I felt my senses coming back to me. I wanted to sleep more but my mind is already wide awake, especially when I could smell his scent through the pillow I’m hugging. I turned around to find the other side of the bed empty, there’s nothing to be surprised of…it’s my fault anyway why he’s not here anymore.

 

 

The other week we had a major fight, and yes, I was the one who started it. It has always been me, and I admit that I’m often the crazy one while Ji is the calm and understanding type. But unlike before, when Ji would apologize and make-up with me even though I’m the one wrong, he didn’t coo me until my anger is gone or hug me until everything’s okay. He just grabbed his things and move out. I was too mad of course and pushed him away instead of stopping him. I was too stubborn and my pride won’t let me admit that I was wrong.

 

 

I was staring at my reflection in the mirror. I remember we would brush at the same time. I would bump on Ji and he would have his revenge until we end up playing in the bathroom. Right now, tears are running down my face. I look so silly brushing my teeth while crying my guts out. If not only for the toothbrush in my mouth I would’ve whined helplessly.

 

 

After I’m done with my mini drama in the bathroom, I prepared a quick breakfast for me. I’m going to meet my friends later at my…OUR…favorite coffee shop. I noticed how empty the feeling is when you’re eating alone. The seat beside me is no longer occupied. I’ll just pretend that everything will be back the way it was. Jiyong can’t stand me. I’m sure of it. He’s always like that. He’d be angry in one minute and the next he’d be back to his loving self.

 

 

But it’s been a week already…

 

 

What if he grew tired of me?

 

 

What if he stops caring?

 

 

What if he doesn’t love me anymore?

 

 

Then you’d be forever alone Park Sandara. Only he can cope up with your stubborn personality…

 

 

 

 

I found my friends outside the coffee shop. They already ordered something for themselves without even waiting for me. Hmpf…

 

 

 

“Why didn’t you wait for me before you order?” I said with a pout on my face.

 

 

“We’ll die of starvation if we wait for you. You’re 30 minutes late…see” Bom said while showing me her watch.

 

 

“Omo! I didn’t notice the time! Sorry…”

 

 

“Unnie could it be….you’re still distracted because of your break-up with Jiyong oppa?”

 

 

“Of course not Minji, besides, we didn’t really break up, we just sort of had a cool off…” I lied.

 

 

“Oh really huh? Then who’s the girl with oppa?” I followed where Chaerin is pointing at and I saw Jiyong talking to some girl.

 

 

 

I don’t know if it’s just pure coincidence or if the world just really wants to slap me and say to my face, ‘OH THERE’S THE GUY YOU LOVE TALKING TO ANOTHER GIRL. POOR YOU HE HAS SOMEONE NEW.’ I seriously want to slap someone right now. The girl is obviously acting cute to Jiyong. please, I’m the aegyo queen! She’s nothing compared to me! Aish. And this stupid Jiyong is paying attention to her. Oh he did not just give that girl a y smile?! Jiyong’s precious smile is for me and me ONLY! I want to freaking flip this table if only my friends are not here.

 

 

 

“Don’t know and don’t care…” I rolled my eyes. I pretended not to pay attention to them but I’m secretly glancing. Jiyong waved goodbye to the girl and headed to our direction. Oh no! Must act cool!

 

 

I suddenly snatched Bom’s drink and took a sip from it. “What the hell Dara?! That’s mine!”

 

 

“I’m thirsty already…” I gave her a puppy look that I know she couldn’t resist. And that he couldn’t resist also. I was secretly hoping that Jiyong noticed me.

 

 

“Aigoo then why don’t you just buy inside?”

 

 

 

My eyes automatically diverted to Jiyong who was heading inside the café. Our eyes met and once again I felt my heart beating so fast. I want to run to him and hug him. It’s been days since I felt his warm body close to mine. I already miss everything about him. I even miss the little mut, Gaho. But I don’t know how to talk to him. Apologizing is probably one of the hardest things to do for me. And I already told my friends that I’m perfectly fine. What would they think of me when I just suddenly cry and beg for Jiyong to come back to me?

