It was strange really, considering the terror of his situation, how quickly Hyukjae felt able to adjust to his new life and surroundings. Alone in the suffocating darkness, the silence only punctuated by once-daily meals, so bland they were barely distinguishable from the dust on the floor and distant voices like the soundtrack of a dream, Hyukjae felt as if his entire life was on hold. He felt caught in limbo, unaging and unchanging, time no object in this strange place. 

After Donghae had first left, leaving Hyukjae still unsure as why he'd come in the first place, a few hours had been spent in flurried motion. Feeling the walls, hoping for any escape, counting the seconds and trying to keep track of time, brain working furiously trying to devise a solution to his imprisonment. None came and it wasn't long before he'd given up on all action. Who knew how long he had been there? Certainly not Hyukjae himself, it could've been days, weeks, months, even years... No, he considered, probably not so long. He barely even thought of his mother anymore. After all, it seemed unnecessary to bring up the mental pain when the physical wound on his head was healing.

It was Donghae who had insisted he have it cleaned with necessary medical attention - Hyukjae had vaguely heard his voice through the shifting veil of his fading consciousness and had briefly wondered why he cared.

In an odd way Donghae's visits, which he had initially feared, were becoming the only thing that had any sense of meaning, of anything in this strange half-life he was leading. Donghae's visits were the Sun, and Hyukjae drowned in the darkness between them. It was when Donghae was present, that he felt human again, like himself.

He wasn't sure what Donghae was searching for in the visits, what he got from them; he never seemed particularly purposeful nor probing. He was just... there, as if merely to conserve Hyukjae's sanity and talk with him, although never about anything important.

Upon hearing the sliding of bolts Hyukjae sat up, lifting his head to watch Donghae's daily approach. He tried to push his face into a relatively normal expression, his muscles protesting as he tried to smile, not wanting his friend to worry for him. Ha, friend? That was something he hadn't expected to discover here, but Donghae's friendship was what kept him sustained; if Donghae wasn't a friend then what was he? Hyukjae would not think of it, quelling his thoughts when he found himself wondering what Donghae's true purpose here was. After all he was one of them, and Hyukjae was not.

"Hyukjae, how are you feeling?" Donghae plonked himself down unceremoniously next to the blonde and turning to smile at him. His inhibitions had slowly disappeared through these visits, and he now felt comfortable in Hyukjae's presence, perhaps even appreciated it. This was dangerous, it made everything so much more difficult, and Donghae could not count the amount of hours he had spent lying awake between his cashmere sheets, staring at the painted ceiling and wondering if his 'abomination' friend was doing the same, and how he would ever be able to kill him. It surely wasn't possible - Donghae was not a killer and certainly not of innocent people. Hyukjae certainly felt innocent to him.

"I'm... ok. Been worse." Hyukjae's answer was honest; the wound on his head barely hurt any more and Donghae was beside him. Nonetheless he bit back the responses hanging on his tongue, I'm not ok nowhere near am I going to die Donghae? My back hurts from the stone floor and everytime you leave the darkness chokes me and comes in through my eyes and throat and the voices start screamingscreamingscreaming...

But no. He was normal around Donghae. Normal.

"Good." He smiled "How's your head?"

"Better." He tried to return the smile.

"That's good... good. Err..." Hyukjae could tell Donghae had something to say by the was he hesitated and played with his fingers, a habit Hyukjae noticed he had when he was nervous. Hyukjae froze, fearing whatever Donghae was going to say. He didn't need any seriousness from the brunette, just normality, smiles, nerves, occasional laughter, sadness, tears whatever, just not solemnity. 

"What you said on the first day..." Donghae was still hesitating over his words "About your parents being normal - not that I'm saying they're not!... weren't... Anyway what did you mean?"

"W-What are you getting at?" Hyukjae feared they were getting closer to Donghae's real purpose here, and he really did not want to know.

"Just... will you tell me about them?" In actual fact Donghae was desperate, hoping to find proof somewhere in his prisoner's words that Hyukjae's parents were not what his father had said and his friend did not have to be... destroyed.

"Why are you asking me this, Donghae?" Hyukjae's eyes were hard as they met his own, and he wanted to hold him, reassure him again that he was trying to help him, swear he would not hurt him. The only problem was, Donghae didn't know if he could promise that. He reached out to touch Hyukjae's shoulder; he no longer flinched at the contact.

"Please Hyuk, just trust me." And how could he not trust those eyes, and that nickname... Impossible.

"Fine." Hyukjae sighed and against his better judgement, spoke "Well err... We were never exactly rich, my family."

