Pairing: KrisYeol
Genre: romance, drama
Author: xfivetaefung (asianfanfics), exokriswu (livejournal)
Summary: Kris had been loving Chanyeol for a long time now, but decided to just keep it to himself. Now seeing him dating another guy, he felt jealous and insecure. Will he have the courage to say what his heart feels but couldn't say?
A/N: this is so out of my writing style, I'm more on comedy so yeah... I don't know if this will give you the "feels" :) and this is my first fic, forgive me for future reasons.. :))

PART I




 

     Sitting alone in the dark corner of a restaurant, a spying Kris couldn't help but heave a deep and long sigh as he watched Chanyeol laugh and giggle with another man. He couldn't believe that Chanyeol, his childhood friend, his best friend, his partner-in-crime, and most especially his everything, was flirting with Byun Baekhyun, the playboy that leaves everyone's heart shattered and broken into pieces.

     What has gotten into his mind? Does he want a heart break? Kris continuously asked himself as he grind his teeth in jealousy and annoyance. He didn't know too why he was there, spying like a jealous boyfriend after he heard the news from his friend Tao that Chanyeol's about to have a date with this playboy, Byun Baekhyun. Logically, he could just wait for Chanyeol to be back and interrogate him. But no, he must be a masochist as he just found himself secretly following them in this romantic place. Kris felt a strange and sudden tinge of pain in his heart as he saw Baekhyun wiping the sides of his Chanyeol's mouth with a tissue.

     His Chanyeol? Since when? And will be when? Kris bitterly thought and smiled with no life. He lifted his orange juice and sipped and looked away from the two. He focused his eyes outside the glass wall, where the busy night life of the streets could be seen. Pathetic at how he wished it was him and Chanyeol walking hand in hand when he saw a couple passing by, looking lovingly at each other. He forced himself a smile as he imagined that scenario in his mind. But then again, Baekhyun's face would constantly appear in his mind, ruining his perfectly delusional state.

     'To illusion is the only thing I can do, why do you even have to ruin it, Baekhyun?' He bitterly asked himself as if the guy could hear him.

     When he turned his gaze back at the two (or should he address them as 'couple'?) his eyes widened, a loud gasp escaped his mouth, and he stiffened in his place as he saw their now vacant seats. Where could they have gone now? He was about to stand up and prepare himself on finding them when suddenly, his phone vibrated, signalling that he received a text message. He quietly opened and read the message.

KRIS WUFAN! HOW ARE YOU THERE? WHOA, I NEVER IMAGINED THIS DATE TO BE FUN. NOW WE'RE HEADING TO LOTTE WORLD, THIS WILL BE FUN! I HOPE YOU'LL ENJOY THE DAY EVEN WITHOUT ME, OK? HEHE PEACE! BEST FRIEND :) 

     Reading the last word of the message, Kris wanted to run on his bed right away and wallow his eyes in tears. Best friend. That's what he'll always be to him. Nothing more, nothing less. What's the sense of having a confession when you know in the first place that you'll just be rejected? Better just keep it to himself...

     Realizing that there's no more reason for him to continue spying, Kris decided to go home. He looked happy, they look good together, he can make him smile... Why be scared with that? He should be happy that finally, someone's gonna make Chanyeol happy aside from him.

     'Liar,' The other side of his mind said. 'You're clearly jealous, and you want to be the only one to make him happy. Stop being a hypocrite!'

     'That's selfishness. Yes, I want that, but someone can also give him happiness; twice or thrice more than I can give him...' He continued to battle with his mind until he reached home and locked himself in his room to wallow in pain and loneliness.

~

     "KRIS!!!!! Wake up!!! You need to hear everything about my date!!!" Chanyeol exclaimed as he smacked Kris' face continuously with a pillow. Kris had a hard time opening his eyes as they felt so sore for so much crying. Good thing, being a chinese with chinky eyes can hide the evidence that he cried. He knows his eyes won't look too obvious from crying.

     "Hey, Yeollie, stop it hurts!" Kris responded as he grabbed the pillow that Chanyeol used to hit him and grabbed his arm and pulled him onto his bed, making Chanyeol lie beside him. With a sore and sleepy eyes, he eyed Chanyeol and noticed a different glow on his face, the glow that was new to him. A glow that brought different feelings in his heart. 

     Happiness, that finally, Chanyeol found the one that can make him happy. Sadness and regret, as to why it wasn't him who can give him that same happiness. And pain... Knowing that he already lost him. Lost him, not that he was gone entirely, but lost his chance to be with him. He lost him, he lost his chance to be with him, he lost his chance to show how much he loves him, he lost his love...

     "Kris Wufan! Why do your eyes seem different today? I can't point it out but there's something really different," Chanyeol asked that made Kris brought his sanity back. He stared at Chanyeol whose fingers were tapping on his chin with a cute expression on his face.

     "T-they are? Maybe because I just woke up. Remember, you disturbed my sleep, right?" He answered as he forced himself a laugh. No, he shouldn't show Chanyeol his sadness. He should show his support and blessing, so Chanyeol won't feel anything bad and will just live happily together with the guy he loves...

     It stung Kris so much just thinking about Chanyeol with another guy, but he couldn't do anything aside from accepting it and moving on. Remembering the reason why Chanyeol was here, he tried to wash away those thoughts by asking him. "You said you'll tell me about your date..." Kris started. Maybe he's really a masochist, but he just needed proofs of Chanyeol's new-found happiness so he, himself, can entirely move on. Though it hurts too much, he'll just bear with the pain to be able to accept that his first and only love can never be his anymore.