 

 

 

“So that’s why you don’t want to go inside? You’re afraid to face him…” Jiyong smiled a little at me and averted his eyes. My eyes are still glued on the door even after he had entered the café. I was disappointed. When will he stop pretending that he doesn’t miss me?

 

 

“What?! No! I just don’t feel like getting up yet. And why would I be afraid of him?” another lie. Yes, I’m afraid to come face to face with him again. I’m afraid that he would reject me and totally break my heart.

 

 

A few minutes later, Jiyong came out. He didn’t spare a glance at me and just walked away. At this point, I’m close to accepting the fact that being back together is impossible for both of us. “I’ll just order inside…”

 

 

 

As I walk, nostalgia came to me. I looked at the corner where we used to stay at whenever we go here. Though we had most of our days here, I really didn’t mind because we were happy. The smell of coffee…it has always been my favorite because it reminds me of our moments together. Dara snap out of it! There’s no use to be sad over the past…

 

 

 

 “One mocha frappe please…” I said as I ordered my favorite from the counter. 

 

 

“Are you miss…Santokki?”

 

 

“Huh?....yes..?” How did he know my nickname? Only Jiyong calls me that…

 

 

“Here are your drinks, please come again” the cashier happily handed me two drinks, which I haven’t paid for yet.

 

 

“Excuse me? How…I mean..why? Is it buy-one-take-one coffee day today?”

 

 

He laughed at a little and shook his head, “No ma’am. There was a customer earlier who bought these. He said when a girl named ‘Santokki’ comes in I’ll give his orders to her…”

 

 

 

I was completely baffled by what’s happening. Could it be Jiyong? “What did he order?”

 

 

“Mocha frappe and Espresso…” And with that I quickly went out of the café, with the two drinks in my hand.

 

 

“Yah! Dara where are you going?!”

 

 

“I just remembered something!” I just remembered espresso is Ji’s favorite.

 

 

I ran to the direction where I saw Jiyong before. Good thing the drinks are tightly sealed or it would’ve spilled all over my hand from all the running I’m doing right now. I looked everywhere but I couldn’t see any signs of him.

 

 

Where is he?! Just when I’m ready to admit my mistakes, just when I’m ready to up my pride, why can’t I find him now? I’m running around, frantically looking for him everywhere. People are giving me weird look like I’m a patient who just escaped the mental hospital. But I don’t care. Right now all I could think of is Jiyong.

 

 

I’ve been running for how many minutes now, I swear I think all the fats in my body are already lost. I can’t call him because my phone is at my bag and I left it with the girls earlier. Damn! I already feel my feet aching. I sat on the stairs near the side walk. Why did he do this? Is he waiting for me? I turned around when I heard a couple of kids happily playing. I didn’t realize I was already in the park.

 

 

Of course he would be here! When Ji wants to relax he always goes to the coffee shop or the park. I gathered enough strength that was left of me and searched the park. And finally I saw him at the far end, sitting on a bench with an open book on his hands. I wasted no time and went to him. I was panting hard when I stopped before him. He noticed me and closed the book he’s reading.

 

 

 

“…So…sorry…”

 

 

“Ahh finally, my coffee is getting cold already…” he smiled at me like everything’s fine and took the espresso.

 

 

He took a drink from it and just stood there in front of me. He had this calm expression on his face but he was not looking at me. He didn’t utter a word anymore. My eyes were filled with uncertainty. I don’t know what to say to him.

 

 

“I…uhmm…” Damn it Dara! Say what you wanted to say!

 

 

I love you! I’m sorry for everything. Please come back to me!

 

 

“I have to go now…” he threw the espresso at the nearby trash can and turned his back away from me. Once again, he’s leaving me. It reminds me of the day he left my apartment, the day that I regretted. I realized that if I don’t speak now, I’m going to lose him again.

 

 

I caught his arm, “Sorry….I’m sorry Jiyong…I’m sorry for everything…I…” Tears fell from my eyes as I said those. I can’t continue what I’m saying because of my crying. I can’t hold back my emotions.

 

 

I was surprised when he suddenly cupped my cheeks and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. I looked at him and he was smiling at me again. That warm, gentle smile…

 

 

“I know…” he whispered before his lips sealed mine.