Final
Unlikely
You're smiling. You're smiling that ever so bright smile. For some reason, it never fails to take my breath away. Somehow, you bring out the soft side of GDragon. It brings out the Kwon Jiyong I've been trying so hard to hide from the public's eyes.
"Jiyong?"
Seunghyun hyung's voice brought me back to reality.
"Lost in Seungri land again?" He let out a low chuckle. "Shut up, hyung."
Everyone knows. Funny, although not surprising, how Seungri was the only one who was still clueless.
I like Seungri. I like how he was so annoying sometimes but you couldn't blame him cause he was so innocent at the same time. I like how he was so naive and ignorant. I like how he was so confident on stage but so humble off cam. I like how the dark circles around his eyes doesn't change the fact that he was so handsome. I like the way his voice sounds when he calls me hyung. I like how he's so perfect. To me, he is. I like him.
Love? Unlikely.
"Hyung!" There it is. That cute voice that I can never get enough of.
"Yes, Seungri?"
That's it. That's when I began to question my feelings. Because I found myself standing a little too close, staring a little too long, getting a little too protective. And without warning, I found myself falling a little deeper, a whole lot faster.
"Jiyong hyung! Can you help me out?" There it is. Those beautiful eyes that seem to see right through me.
"Sure, Ri."
--
Things had just turned insanely confusing by now. If anyone could change me, into someone else, someone better, it would be you. You, Lee Seungri. You found a way to completely alter my perspective on life, on reality, on love. I started believing in something I ignored for nearly half of my life.
Youngbae noticed. How I would so often sneak a glance at you during interviews. And he'd just look at me and laugh. Cause he knew.
Daesung saw. He saw how I'd always try to stay closer to you during performances. And he'll just shake his head and smile. Cause he knew too.
Seunghyun hyung? He was the first one to find out. He caught me once, when I was supposed to be listening to Daesung recording his parts of the album, but I was watching you instead. And he just gave me a knowing look and his famous smirk. Cause he knew as well.
They all knew. Thew learned that what I once deemed unlikely had long ago changed.
I don't like you anymore, Seungri.
"Hi, Hyung."
I love you.
I won't say that it was easy to admit. It was hard, Seungri. My head was going againts me. It was telling me that love was still unlikely. But my heart. It was fighting, arguing, rebelling over everything I used to believe in. I felt great when I listened to my heart. I acnowledged how much my heart made more sense than my brain. I no longer tried to hide behind GDragon. i was Kwon Jiyong and I love you Seungri.
You walked into my room that night and I could've sworn that my heart skipped a couple of beats. You were wearing your favourite pair of pajamas, the one with pandas drawn all over it. You're BigBang's maknae and it's at these moments when it really shows.
You looked tired. I was worried, but I felt reassured when your confident smile didn't falter.
"You need something, maknae?" I turned my attention to the music sheet where i was supposed to be writting another master piece. But now, my mind was too pre occupied to finish what I started.
"Nope. I just thought I'd check up on my favorite hyung. You've been working too much, Ji."
You cared.
You pinched my cheeck and I felt a blush slowly forming. I feel like a girl, damn it!
"I'm fine, Ri. Thanks."
It was quiet for a while and I tried to continue my song writting. But knowing Seungri, the silence wouldn't last long.
"Jiyong hyung?" He sounded like a five year old and I think I just found another reason to love him even more.
"Hm?" I spun on my chair to face him. He was lying comfortably on my bed, looking up the ceiling as if deep in thought. I had to fight a sudden urge to jump on the bed beside him and wrap my arms around his beautiful body. When he talked, i had make sure my heart wouldn't beat right out my chest.
"Do you mind if.. Uhm.. I was wondering if I could... If I could stay here tonight." He stood up and gave me a faint smile, "With you."
--
This time, I was the one who noticed. How you'd always come to me first when you need anything. How you would go in to my room at 2 in the morning just to keep me company. How in a crowded room your eyes always seem to find mine. I watched you grow right before my eyes and along with that you started seeing me in a whole different light. I was happy.
It's late and I'm still working. Sleep can wait. I heard the door to my room open, I was used to that by now. I knew it was you because I caught a hinge of your perfume and then I heard that familiar, "Hi hyung." and my heart did an involountary summersault.
By reflex. I answered with the ususal, " Hi Ri."
I stood up from my desk to stretch a little and what you did next caught me off guard. You stood behind me and slowly wrapped your arms around my waist while resting your chin on my shoulder. I could feel you breathing into my ear. It was getting harder for me to breathe. I've never had you this close to me, and it felt so new yet so familiar.
"I have to tell you something." You said that so softly but I heard it clearly anyway. You pulled away from me to give me space so I could face you. But as soon as i turned around, your hands settled at the small of my back and pulled me closer again. You cupped the side of my face and gently caressed my cheek. I watched as your deep chesnut brown orbs traveled from my eyes to every inch of my face, as if memorizing every detail of it. Then you stopped at my eyes again and I felt shivers run down my spine. I didn't know that it was humanly possibe for someone to be this beautiful.
You wrapped your arms around my waist and I felt weaker and stronger at the same time.
You're smirking. Why are you smirking?
"Ji." What the hell. "You're shaking." Oh. I rolled my eyes playfully and gave him a gentle punch in the shoulder.
"What were you going to say, Seungri?"
The smirk was suddenly wiped off of your face and I felt that you were scared. Of what?
But then again, I think I know.
This time, you were the one shaking but you didn't remove your hands from it's place around my waist. You opened your mouth but nothing came out.
As you tried again, I noticed your confidence fade away by the second. "Jiyong hyung, I..."
I knew what was running through your mind. I don't know how or why I knew, I just do.
Without thinking, I moved in a little closer and wrapped my arms around your neck then whispered in your ear.
"I love you too, maknae."
When you pulled away, I was scared. I thought maybe I should take back what I said. But then I saw that your eyes were filled with a mixture of fear and awe and pure and unquestionable happiness and it was just overwhelming.
"You mean that?"
I was trying not to laugh because you looked like an over excited kid. You blinked one too many times, as if convinving yourself that you heard me right.
"You really do?" You took my hand and held it tight in yours.
"I always have." There it is. That beautiful smile that I've always held on to as the most amazing thing in the world.
"I love you Kwon Jiyong. Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou,"
As I felt your soft lips gently press into mine, I knew that my life was complete.
Love. It was no longer unlikely. It was reality.
Love? Love is you, Seungri. And you're not unlikely.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hope you like it. :) Comments are greatly appreciated. :)
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