"Cut!" The director screamed. "CUT, CUT, CUT. Heechul, what was that?"

I casually strode next to him. His eyes followed where I went, which slightly annoyed me. I mean, I know I'm quite the beautiful human being, but nobody likes to be stared at. "What was what?" I asked nonchalantly, raising the can to my lips while staring at him with an arched eyebrow. Sluurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp. "Why are you yelling?"

"Because that dancing was horrid!" He threw his hands up. "No Other is supposed to be an energetic, romantic music video!"

"My jugular hurts," I whined, bumping him from his chair and taking his place. "Can I have a break?"

"W-What? Heechul, your jugular-. . .No, you know what, let's just film another scene. It's really easy." He snatched a piece of cloth from the nearest table and flew it at me. It flopped to the right of me, for I made no attempt to catch it.

Slurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp.

"Can you please stop-" slurrrrrrrrrrrrp "-that?" he pleaded, placing his hands over his ears.

"Stop-" slurrrrrrrrrrp "-what?" I live for these moments. 

"Put the goddamn shirt on," he snapped.

I snatched the shirt off the ground, proceeding to glare at him as he did so. Do you know how much time and energy this takes up? And how many wrinkles I could get from bending over? You know, I always thought being a kpop star would be easy, but it's not. Everything requires effort. And these people are just so needy.

I pushed the door that led to my dressing room. As I was crossing the room, though, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

"Oh, Kim Heechul," I purred. "Why can't everyone be as perfect as you? Why? Oh, that's right." I made a flippant movement. "I'm Kim Heechul, the one and only. Isn't that right? Of course it is, Heechul."

I'm not sure how long I was cooing at myself in the mirror, but I remember the director knocking very annoyingly at my door. "KIM HEECHUL! Hurry the hell up!"

Jesus! "Alright, I'm coming!" I seethed.

I stepped out of the door, pushing past the angry figure and marching myself over to the set. I plopped myself in front of the camera with an attitude. "What do you want me to do?"

"All you have to do is take this card and hold it out to the camera."

I made a disgusted face. "I have to lift my arms?"

"Yes. And smile as if it's someone special."

Someone....

special....

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I clutched my stomach. "That was the best joke you've ever made!" I howled and fell to my knees, screaming with laughter.

"...I wasn't kidding."

I straightened my back. "Wait, you're serious?"

"Um, yes. Don't you have any friends? A girlfriend, perhaps?"

I burst into laughter again. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA-" I quickly regained my composure and stared at him with a straight face. "-no."

"A-a-" he stared at me as if he hadn't seen anyone quite like me. "Just...here." He held out the card. "Hold this out and smile."

"Arasso." I took the card lazily. The director ran back, away from the camera's point of view. The area that held the staff grew dark, leaving the only bright lights on my side of the set. I swear, they took forever. It was about an eon before they finally yelled, "Alright! Quiet on the set! Ready?" 

I bobbed my head up and down without thinking.

"3...2..." I fixed my gaze on the camera and started smiling very slightly.

"...1!"

I held the card out, trying to think of something that would make me smile. Hmm, Kyuhyun falling down the stairs today?

Nah, he didn't think it was very funny when I laughed.

Shindong as Hyuna? Psh, no, that just kind of scarred me.

"SMILE!" said the director.

I focused upon the lens, seeing my reflection. My perfect face, my perfect hair...I see myself! A warm sensation spread across my cheekbones, and I, Kim Heechul, began to smile. The only thing I could see in the world was myself. Everything became invalid. When did I become so beautiful...

"Heechul, Heechul! We're clear!"

You, Kim Heechul, are a y beast. I don't know anyone as perfect as you.

"What's he doing?"

"Oh dear, not again. Can someone put on the lens cap?"