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Ink on the Page

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Dae Hyun sat down on the couch as Sae Jin sat on the table, but Dae Hyun refused to look at her, even as she prepared a treatment for the injury on his face. She reached up with a cotton ball of peroxide but he only flinched away from her. She took a deep breath and waited for him to turn back before she tried again.

Again Dae Hyun flinched away. “I don’t want it,” he commented, looking away from her.

“Why? You want a battle scar to prove how tough you are?” she asked.

“I was just trying to protect you!” Dae Hyun yelled, turning back to look at her. “But I can see that even you are stubborn with protection.” His voice was lower now as he stared at her, nodding his head softly before swallowing hard.

“Not even Yong Gook—”

“You hate the way he looks at you, the way he touches you, the way he makes you feel and I know it. You can’t even try to hide it; you can’t even tell me that it wasn’t worth it. I was trying to protect you, and all you want to do is scold me for it,” he retaliated, cutting her off.

She sighed in aggravation. “You know, Dae Hyun. Not everyone needs you to step in. Because when you do, you get hurt,” she yelled back. 

“I’d rather it be me than you!” he retorted, “I would rather suffer an eternity of pain, than watch you hurt for a minute.” But even after his words, he flinched away from her hand that rose to clean his wound. “I’ll do it,” he said, holding his hand out for the cotton ball.

“I caused it, I’ll do it,” she replied, pushing his hand down before attempting once again to clean his wound. He leaned forward, letting her dab the cotton against his face. It stung like hell, and he winced many times but endured it.

Sae Jin cut gauze in a little square, fitting it to his wound before gently taping it onto his face. She took the icepack into her hand and moved it to his cheek, but his hand cupped over hers. “I will do this, I need some time alone,” he said, his eyes avoiding hers as he held the icepack softly to his damaged cheek. She acquiesced, giving him control over the ice before standing from the table, taking the first aid kit back into the kitchen then headed upstairs.

Dae Hyun sat on the couch in his sweats, his free arm rested against his knee as he sighed loudly. What did he get himself into? Another harsh swallow pushed down his throat. Today was a turn for the worse and he knew it. Maybe he did make a mistake, maybe she’d realize his intentions, and that it was worth it to protect her. Maybe they were both affected by Yong Gook’s words, calling Dae Hyun ‘big brother’. 

Regardless, he needed this time to himself. But the more he sat there on the couch, the less he thought about what happened, and more about how she felt, how he could fix it and make it up to her. He thought about how he would act in the future, how she’d be affected by anything and everything he did. But mostly, he thought about how he actually felt about her, taking into consideration the way they both lashed out at Yong Gook at the mention of their soon-to-be sibling relationship.

There was no excuse. Dae Hyun didn’t see her as his little sister, he saw her as a woman he so clearly wanted to be with, but this wasn’t the first time he had come to this conclusion, obviously. It was just hard to hear the news after all the things that had happened. It was a painful reminder of their future.

“What am I going to do in the next couple of days?” he asked himself, “What are we going to do?” He shook his head, letting the icepack and his hand drop to his lap as he let out a deep sigh. Life was getting too complicated, and they both knew that Dae Hyun’s was already complicated to begin with. “Are we going to try and keep it a secret? Or are we just going to stop?”

Frustrated, Dae Hyun reached up and pulled the gauze off his face. He crumpled it tightly in his hand and pressed the cold icepack back against the wound. “I should never have started something I knew I couldn’t finish,” he admitted to himself, letting his eyes close at the thought of being an older brother to Sae Jin.  “What am I even doing? Wasting time I could be spending with her. We have less than two days left until things change.”

It didn’t seem to matter. Hours passed and Dae Hyun continued to sit on the couch in silence, absorbed in his own thoughts while Sae Jin was silent upstairs. He thought about what could be going through her head, but what was going through his head was a little overwhelming to be thinking about anything else. Afternoon came and went and it became apparent that Sae Jin was going to give Dae Hyun all the alone time he needed, but he had figured it ended a long time ago.

The sun began to set, the warm oranges and pinks illuminating the sky through the window and it glistened in Dae Hyun’s eyes when he looked towards it. Night was drawing near and he could feel something inside him bubbling, something trapped that needed to be let out.

He pushed himself up off the couch and headed up the stairs. He knocked quietly on Sae Jin’s door, calling her name a couple of times. “Sae Jin? Sae Jin, I gotta… we gotta talk. The whole thing is—” before he could finish, the door opened.

