~Your POV~ 

"Why don't look like her? Why aren't you skinny like her? Why don't you stop eating unhealthy foods? Why aren't you pretty like her?"

Words like that have been haunting me my whole life. I've dressed differently. I've put makeup on. I've done so many things to be pretty.  I've worked out. I've decided to eat less. Yes, I know that eating less is not healthy, but it is the only way I could lose weight easier. When ever Kris or Tao would ask me if I wanted to go out to eat with them I would always say no because I was busy. They said okay and went on with out me. It would be like this for awhile. No one would notice. 

"We need to hang out," Kris said. 

"Why all of a sudden?" I asked. 

"I don't know. I just want to hang out with you. I miss having fun with you, Tao, Lay, and all them, he said. 

"When?" I asked. 

"Tomorrow?" he asked. 

"Sounds good to me," I said. 

After talking to Kris on the phone, I went to talk a shower. I stepped on the scale and it hasn't moved a bit. I looked at myself in the mirror and I poked at my fat stomach. I looked at myself in digust. I stepped in the shower and washed up. I hated the way I look. I hate people telling me that if I don't lose weight you will never have a boyfriend. Why couldn't I be pretty like my best friend? Why couldn't I be skinny like her? Why can't guys like me like they like her? I hate it. I never want to go out anymore. I went to sleep shortly after this. I woke up and got dressed to go to Kris's house. I knocked on the door, and Tao opened the door. 

"Hey," I said. 

"Hey hey," Tao said. 

" Hey," Lay said. 

"Can I come in?" I asked. 

"No," Tao said playfully. 

"Tao," I said. 

"Alright," he said laughing. 

I walked in and sat on the couch. It looked like we were just hanging out at Kris's house playing video games and all that. I noticed that Kris was missing. I looked around. 

"Where's Kris?" I asked. 

"He went to go get lunch," Xiumin said. 

"Lunch?" I asked. 

"Yeah, there's no food in his house because he eats it all," Lay said. 

"What is he buying?" I asked. 

"Pizza. I think," Lay said. 

"Yay," I said. 

"I'm back!" Kris said. 

He came inside with two or three boxes of pizza. Oh joy food. I should tell them that I ate before I came here or something. I should just make up something. I saw Kris go into the kitchen and come out with plates. Tao grabbed some drinks and came back. They started passing around the pizza and drinks. 

"Aren't you hungry?" Lay asked. 

"I ate before I came over," I lied. 

"That was like a while ago," Tao said. 

"Eat with us," Xiumin said. 

"I'm not hungry though," I said. 

"Make Kris happy," Lay said as he whispered in my ear. 

I took the smallest piece of pizza and took little bites. Kris smiled at me. I smiled shyly back. I slowly ate one piece of pizza. After the fun was over, everyone went home. I waited until everyone left before I left. Kris came and sat beside me. 

"Is something wrong?" he asked. 

"No, why? Does there look like something's wrong?" I asked. 

"Usually you would eat more than piece of pizza when you come over," he said. 

"I ate before I came here," I said. 

"Even when you do eat before you come over, you still eat more than one piece, he said. 

"Kris, I'm fine don't worry," I said as I kissed his cheek goodbye.

I left his house and went home. I stepped on the scale once again and it hasn't moved from where it began. I wish I could lose weight. I wish I could lose it fast. After a few days of staying home and not eating a lot, I stepped on the scale again. It went down one mark. Ugh! I need to lose more weight. I poked at my stomach and looked at myself in digust. Why do I have to be so fat? The girls Lay, Tao, Chen, Xiumin, and Luhun hang out with are beauties. They have flat stomachs. They have perfect bodies. Do they even have to try to look pretty? They look great in bathing suits while I just hide my body. I want to show off my amazing body that I don't have. Days upon days went by where I would eat less and less. I would make up excuses just not to eat. I started to notice that I was losing more weight. I was proud of myself.  I drank nothing, but water to stop me from being hungry. I was doing good. Kris called me to hang out with everyone. I grabbed a pair of sweats and a lose tee shirt and went to Kris's house. I felt great looking at how much I lost already. I rang the doorbell, and Chen opened the door. 

"Hey there," he said. 

"Are you guys always at Kris's house?" I asked. 