Donghae waited patiently for him to continue. "My Father used to work on the imperial council, he was an advisor or something when I was little... But he left and I don't know why - I was too young to ask or care. We moved further from the main town after that, my mother Cho Hee, my father and I, and we kept a low profile, like we were hiding..." He saw Donghae's face and regretted his words "Not that we had anything to hide from! Anyway... My parents were just quiet people, we minded our own business. They bought a farm and we lived simply. That's it."

Donghae bit his lip, "But I thought it was just you and your mother-"

"Yes! Fine ok?" Hyukjae did not want to talk about this.

Donghae jumped at his sudden raised voice

"Someone killed my father. Bloody murdered him and threw him in the docks, spineless cowards..." Hyukjae was angry at the dampness on his own cheeks, and more so at Donghae for noticing as he murmured his name and shifted closer, sounding worried.

"Hyukjae, I'm sorry. You don't have to..." 

"No, I'll finish." He was gripped with steely determination, if Donghae was going to make him tell this, then he'd at least tell him all he remembered "I don't know who killed him, or why anyone would want to. But my mother fell apart after that. She... she wasn't half of the person she was before. She was barely there in her own head a lot of the time."

Hyukjae was barely aware of the warm hand gripping his own icy fingers, nor the way he clung to it, like he has hanging from a cliff and one slip would result in a quick but undoubtedly spectacular demise.

"We still worked hard though, when we could. But all my mother would ever say to me was 'it wasn't his fault you know, jealousy can ruin lives' and I could only nod. I mean, I didn't have a clue in hell what she was on about, I still don't but it was best just to agree when she got like that. It was like she was trying to tell me something but I was too thick or unobservant to understand." The tears ran freely from his eyes, and in a way they felt almost cleansing; the water in his eyes and the hand in his linked him to the world and kept him adrift in that moment.

Unable to resist, chest aching, Donghae pulled the thin man to him, burying his face in his hair and feeling him tense under his hands unsure of whether he wanted this sympathy, this comfort. After a few moments Hyukjae's stiff shoulders relaxed and he clung to Donghae weeping softly. No words were spoken and the moment lasted both a few seconds and forever. Donghae became aware of how thin Hyukjae was, his shoulderblades like wings and previously strong arms weak and trembling. He felt anger at Hyukjae's state but also overwhelming sadness. He couldn't kill this man, surely, but what else could he do?

His Father's words of the previous night echoed in his mind as he had asked whether Hyukjae had yet suffered and repented enough to be freed, by which he meant murdered? No? Well why the hell not? Hurry up for god's sake - you're eighteen Donghae, a man! Can't you do anything? His father's anger was masked and cold, like the rest of his emotions.

Hyukjae was mumbling something against his neck, still quaking like a leaf caught on a branch in a fast flowing river. A snap and he would be lost to the rapids.

"She didn't deserve it Hae. Why did they kill her?"

Donghae just shook his head sadly, glad he did not have to look Hyukjae in the eyes as he spoke.

"I don't know." He mumbled into the others hair. Because she was an adulteress? Because she was evil? Seeing the way Hyukjae had spoke of her, Donghae found it difficult to believe that, coupled with the occasional sightings of her of his own in the village - a quiet woman, once beautiful eyes lost, as if she was not really seeing anything in front of her. Not exactly dangerous, so why was his friend treated like spawn of the devil? Donghae felt there was more to this than his father had told him, and more than Hyukjae knew. 

He would figure it out, he'd disobey his father if need be, and more than anything he would protect the slim man in his arms. If only he knew how.

They sat there for a long time, time as always incomprehendible in this small dark space, wrapped around each other and gleaning what comfort they could from each other's presence. For Donghae, the determination to somehow save his friend no matter how impossible it seemed. For Hyukjae, the other was just a reason to survive.

__________________________

It had been 2 months and 3 days since Hyukjae was captured and Donghae was stood frozen in his father's office in the early hours of the morning, ears straining for any sound in the dark house. Earlier Donghae had received another lecture from his father regarding simply his lack of torture towards Hyukjae. His father was becoming impatient with Donghae's lacking urge to destroy and the unavoidable had finally happened - a date had been set. Hyukjae was to be executed in 5 days, by Donghae's hand.

It was this which had spurred Donghae into motion; he would not even consider the possibility of killing his Hyukjae. Yes. Hyukjae was his, Donghae was keeping him alive; he was aware of the fact and it made him feel linked to the blonde unexplainably - it was both terrifying and thrilling and he needed Hyukjae now as much as the other needed him.

