.” 

“Eh, nande?” I asked my manager. 

“Because they are planning to debut him so he will be at Tokyo for the Countdown.” 

“Whose bright idea was this? And why should I go, can’t Aya-san go or something?” 

“This bright idea was Johnny-san’s of course. And he specifically asked for you to come since you are talented and they will be needing all the help they can over there. Aya-san’s mother had a surgery so she has to stay at the hospital with her mom so you need to go.” 

"Demo...” I tried to oppose but I could not find anything. “Hai, I will go. “ I told her. 

When I told my parents about the news they were mad. Especially my mom. “How can you miss the family holiday” She said to me. But I had to; my parents were coming to Osaka and I was moving back to Tokyo for the holidays. 

When I arrived to Tokyo, I went straight to my parents’ house. I had emptied my apartment so I had to stay there for a few days. When I entered my room I felt very nostalgic and sad. Because everything reminded me of him. My walls were filled with Arashi posters. 

What was I supposed to do tomorrow? Talk to him, or ignore him. I really did not know what was right or what was wrong anymore... 

---

BONUS: 

Chapter 16~ Sho’s POV 

When Buse told me that she needed to talk to me, I knew what was coming next but I did not want to accept it. However she said the words anyways. She wanted to break up. I wanted to tell her that the news meant nothing but she would not listen. Of course not. She was headstrong; she always did what she thought was right without listening to others. Maybe that’s what made me love her so much... However I wanted her to listen to me and try to understand that I did not care about the consequences as long as we were together. 

She left anyways. I was devastated. When I went back to the place I saw Amaya-san but could not spot her. When I asked her where Buse was she said “Buse-chan resigned Sho-kun. She did not want to destroy your career.” 

This is so stupid. I could explain things to Johnny-san. He would understand and maybe even help to cover things up. Ugh! Why did she had to do things her own way... I had to talk to her. I went to her apartment the next day and found out that she had moved out. Where did she go to? I tried calling her but she did not answer my calls either. This was not good. But I gave up. If she did not want me; if she didn’t love me then there was nothing that I could do. I couldn’t force her. 

Out of all the girls that I had dated she was the first one that I truly cared for. There was something about her that I just couldn’t stay away from. I had to stop thinking about her anf focus on my career. That’s what she wanted anyways. 

A few days later~ 

We were being interview for a program. Normally I loved these things but today I just could not focus. 

“He is lovesick ne~” Aiba-chan said. Eh is he talking about me? That baka. 

“Yes he is sick but not lovesick, that’s called homesick. He misses his mom.” 

“Eh, I do not. And I am not sick haha.” I said. What the hell. I would expect something better from Nino. Ohno was about to fall asleep again so the interviewer stopped focusing on me and started to mess with riida. 

They all tried to cheer me up so I looked happy around them but I was sad deep inside.This was not good. I had to do something to block her face out. I decided to work more and more. I was going to accept any offer that I recieve so that I would not have any free time to think about her...