He watched silently as she stepped out of the door with her luggage, not even bothering to bid him goodbye.  This time, it doesn’t even hurt anymore.

She have done this countless of times, not coming home for days and the day when she finally does, she packed her clothes and walk out of their house. He doesn’t even demand her explanation for leaving and he doesn’t try to stop her either.

He knows her pattern off by heart, and he knows her more than anyone in the world. He knows that in a few weeks she would come running back to him. All he has to do was just wait, wait and wait patiently until she changes her mind.

He was sure, in a few weeks time she would come back knocking in his front door, a knock so soft but always so audible in his ears. He would run and jerk the door open, to find her beautiful face filled with tears of regret. He would stand there and watches as her doe-like eyes looks everywhere but to his very own, and words of regrets came out of her perfect cherry lips. He would watch as she finishes her speech and slowly moved her gaze to meet his. He would greet her with his usual smile and she then would hug him and sob on his shoulder. He then would her hair and told her everything will be alright.

He knew her too well.

Why does he hold on to this belief he has on her? Because without this belief that she would come back, he would crumble at every other possibility. A chance that he wouldn’t even dare to imagine.

Many of his friends have always berated on how much of a fool he is for letting her do these things to him. For letting himself to be this weak when it comes to her. But they never knew why he never said no. Because he was too afraid to lose her. Too afraid to not be able to see her face when he wakes up, not be able to hear her voice calling his name, not be able to look into her crystal clear eyes and assure her that he loves her.

But this time, he doesn’t think he can stand all this anymore. For every time she left, she took a part of him with her, and when she’s back she never gave it back. Why does it have to be him that kept giving, and kept giving that he lost everything he owns, even his own dignity.

This time, he thinks that he is too tired to wait anymore.

Too tired of this deafening silence enveloping him,

Too tired to try and hear the beating sound of his own hollow heart,

Too tired of sitting and waiting in the living room for that soft, almost inaudible knock on his door,

Too tired of running and jerking the front door open at every single sound that resembles a knock on his door, to find no one.

He is finally too tired to keep waiting for her.

This time, he thinks that he is too tired to put up with her anymore.

Too tired to finally open the door and find her tears streaming down her eyes,

Too tired to hear her words of regret that he has heard too much streaming out of her lips,

Too tired of smiling at her, even when it breaks him inside because he knew that one day she would walk out of the house again.

He has finally grown too tired of trying to convince himself that everything would be just alright.

The day that soft knocks finally came on his door, he jerked it open to find her familiar image standing in front of the door. Tears streaming down her white complexion.

“Oppa…”

That word broke his defense. He was ready to tell her that he is tired of all this, so tired of waiting that it was finally time to let go, but those words get caught up in his throat as he watches her crumble down in front of him. Unknowingly, he fall into the habit he was so used to doing and before he knew it, she’s in his arms again, and he her hair and told her everything is going to be alright. Just like old times.

It’s a vicious neverending circle, and Jang Wooyoung knows that he would never be able to escape it, not even when he’s this tired of waiting for her, for her presence paid off every day he spent waiting for her.

And he knew, he would do the same if it were to happen again. Again, and again, and again, and again.

But somehow, deep down he feels that this time would be different.

Somehow.