“YAH! Lee Taemin! Why do you keep coming to this store?! We were supposed to have practice at 4:30 sharp!” the pretty boy nagged.

Lee Taemin… That name flashed through my mind. I suddenly got that annoying feeling when you know something but can’t exactly place it so it gets stuck on the tip of your tongue. The name seemed so familiar. Deciding probably more than a hundred Koreans had the name, Lee Taemin, I quickly brushed off the weird feeling.

I looked back at the pretty boy by the door. He was looking straight at hoodie guy. I felt hoodie guy’s arms and body stiffen around me. I guessed that he must be the Lee Taemin pretty boy was lecturing. We’re making quite a scene…Oh, god. People are staring…and taking pictures? Weird. Well, we did look pretty ridiculous.  

Hoodie guy whipped his head towards the door and then quickly looked back at me. When he whipped his head back, his hood fell to his shoulders and revealed really smooth hair and an even prettier face. If I thought half of his face was pretty, his whole profile was something else. Even with his face looking like he was a kid getting caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar, I couldn’t help but admire him. What is it with these flower boys? And what’s with me and these y thoughts!?

“You could have been kidnapped by a bunch of saesangs and none of us would have known where to find you! Who do you think you are?! When we get back to the dorm I swear… you don’t even read much! Why are we here?!”

“Key-hyung!!! Shhhhhhh! Please! You’re making things worse!” he tried to whisper but he was too shocked. He quickly scanned the room to see if anyone was disturbed. As his eyes scanned the room, they finally reached me. Who are these people? I scanned his face and met his eyes. I froze. I know those eyes.

"Tae...min...nie..." I whispered.

The picture of that boy calling out my name flashed in my head again. I closed my eyes to concentrate. This hasn’t happened since that time I woke up in the hospital. Shoot…the migraine’s coming…I feel it...Usually, I could handle it and hold it in or grab my pills but I didn’t have anymore. I was supposed to get my prescription filled yesterday. Shoot.

I looked back at the guy to ask him to put me down and met his eyes again. Bad idea… The moment my eyes landed on his the migraine burst through my head. 

I couldn’t hold in my whimpers because it hurt too much. Feeling panicked, I pushed on hoodie guy’s chest and fell right to the ground. Tears were falling down my eyes. Pain was shooting through my brain. I didn’t know what to do. I clutched my head and stayed on the ground.

“Hyung!!! Call for help!!! NOW!!!” I heard “Taemin” say. He quickly sat on the floor close to me. He pulled my shoulders up so I could face him properly. He pulled my hands away from my face. I could feel his hand tilt my face toward his. I opened my tearing eyes and looked at him.

“Who are you? Why is this happening to me? Please, make it stop.” I begged him. I didn’t know what else to do. My hands clutched his shirt hard. I was desperate.

He looked straight in my eyes and my hair. He was trying to calm me down. His eyes were filled with concern and understanding. I realized that he had the same expression Uncle had when he saw me on the hospital bed that day. As if he knew me. He held me close and whispered in my ear.

“Shhhh…I know…I get it…Just take a deep breath…Shhhh…” His voice was so reassuring. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. As the migraine faded away, I was starting to feel weak. And everything went dark.

______________________________________________________________________________ 

"Jinnie-ah!!! I told you not to run so fast! Are you hurt?"  The boy said.

“Fine! I’m fine!”  I laughed as I dusted myself off and continued walking.

The boy ran over to me and walked beside me. He looked at me. “I know you’re nervous about what the doctor said. Don’t worry. Just take a deep breath.” I guess he saw the worried look on my face or he wouldn’t have had to say it.

Just take a deep breath…

Just take a deep breath…

_______________________________________________________________________________

My eyes shot open. I slowly sat up and looked around. I was in my room, on the bed. I sighed. I had a tiny headache but it was nothing compared to that migraine. I looked at the lounge chair next to my bed, near the window. Mom was asleep with her head leaning against her arm. The sun was shining against her face. I smiled at the thought of her staying behind to take care of me. A couple of years after Uncle and Auntie adopted me I started calling Dad and Mom. I mean, they are the closest thing I have to parents. At least, the closest thing that I remember.