     Chanyeol's eyes sparkled, indicating the amount of joy he had. On the other hand, Kris bit his lip, preventing himself from tearing up. 'This will be a long and painful night...' Kris thought as Chanyeol started to talk.

     Two hours passed and it was already ten in the evening when Chanyeol was finally finished with his story. Finally,  not because his story was boring, but finally because he can finally rest his ears and heart from the pain of emotional torture which he, himself, was the culprit in the first place. He insisted on hearing it, so he should endure the pain it will cause. 

     Kris saw him yawn, so he offered him to sleep on his bed. It was their usual routine: letting each other sleep on their room when sleepiness attacked them. Chanyeol nodded and lied himself down, using Kris' arm as his pillow. Kris on the other hand did what he always do: he brushed Chanyeol's hair with his hands, making Chanyeol feel sleepier than he already was. Minutes passed and Kris observed that Chanyeol's breathing was already stable, signifying that he was already on his dreamland. He sighed as he watched him smile in his sleep. Was he the reason why you smile in your sleep?

     Kris saw his cellphone lighten from the table beside him. He carefully reached for it, not wanting to disturb Chanyeol in his sleep. He looked so serene and peaceful, it was as if Kris was born to give Chanyeol that peaceful feeling. He looked like a sleeping cherub and Kris wanted to kiss him right away, but he suppressed that selfish urge to do so. No, it was not right. He was not his, and won't ever be. With a heavy feeling, he read his text message. It was from Tao.

     Kris smiled after reading the message. The very first smile that he didn't forcedly made since he knew about Chanyeol and Baekhyun's relationship. That panda, what's the 'bbuing bbuing' for? Kris thought while carefully releasing Chanyeol's head from his arm. Chanyeol slurred in his sleep and gripped onto Kris' wrist. Was he still sleeping? Kris thought to himself. He stayed like that for a couple of seconds, observing Chanyeol. He was in deep sleep though. He successfully let go of Chanyeol's grip and was about to open the door when Chanyeol spoke in his sleep.

     "Kris Wufan, don't leave me okay..." It took him a couple of minutes before his mind absorbed what Chanyeol said. He was dreaming about him? Kris smiled and went back beside the bed, lovingly staring at Chanyeol. The light from the moon that emitted through the window gave justice to Chanyeol's undeniably perfect features: his pointy nose, his milky white skin, his pinkish cheeks, his slightly opened kissable red lips...

     "Don't worry, I won't ever leave you. But I think... It will be you who will leave me someday because... You already have him..." Kris said in a hoarse voice, then lowered his head, aiming his lips on Chanyeol's. He kissed him him for the first time, lightly and with full of love. If only Chanyeol was awake, the kiss was enough for him to realize how much he loves him. But sadly, even when he's awake, he won't ever tell. He already has that 'someone' in his life. And he doesn't intend to ruin their growing love. Before he started to tear up again, he decided to leave the room and quickened his steps. He carefully closed the door, not wanting to make any noise that will waken Chanyeol up.

     Kris saw Tao munching on some boiled peanuts, the food that they both love to eat at night. If Chanyeol was awake, he'll surely be happy eating some while throwing the shells on his face. Sometimes, I mean oftentimes, Kris will be the one cracking up the shells, then all Chanyeol will do was to eat, then throw the cracked shells on Kris' face til he got tired of laughing.

'     Chanyeol again,' Kris' mind told him. 'Yeah, he's an evitable part of my life that I can't live without. He's my water, I won't be able to survive life without him...'

     "Kris hyung! What took you so long?" Tao's excited voice interrupted his thoughts. Tao tapped the space beside him. Kris immediately took a sit on the picnic cloth. 

     "Don't tell me you're having a picnic at this time of the day?" Kris joked, eyes glued on the foods that Tao brought. Peanuts, chips, sodas, and 6 cans of...beers? "Why are there a beers?"

     Tao looked at the cans of alcohol before he bitterly chuckled. "I want to forget the pain for a while, hyung..." I furrowed my eyebrows. Pain? He's not telling him something, was he? "I-It hurts, hyung, to see the one you love loving someone else... To not be able to say how you feel..." Tao continued. 'We're just the same...' Kris' mind thought. Tao grabbed two cans and gave Kris one.

     "Who is it?" Kris finally asked, gulping the beer. He really didn't expect that Tao had been admiring, much more loving, someone lately. He was such a secretive guy. He might be just telling it to me now because he couldn't handle the pain anymore, too.

     Tao took a deep breath and stared onto the starry sky. "Baekhyun... Byun Baekhyun." Kris was stunned.

     "W-who?" Kris asked again. Was he drunk already? Or his ears were deceiving him? Did he really hear it right?

     "Aishh hyung! I said Byun Baekhyun, the guy that Chanyeol dates..." How could it be? Coincidence, huh? Kris bitterly smiled and tapped Tao's shoulder. "If they're happy then let them be. Let's not interfere..."

     Tao instantly looked at Kris' calm face. "Hyung?! How could you? You won't even try to..."

     "What's the use of trying when you already know you'll just lose in the end?" Kris cut Tao's words. "Just be happy for them. Don't be selfish..." Kris added, more likely convincing himself.

     "W-what if they were just waiting for someone to confess to them?" Tao insisted, not wanting to give up. Kris' eyebrows furrowed. "That's crazy." Was all he can say.

     "I know you love Chanyeol..." Tao suddenly blurted out, making Kris straighten his back. He then smiled. "Was I that obvious?"

     Tao stretched his arms upward, letting out a deep, long breath. "Yeah. Pretty obvious."

Next chapter would be the last part... Comments are appreciated :)