This diary entry was written after Jenny had a close look at her friend Leah and her boyfriend...

19 October 2011

Dear Diary,

Leah is my bestfriend, she has always been. For 6 long years she has stuck with me like glue, but now she has a boyfriend, Leon.

When we had one of our serious one on one girl talks, I asked her about Leon and how it feels to have a boyfriend. I've never had one and I wanted to know the experience firsthand. She told me that she and Leon were not just joking around, she was actually in love with him!!!!

I was so shocked. Leah isn't the romantic type, usually I am, so this was a big surprise. She told me that being in love is a warm fuzzy feeling. The other person always make you happy no matter what he/she does, as long as they're there. Leah told me that when she's with Leon, she feels safe because she knows he'll protect her and always accompany her. She says whenever they're not together, they miss each other like crazy and keep sending each other cute short texts like "Thinkin of u" or "Miss u 2 much".

Hearing Leah so happy makes me so happy too but at times I feel lonely. I feel like I've lost my bestfriend a little. When I hang around Leah, Leon is always around and I feel like the third wheel. Whenever I ask if she wants to hang out, she said she has a date with Leon or some other crap with that boy. But I guess i shouldn't be too angry, she's so happy, I shouldn't destroy that.

She did try to hook me up with someone last weekend. She told me to meet up and watch a movie together. I was so eager, we haven't hung out just the two of us in weeks. When I reached the cinema I was surprised to find that not only Leon but also Josh was going to join us. I SWEAR it was the most awkward double date in history. Josh and I definitely knew each other, we were pretty good friends and went to basically the same classes, but the setting of the event made it all so awkward. We watched a movie sitting next to each other while Leon and Leah snuggled together on our right. We exchanged a remark or two but the couple of lovers next to us urged us to do the same.

I DON'T LIKE JOSH!!! I LIKE JACOB!!!

I mean Josh is not ugly or weird but he's a friend, definitely not boyfriend material. Josh is sort of like my little brother, sometimes gets on my nerves and always good for a joke. After the movie we went to a restaurant 12 blocks away, it required us to walk pass the park, possibly the most romantic spot for a night stroll. Leon and Leah lead in front, hand in hand, talking on and on about everything. Josh and I kept our distance, the walk was possibly the weirdest part of the whole night. We didn't say a single word, he'd glance over once in a while and I would too, but not a word was said.

The night was so beautiful, the moon shone very brightly and it was Fall, kissing season. Oh I wished Leah set me up with Jacob instead of Josh, so we could walk hand in hand and I might possibly get a kiss T_T

Dinner was ok, I insisted that Leah sit next to me, and Leon in front me, to avoid eye contact with Josh. After that LOOONG uncomfortable silence from the cinema to the restaurant I feel sort of embarassed. I'm sure Leon must've made a crazy excuse to persuade him to come or maybe he even gave him money just to come and make me feel less of a third wheel. Well congratz, now I feel like a fourth wheel.

After dinner, I thanked them three and I directly went home on my own. Luckily Josh didn't offer to walk me home.

Truthfully if my parents found out I was on a double date, they would freak out. But on my defence, I didn't know it was a date in the first place. My parents are really strict on that kind of stuff. Well not my dad, more like my mom.

I really need to make my move on Jacob, it's unbearable to play hard to get. I stopped texting him and stopped eye contacts with him. He hasn't made his move either. I wish I could just give him a sign to make his move without looking too deperate.

Man...being a teen is tough, well see you soon diary, going to bed now.