My throat felt a little dry so I tried to reach out for the glass of water on my night stand but my hand accidently bumped the books on the edge of my night stand. I winced when I realized what was about to happen. As a predicted, the books fell to the floor with a loud thud. I quickly spun my head towards Auntie. Her eyes twitched at the sound and slowly open. She squinted at the light from the windows and spun her head towards me.

“Hyojin! You’re awake!” she ran towards me and hugged me tightly. “Name?”

I laughed but answered her anyway. “Park Hyo Jin”

“Birthday?”

“June 30, 1994.”

“Age?”

“19.”

“My name?”

“Shin Hye Mi. Birthday, January 12, 1970. Age, 43. Calm down, Auntie. Nothing lost, nothing gained. I hope.” I grinned. Another symptom of my disorder was assumption of new information of a new identity to make up for anything forgotten. It’s scary really.

 “Gosh, do not scare me like that, Hyojin! I was so worried!”

Her eyes were close to tearing but I held her face and kissed her on the cheek. “I’m fine! Kwenchana! Thank you for worrying about me and taking care of me.” I smiled at her with a sincere smile. She pouted and held me close again. I heard her sigh. 

“Hyo Jin-ah, I don’t think you should work anymore. We can just hire someone else to replace you. Something might happen to you again.” She said.

“NO! Really! I’m fine! The bookstore… it’s important to me. Plus, it’s summer! I really need something to do on the weekdays.” I looked at her desperately.

 “Fine! but you’ll be taking shorter shifts and I’m hiring someone else to help you out.” She looked at me with concern. “Honey, I know the bookstore is important to you but your health is just as important to me. Please call me if you feel like having another episode and stop forgetting you pills.” She took my pill case off of the nightstand next to her and put it in my hands. It was filled with my prescription pills and some other capsules that I assumed was for pain.

I nodded slowly.

“Oh, and by the way. Your dad wants you to come to the hospital for a check-up as soon as possible. He wanted to be here when you woke up. Believe me. Two interns practically had to wrestle him down when he heard you fainted but he couldn’t leave work. Gosh, he must be worried sick. I haven’t called him since last night. Go on and take a bath and change. I’ll make you breakfast downstairs.”

I laughed as she left the room. Before I could get off the bed, mom popped her head back into my room. “Honey, use a wet towel and press it on your eyes gently. It’s a little red and swollen from all that crying you did yesterday.”

“Eeeppp!” I touched the sides of my eyes and felt the soreness. “I must’ve looked like such a baby yesterday!”

“Why? Did you want to impress one of those gorgeous young men?”

“Young men? What are you…?” and then I remembered. “Oh shoot! No way!”

Now, it who was laughing was mom who was laughing while walking away from my room.

I groaned and slowly got out of my bed. The door to my bathroom was inside my walk-in closet so I put on my slippers and dragged my feet there. My head still felt drowsy so I was being careful not to make any sudden movements. Even my knees still felt weak so I leaned on the wall in my closet. My mind started to drift. I tried to remember what happened yesterday.

Those guys…they were so pretty…I’m kinda jealous hehe… Wait. Hyo Jin, snap out of it. Things happened yesterday that are much more important than your stupid jealousy for their good looks. Sigh. What happened to me back there? Why did that guy seem so familiar? What happened after I passed out? Errrr…I hate questions! My life is too flooded with them already!

“God, why?” I sighed and closed my eyes for a while. I opened them, got up and walked to over to the desk with my iPod and speakers on it. I never updated the music on my iPod. Whatever music my 12 year old self was the only music I knew. Well those and the music mom and dad listen to in the car. I memorized every song and every beat. My psychologist always hoped that one of the songs would help my memories come back. I turned up the music and sang my way to the shower, hoping the shower and the music would wash away the headache and help me forget the questions.