“Dress warm, we’re going out,” she said. Clad in dark clothes, she passed by him and he could only assume they were going somewhere in the dark and she didn’t want to be seen too easily. Dae Hyun, without a word, found his way to his room and changed quickly. He dressed himself equally as darkly and upon coming down the stairs, earned a very interesting look from Sae Jin.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Dae Hyun commented, his voice betraying concern and confusion while his eyes looked slightly intimidated.

Night had opened and the majority of the light emitted was from the houses around. Sae Jin opened the front door, letting a rush of cool air in as Dae Hyun was pulling on his shoes. He quickly followed behind her, down the cold street after she had closed the door behind them. He didn’t know where they were going; in fact, he wasn’t sure she even knew where she was going. But it seemed to her like it didn’t even matter.

Once they escaped the light of the neighborhoods and came across a different path the led away from the city, Dae Hyun felt something peculiar cross his hand. He looked down; Sae Jin’s hand shyly brushed up against his a couple more times before he grabbed it with confidence. He laced their fingers before whispering to her, “You don’t have to be afraid to hold my hand.”

The sound of other footsteps echoed down the path and Sae Jin quickly pulled Dae Hyun to the side, behind a wall where they were easily hidden in the dark. “What’s going on here?” Dae Hyun asked once the pair of footsteps seemed to vanish.

“When our parents get back, we need a place where we can be together where no one will see us,” she said, pulling on his hand to drag him back onto the path.

“Don’t you think it’s a little risky? What if someone did catch us? There’s no privacy out in the open space, Sae Jin,” he replied quickly, tearing a hole through her whole plan.

“I can’t give you up, Dae Hyun. This is your fault; you chose this life for yourself and for me. I can’t quit you, you’re so addicting,” she replied, whispering the last half as she felt herself being pushed up against the wall of another building. Dae Hyun’s body pinned her against it, his warmth radiating onto her body and she could feel his breath on her face.

“I can’t give you everything you need. I can’t give you the life you deserve, you and I both know that,” he retaliated, his voice low and deep as he spoke to her through gritted teeth, his body pressing her tighter to the wall behind. “I played my cards wrong. I’m no good for you; I can’t finish what I started—”

“I don’t care,” she whispered to him, “I don’t care if you can’t give me the perfect life. That’s never what I wanted from you.” His dark eyes stared into hers, his breath fanning over her face. His teeth clenched tight, that bubbling inside him growing stronger. His fingers touched gently under her chin, listening to her breath hitch slightly. Her eyes fluttered closed, leaving herself surrounded by Dae Hyun in every way that she could feel. 

Dae Hyun growled to her, his eyes watching her face. He wouldn’t let himself do anything until he heard the words. They needed to be spoken from her lips for adequate permission, though he seemed to completely disregard the feeling of shame earlier this morning.

“Please kiss me,” she whispered, her hands tightly gripping his shoulders. He pulled her legs up, bringing her higher before his tongue fell into , his lips on hers to kiss her with a burning passion. The bubbling inside him was overflowing as his body began to get hot. He could feel it, his eyes clenching tighter, his hands looking for something to grip as they searched her sides, his lips tingled as his tongue softly caressed hers. Her hands tugged at his hair, pulling him closer. Needless to say, the kiss was steamy, and Dae Hyun was quickly losing control.

His lips pulled away from hers reluctantly, latching against her neck. He feathered kisses up and down the slender column, eliciting a sweet and soft sigh from the female’s lips. Dae Hyun growled, pushing his pelvis into her hips and swallowed a low mewl of hers as their lips reconnected.

It wasn’t the most romantic or sensual setting, but as much as she couldn’t keep off Dae Hyun, he was the exact same about her. He bit lightly on her lip before pulling away, pushing his back up against the wall opposite of her. “I can’t do this. Not now, not yet,” he muttered, looking away from her in disgust of himself.

“Dae Hyun,” she whispered, reaching out to him.

“Don’t, please. We need to go back. We need to get home. You go first,” he said, his nails trying to tear into the brick wall behind him. Her soft hand cupped his cheek and his eyes closed as she kissed his temple. “Go, please, I’ll be close behind,” he practically begged.

The bubbling inside seemed to be burning, but calming as he distanced himself from her; what was this feeling exactly? He couldn’t place it, but he knew he couldn’t control it, at least not yet. The feeling of yearning, of burning desire, the incessant need to be around her, to be with her, to hold her, to kiss her—he almost couldn’t take it.

This is what scared him; he knew it would happen, and he had a little over a day to get it under control.