Donghae had been a wreck since his father's announcement, unable to focus on anything; his best friend Kyuhyun had even noticed, which was surprising as he wasn't the most perceptive person on Earth most of the time, especially when it came to emotions.

What Donghae was hoping to find he wasn't sure as he searched quickly through the drawers of his father's desk, ears pricked and heart thumping. Just something, anything that could help him. Even something that he could use against his father. He felt sick at the thought of blackmail but he was desperate. The fact that his father would not hesitate to have him killed, should the circumstances arise did not do much to relieve the frantic beating of his heart.

His fingers ghosted over hundreds of sheets of paper and he tried to scan each one by the light of the lamp clenched between his teeth lighting his progress, and giving him both hands free to work. Perhaps it was hopeless Donghae thought after searching for half an hour and disregarding yet another smarming letter from a council member. Just as Donghae was about to give up and conclude that whatever he'd been looking for was definitely not there, his fingernail caught on something.

Curiously Donghae pulled at the edge and suppressed a gasp as the entire bottom of the drawer lifted, revealing a few sheets of thin paper stored in the secret compartment. He pulled them out and laid them out on the desk, feeling momentarily disappointed to see they were more letters before something made him gasp.

He bent his head closer to the cramped writing he recognised as his fathers.

Cho Hee. The name jumped out at him, Hyukjae's mother? The letter was addressed to her, in fact they all were. Donghae scanned them quickly, his throat dry.

I'm sorry. 

Please see me again.

I need you.

You know I love you.

I'm so much better for you than him...

The words shocked Donghae, written in his father's script, and he thought of his own mother lying asleep upstairs.

The letters were embarrassing to read; revealing a side to his father that he had never seen before and making Donghae feel more than a little awkward. He wanted to hide them away, but a note scrawled at the bottom of the most recent one, sent 18 years ago caught his eye. 18 years? His father really liked to dwell.

I am returning your letters, I cannot keep them. I'm sorry but we have never had anything and never will - you know I am in love with someone else and I am now pregnant by him. I am truly sorry, please continue your life as if I never existed, one day I know you will meet someone beautiful and lose your infatuation with me.

Goodbye. Cho Hee.

It was short and abrupt and made Donghae wince. Pregnant? With Hyukjae his mind supplied the answer and realisation dawned upon him. Could it be true?

Would it not suit his father's personality to do something like this? Rejected by a woman he loved, to murder the one who had taken her away from him, the very woman who had caused him pain, and her remaining family in form of her son? All under the pretence of Donghae's 'initiation'. It seemed to Donghae that his father's bitterness had ruined at least 2 lives, letting them live in peace until they thought they were safe, then extinguishing their very existance. He did not want to believe his father was capable of this, but he knew that he was.

One thing he was sure of: Donghae would have no part in this. He would save Hyukjae if it cost him his life, he would have no damn part in ruining another life. Donghae and his mother had merely been replacements for how Donghae's father's world and family could've been, had he found his love returned by the woman he was infatuated with. Donghae was disgusted and  trembling, and somehow even more scared  than he had been before.

Feeling nauseous and just wanting to escape, he returned the office to it's previous state, hiding the letters away, and made his way quickly to the door, barely paying attention to his surroundings and stopping abruptly when he saw his father's figure shadowing the doorway.

For a moment Donghae actually thought he was going to throw up all over the soft pile carpet, his nerves destroyed. He resisted and just stared at his father. Illuminated from the back he could not see his eyes.

"Donghae."

He swallowed "Yes sir?"

"Leave my office."

Unable to do anything but nod, suppressed by the man's very presence Donghae stepped past him and towards the stairs.

"Donghae." The tone never changed, even and calm but with a lingering undercurrent of fury that struck fear into Donghae's very core. He did not turn around, just stopped in the middle of the corridor and nodded.

"It seems I have been too kind to you. You now have 2 days, then you will kill the lamb."

A lamb to slaughter, his Hyukjae.

Donghae could not answer and only walked silently away, fighting the raging storm of voices screaming in his head. You have to do something!You can't kill him!What are you doing?Fight Donghae Resist stopbeingsoweak!

But Donghae could only cry into his pillow, sleep never visiting him that night as Hyukjae's last day ticked onwards. He was terrified, and the pressure to do something was overwhelming. By morning when Sungmin came to wake him his pillow was drenched and he was already gone.

_______________________

To put it plainly, it really kicks off in the next chapter - perhaps it will be the last, who know? I'm thinking one or two more chapters :)

Please comment/sub if you enjoyed, thank you for reading