After I took a long shower, I felt amazing. Relaxed and everything. And then I remembered I had another check-up in the hospital. I pouted a little and reluctantly changed into comfortable clothes.

My clothes:

I looked at my watch and realized it took me an hour to get ready. I was already extremely late.

I ran down the stairs and ran into the kitchen. Mom was frying bacon and it smelled amazing. My eyes sparkled when I saw the plate of bacon and eggs on the table. I checked my watch and ran to the table. I stuffed my face with food and choked on some bacon. I grabbed the cup of juice and drank it desperately. I heard Mom giggling near the stove.

“M..om, it’s not funny!!!” I pouted.

“Well, you didn’t have to hurry. The driver is here to bring you to the hospital. Don’t worry. Your dad is also a busy man. He’ll find something else to do while waiting for you.” She smiled at me.

“Oh! Thank god!” I slowly drank my juice and ate some more. When I was finished, I brought my plate to the sink, rinsed them, and placed them in the dishwasher. I washed my hands and dried them. I ran across the kitchen and kissed Mom on the cheek and ran.

“Bye bye, mom!” I smiled and waved good bye.

As ran out the door, I called out for the driver. He wasn’t really our driver though. Shinhwa-oppa was an intern for Dad but he doesn’t really earn anything from being an intern so he works for Dad part-time to earn some cash. He was still studying at Seoul Medical University too. It's a wonder how has time to do anything for himself with that kind of schedule.

“OPPA!!!!!!” I yelled.

“Hyo Jin-ah!!!!” He laughed. He was sitting on the door steps, playing with the car keys when I opened the front door. I stood behind him and put my hands on his shoulders. He looked up when he heard me. “You okay now?”

I smiled brightly and nodded. I ran to the car. “Come on! Dad’s gonna be so mad!”

He laughed and walked to the car. “Ready?”

“Come on! Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!” I yelled from the front seat.

_____________________________________________________________

Shinhwa-oppa:

The car:

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_____________________________________________________________

“Thanks, Oppa!” I smiled brightly as I closed the door of the car. He nodded and smiled back.

“Call me if you need a ride home!” he waved and drove away.

I ran to the entrance of the hospital and saw Dad in the lobby talking to a nurse. I ran up to him and waved.

“Hyojin-ah! How are you feeling? Oh, my poor baby!” he hugged me tightly. I tried pushing him away because he was being all embarrassing. “Dad, stop. I’m fine!”

He just laughed and nodded. “Come. Let’s go to my office.” He pushed me towards his office. I ran ahead of him and went straight to the couch in his office. I jumped on the couch and waited for him to come through the door. When he came in, he closed the door and sat on the armchair next to me. “Your treatment was rescheduled so we still have time to talk.”

“Dad, what happened yesterday? How’d I end up at home?”

“Hmmm…an old friend who’s also a regular at the bookstore called me and told me what happened. My first instinct was to run over there but I had a patient scheduled to go into surgery yesterday so I had to stay. So I called Shinhwa to pick you up. It was a good thing he was out shopping with your mom. They both came to the bookstore to pick you up. After I called them, I called back my friend at the bookstore he told me you calmed done and you were already passed out.”

“He didn’t say anything else?” What happened to those two guys? Maybe I should’ve asked Shinhwa-oppa instead.

“No. When you calmed down, my friend had to leave. Why?”

“Nothing…Don’t worry about it…” I frowned a bit and slouched into the couch.

Dad kept quiet for awhile. He looked at me and smirked.

“If you’re wondering what happened to those boys from yesterday, your mom knows more about that than me. She was talking about it non-stop yesterday.” He laughed and got up from his chair.

“Dad!!!”

He laughed harder and went back to his paperwork.

“I wasn’t thinking about them…” I denied quietly.

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