"Pretty much," he said. 

"Are you going to let me in?" I asked. 

"Oh yeah," he said playfully. 

I sat on the couch and watched Lay and Tao play the game. They were having fun. It looked like it was going to be a good day. 

"Did you lose weight?" Luhan asked. 

"I don't think so," I lied. 

"You look like you did," Xiumin said. 

"Is that a good thing?" I asked. 

"I don't know," Chen said. 

"Why are you wearing such bagging clothes?" Lay asked. 

"My mom was washing all my clothes and this all I had left," I said. 

"I'm back!" Kris said as he came through the door. 

"Yay!" Luhan said. 

I smiled at him brightly. He smiled back. He passed out the food and drinks. I only ate a few bites. I wasn't really hungry this time. I had a "big breakfast." I played some video games with the boys. Unitl it started to rain harder and harder. There was thunder and lightening. A few minutes later the lights went out, I held the closest person next to me. I don't know who it was.  Whoever it was was holding my hand tightly. I was really scared. Then the lights came back on, I looked at the person next to me. It was Xiumin. I let go of him and he let go of my hand too. Apparently he was scared too. I smiled at him. 

"Were you scared too?" I asked. 

"Just a little bit," he said. 

"I'm totally afraid of thunder and lightening," I said. 

"Really?" Tao asked. 

"How come you never told us?" Chen asked. 

"You never asked," I said. 

A little bit after, it stopped raining and everyone went home, but me. I stayed there for a little bit longer. I wasn't feeling so good. I was feeling dizzy. I tried to stand up and walk, but I couldn't see the floor proper. I took a step and fell over. I was on the floor. 

"Hana!" Kris yelled. 

I didn't answer. He came running to me. He slid across the floor and lifted me up a little. 

"Are you okay?" he asked. 

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said. 

"What happened?" he asked. 

"I don't know," I said. 

"You have to know. You are the one that fell, not me," he said. 

"I was getting dizzy," I said. 

"Dizzy?" he asked. 

"Yes, I couldn't see the floor properly," I said. 

"Something is wrong with you," he said. 

"No, there's not," I said. 

"I'm starting to worry about you," he said. 

"Don't worry sweetheart," I said smiling. 

"You never tell me what is wrong. You never told me that you are afraid of thunder and lightening," he said. 

"You never ask," I said. 

"I shouldn't have to ask. If something is bothering you, you should tell me, Lay, Tao, Xiumin, Chen or Luhan. You know that we are here for you," he said. 

"Kris, I'm fine," I said. 

"Hana," he said. 

"I should go home," I said. 

"Do you want me to take you home?" he asked. 

"Sure," I said. 

We walked home. I'm glad he walked me home because I wouldn't make to my house. I wonder why I feel this bad. I went to my bathroom and stepped on the scale. It was the same as the day before. I looked at myself in the mirror. I poked my non fat stomach and smiled. I'm happy now. A few more days and I was weighing less and less. I smiled at myself in the mirror. Kris called me again to see if I wanted to hang out. I said no because I wasn't feeling good. He said that they will come over. I really didn't want them to come over. I hid under the covers. They knocked on my door and came in. 

"Hana?" Tao asked. 

"Yes?"I said. 

"How are you feeling?" Kris asked. 

"Not so good," I said. 

"What's wrong?" Lay asked. 

"I don't know," I said. 

"Have you eaten yet?" Chen asked. 

"I ate something earlier," I said. 

"What did you eat?" Xiumin asked. 

"I ate some toast," I said. 

"And?" Luhan asked. 

"I drank like two or three cups of water," I said. 

"Is that it?" Kris asked. 

"Yeah, I wasn't hungry," I said. 

"Hana you have to eat," Lay said. 

"But I'm not hungry," I said. 

"Eat," Kris said sternly. 

"No!" I yelled. 

"Hana, please," Tao said. 

"We are worried about you," Chen said. 

"I'm fine," I said. 

"No, you are not," Xiumin said. 

"Yes, I am," I said. 

"When's the last time you actually ate a big meal or even more than one meal?" Tao asked. 

"The other day," I lied. 

"What did you eat?" Lay asked. 

"I piece of meat, mashed potatoes, and carrots," I said. 

"I am worried about you," Kris said.