The feeling I have while waiting for Minho hyung must be the same feeling people have when they are on trial and are to be put to death. That must be it. Really that must just be it.

Waiting for him is like waiting for my own demise. It’s really weird to talk about the person you like in such a dark way. But, that’s really just how I feel. I swallowed thickly, my throat closing up a bit more. God, it’s hard to breathe even before he’s here. At this rate I’m really going to die of suffocation.

Just thinking of him makes me so nervous I can’t breathe, I can’t even really think clearly at this point. I start getting cold sitting here on the front steps of the school, waiting for his car to drive up. My foot is tapping the ground impatiently at an alarming speed. I’m not even truly impatient, I’m just so nervous my foot keeps twitching and shaking around. People must think I’m some crazy kid on drugs. I sigh and fix my hair again.

As my hands slide through my locks of hair, I feel my phone vibrate. A text from Jonghyun hyung popped up.

"I'm at Onew hyung's house. Be straight forward today! Don't ask to hold his hand, just do it! It really works! FIGHTING!" I read quietly to myself. I couldn't help but smile widely at his excited text message. I did feel a bit more confident after reading the message too. I could hold Minho hyung's hand if I wanted to.

Sitting in the silence, I started thinking of the day I skipped school to be with him makes me feel like I’m going to throw up. I have to wonder if these feelings are normal or if they are even sane for that matter. But, as I watch Minho hyung’s car pull up in front of the school, I feel anything but sane. My mind is going crazy.  Everything is spinning. I can’t even move as I watch him roll down his window to his car.

“Taemin, Come on.” He just calls out my name so nonchalantly. He doesn’t even realize that he’s killing me with each of his words.

I walk to his car hurriedly. I can’t wait to be next to him again. However, I feel stupid walking so quickly to him. I’m just walking faster to my own turmoil. God, he was too much for me.

“How was school? Learn anything interesting?” He said with his smile plastered across his face. I try to speak clearly, but I get too nervous.

“Okay.” I mumble to him. I could help but yawn as I gazed out the window to avoid staring at him.

“Did you sleep much last night?” He said, noticing my tiredness. I shake my head slowly.

“You really need to sleep more. Staying up too late isn’t good for you.” He said casually. The way he was showing concern for me made my heart pick up its pace a little bit. I can barely breathe.

At this point I’m sure of two things. I’m sure that this is what people on death row feel like. I’m also sure I must have turned into a sadist at some point because I love every second of this.

I turn to look at my hyung and take in all of him. I watch as he drives lazily, one of his hands firmly on the wheel and the other resting by his side. His hand is open, his palm facing up. I gulp and think about holding that hand. I wonder how warm they would be. I wondered if our hands would mold together like all those love stories said they would.

Hyung's eye are still focused on the road. I lift my fingers one by one, inching them towards his open hand. Soon, my palm is sliding towards his, our skin is about to touch, when he lifts his hand back on to the wheel to aide his other in turning the wheel to the left. My frozen, lifted hand goes unnoticed. It slides back down to my lap. I wasn't sure if I was dissappointed or just plain defeated. Maybe a little of both.

Hyung doesn't even notice my dreary expression. I bet he thinks I'm just tired still. I slump down in my seat.

Another thing I have become sure of today, being straight forward will not make Minho hyung like me.

My house is by no means big. It’s a bit on the shabby side honestly. I’ve never lived in the nice side of town, but I’ve never lived in a home with less than 3 bedrooms. I’m in the middle of everything. I’m not big or small, rich or poor, alone or sociable. I guess you could call me a well-balanced individual.

I’ve never had many friends either. Not because no one tried to be my friend, I just didn’t want any. I was a bit of secluded person. I guess that’s why I’m a good person to be Jonghyun hyung’s friend. He doesn’t like many people either. We make a good pair. That’s why I like him so much.

“Hyung?” I whispered into the phone. Things like this are what I liked the best.

“You took a long time in the bathroom,” I heard him whine. I could hear his pout through the phone.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry~” I whispered back at him.

“Your dad is sleeping right now isn’t he?” He asked although he knew the answer.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll be quiet too. You saw him today didn’t you, that guy?” he asked. I knew he was going to tease me after I said yes.

“Yeah, he picked me up today.” Talking to him on the phone was the best. I always used to feel lonely at night before I knew Jonghyun hyung. Now, I always had someone to talk to – even when I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Jonghyun was a reliable friend. It helped that he was also somewhat of a puppy. He was loyal, always followed you around. I used to think that was the greatest thing in the world. But, it worries me now. I really hope hyung will never follow someone that will end up kicking him to the side. I guess, I don’t want him to be a dumb dog.

“saranngggg~~. I feel it! I know it. What are the chances that we both found our true loves in the same month?” He said. He was starting to ramble. I could hear him distantly talk more of fate and true love and our destinies. I couldn’t help but sigh at his silly thoughts. Hyung was such a hopeless romantic.

“Hyung.” I cut him off midsentence. He hummed in response.

“How’s your aunt?” I changed our subject.

“Oh. She’s great,” He said in that fake voice he uses to cover up his lies.

“How is she treating you?”

“Good.” He said simply. Another lie, they just gathered up. I sighed at them, knowing this same lies well. He always told them.

“You can tell me, hyung. You know you can. You can come stay here too if you want. My dad won’t notice at all,” I told him. It sounded more like a plea, a silent begging for him to run to me and just not ever go back to his aunt’s house ever again.

“Taemin-ah, stop saying things like that. What type of person will I be if I run away?” I guess that was the puppy loyalty in my hyung talking. This was him doing the thing I feared most for him.

“It would make you a smart person.”

He laughed at that. Only my hyung could laugh at me calling him stupid. I could help but laugh too.

"I really worry about you hyung," I said softly after our laughs stopped.

"You don't have to. I'm really okay," He siad. I couldn't tell if he was using his lying voice or not. I just didn't know.

"Hyung... really..." I whispered again. My voice losing strength. I couldn't stand being lied to. I hated it even more if I couldn't tell if it was a lie or the truth.

"I have to go. I think you need to go to sleep," he said swiftly. I heard a muffled good bye and then a dial tone.

This was the second time today that I was being dissappointed. I didn't think Jonghyun would make me feel this way too.

(A/N): Hello~.

Okay, so I really don't like this update that much just ebcause it seems kind of boring. But, I guess the point was to show a bit more of what Taemin's and Jonghyun's lives are like. Home lives I guess. I wanted to show how Taemin's mind works as well. This is roughly 1,120 words. I hope that is long enough. I should be updating again tomorrow or the day after. I want to update more while I have the chance. Do you guys really not like Jongyu? Jongyu is just... UNF. THE FEELS. OMG THE FEELS.

I really don't think Jongyu is real. But in my fantasy world of a fanboy, IT IS SO REAL AND ONEW AND JONGHYUN ARE IN LOVE FOR REAL OKAY IT IS JUST HOW THINGS ARE. I just think it would be cute if they were together. Think about it. A short dinopuppy and a dubu chicken eater. GOD THE FEELS. STAHP.

Thank you for reading and subscribing and things like that. I hope you comment and tell me what you think and also tell me what you really don't like and what you really do. I can't make it a good story if you don't tell me what you want in it~! Thankyou.♥

Ps. Next update will probably be a lot of 2min and then like a smal dose of jongyu.