[Ara's POV] 

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There was no better way to describe it.

The way he pinned me to the wall and kissed me.

The poetic love he thought he was committing to wasn’t anything like how I received it.  

He so delicately touched me, wanting to bring desire to us both. That same touch felt like needles penetrating my skin.

We hadn’t done anything yet, but it felt like we’d done everything that two people could do.

And it made me shiver, it made me scared. The thought that we would do more than this frightened me.

I couldn’t do it right now.

Even though I started my journey as a puppet, I was still thinking I was at least good enough to be a doll.

It was too hard, for now.

It took strength but I showed a little neglection and gave his shoulder the slightest push.

Immediately, he stopped what he was doing and backed away. “Is it too early for you?”

I just nodded, my whole body was shaking, violently. I managed to look into his eyes. He felt guilty and hopeless. Like he’d taken candy from a kid, and already ate it before realizing how wrong it had been.

“I’m… I’m sorry Minhyuk, let’s wait until we get married.” My voice trembled and I was sweating. Like I’d just ran a marathon.

He looked down, almost ashamed. “No, I’m sorry. It was disrespectful.” He said.

I didn’t say anymore and walked to the bathroom. The bathroom was the one private place in this world.

The one place where I could maybe be myself.

The rest of the world was dangerous. There was no safe enough lock anywhere else.

I know every lock can be picked and broken, but you need to find at least the hardest one to break.

I washed the sweat off my face and stared at my reflection.

Until marriage is what I had said, but would I be able to violate the barrier that still held me and my twin sister apart by then?  

Who am I even now?

I wasn’t Lee Ara, I wasn’t myself anymore. I touched my reflection in the mirror. I was a cross between Lee Ara and Lee Minhee. I was just a soul left inbetween.

I couldn’t bring myself to accept the destiny of either of the two girls.

Did I really want to give my life up the way I had already decided to?

With my name on a death certificate, it felt like part of me had actually passed away with that body that wasn’t mine.

I didn’t want to be a shadow anymore, but now I was even worse.

I thought I would be better as a duplicate of the original. I didn’t have the same brand logo on me, but I could serve the same purpose.

But what good is a duplicate if it turns out to be defected? It already wasn’t as good as the original to start out with, and now more problems?

I needed to pull it together.