The sky was black, all black, no stars, no light, no moon, and no life. Silence was blaring at his ears, speaking of its loneliness, of its dryness and dullness of the cold, dead night.

It was no different from his current state of mind.

Onew sat on the swing with his feet firmly planted on the ground. His hands clasped onto the metal ropes tightly, as if afraid he might just disintegrate into thin hair and disappear from this face of earth forever without anyone noticing. Afraid that last bit of hope left inside him would just slip away. Or has it already?

Lee Soo Man was no stupid man. He would never let Onew go. He would never let this money-making machine leave with just a mere snap of the fingers. The contract bounded Onew's life to the company. No matter how much he wanted to leave this godforsaken place he had once been forced to called home, they would never let him. Never. The knowledge by which he could not escape made him cringe.

"I want you to start on an acting career."

That was his way of putting an end to the scandals floating around on the internet and tabloids. To start Onew on an acting career. To keep everyone's attention on the new film and forget the whole incident. Pretend it hadn't even taken place and Onew was right back where he was. A member of SHINee. A happy, carefree person who was perfect inside out.

Was he crazy? Why was he doing this to him when he had absolutely no energy left in him to do anything else? He sounded like a coward. Wallowing up in his own self-misery and as a leader, not taking up the responsibilities for the other members. But he was tired. He was exhausted. The emotional turmoil the past few days had drained him.

The stoic business look was still imprinted like a mask, but Onew could read beneath the facade. He was enjoying every moment of this, his happiness derived from the distressed faces of the five members. He was a sadist. He would not do it, Onew had told him gravely and angrily. But that only further made the man's lips break into a grin of what, he knew not of. He only knew it made him sick in the stomach.

He pulled out a contract as he placed it in front of Onew.

"What's this?" He dared to ask, swallowing hard as Lee Soo Man flinched before stiffly sitting down. Every muscle in him tensed, his heart beating faster with each working second. It was the same years ago when he was still a trainee. Nothing else mattered, except with one goal in mind. To be somebody. To be an idol everyone looked up to. To be known for all the efforts and hard work he had to put in.

It was years ago that he was blinded by his desire to perform on stage and sing his heart out. And with this desire, even when the terms of the contract was so unreasonable, he still signed on the papers. He didn't have much choice anyway. He had already spent his youth training and now that he was given a chance, he would be a fool not to jump at the opportunity and take it.

Since he was chubbier than most guys, he had to undergo a very strict diet and had to do vigorous exercises on a regular basis which sometimes wore him out till the point whereby his voice started cracking during singing lessons. Water was also not given regularly so as to reduce swelling and bloatedness of the face. Those days had been Onew's worst.

He knew his looks alone was never going to get him anywhere. He was no pretty boy. His dancing was passable, but not any better. He had to try harder than everyone else. So he relied on his voice. He screamed. For hours and hours on end, knowing that at the peak of his screams, he once more achieved the highest tone of his voice. Emotionally, physically, each call was a demand towards God, asking why he had to suffer this injustice. Because... because... look at Kim Jonghyun. His voice was high and soothing like a harp being plucked by slender fingers of a woman; surpassing him vocally in all ways. He could reach the highest note without trying hard and it had so much power Onew's voice felt soft and weak beside his. And by this knowledge, he detested Jonghyun. Knowing he was placed in the same band as Jonghyun made it all the more difficult for him. He hated why God was so unfair towards him. He could never shine in a group. A group of which everyone had their pros, and he had none. All that he could do, the other members did it better.

Where would Onew go once his youth was drained out slowly away from him? Where would the rest of SHINee go? Just like DBSK, would their name just go down the K-pop scene, taken over by younger, fresher bubblegum pop acts? Forever forgotten. Their future seemed bleak. What they had been doing were only in preparation for the present. He realized he had never taken into consideration the future. What lies ahead? He had no idea.

At least DBSK had made their mark in Japan. They had accomplished things many other artistes in Korea would not have dreamed of doing. In his mind, CSJH The Grace's future flickered like a dying flame. Where were they now? SM although commissioned through contract, refused to help them. They were stationed in Japan for more than five years now, with their last album released three years ago. It was because all four of them suffered so much, sweating out blood and tears before they could finally cut another album. Unfortunately, it didn't have much success as it was obvious to all that SM hadn't put in much effort promoting them as compared to So-Nyeo-Shi-Dae. They didn't go on radio and music shows. Their music video was lackadaisical. Their photoshoots were less than satisfactory.

Onew shook his head. How cruel this whole thing was. At least the night was offering solace to his disturbed mind right now. The familiar creaking of the grasshoppers, soft croaking of the frogs. It was all too comforting.

His thoughts was back where it last happened. There were pretty pictures, photoshoots that didn't even show them and the other SM stars smiling. They were posing, as though they were the hottest beings on earth. As though they were superior-superior to whom?-the fans who supported them with so much adoration. If they could no longer stand with that much confidence, what were they really? Human beings like everyone else-bones, blood, flesh.

But there he was, sitted in front of the wicked man who allowed all this to happen. Who wanted it all to happen. He had no qualms about crushing someone else's dreams for his own.

His smile, calm and complacent, was eerie.

"Your acting contract."

Onew shuddered. It was specially done up for him. That didn't make him feel priveleged. He felt fear creeping up on him.

He casually scrolled through the piece of paper, careful not to let his emotions show on his face. He was afraid and he was sure Lee Soo Man would use it to his advantage. He wasn't going to let the man use him. Not over his dead body.

"What do you mean by this?" Onew bit his lip.

"With all the controversy going around, we need good publicity." He leaned back on his leather seat with his arms folded together across his chest. "In your SHINee contract, we have specifically stated that besides singing, acting is also part of SHINee's activities. So I guess you have absolutely no objections to this decision made by the company, am I right, Lee Jinki?"

"Why can't you let me go?" The words sputtered out before Onew could stop himself.

He gave a fake look of surprise. A look which made Onew's fingers ball into tight fists. He wanted very much to punch this . "Let you go? That would be too easy for you, wouldn't it? I have spent so much on you, letting you go would be such a shame. Without one, SHINee as a band would be nothing. Furthermore, there has been requests that you be featured in songs or sing solo songs created by soundtrack producers. Not only that, you are also one of the singers that have proven true during live performances."

Onew didn't want to hear it. His arms ached to cover his ears, but what could he do? He had to listen. He made Onew sound important. As though his existence mattered alot. But Onew knew it was all a lie. He wasn't that gullible teenger back then who didn't know how to differentiate between reality and fantasy. He was now a sensible adult who could think for himself.

It was though the devil could read through him like he was glass. With narrowed eyes scanning him like a vulture waiting for its hapless victim, he lowered his voice, "I am not a patient man. Even if you take the whole day to think about whatever, it is still going to be a fact that you have to sign this contract whether you like it or not."

Adjusting the Rolex watch on his left hand, he swiped the contract off the desk. He pushed the contract into Onew's hands. Closing his hands around the piece of paper. "Make it quick, Jinki," he said smiling wryly. Smiling as if he should be as well, and that giving him the chance to think about it was a godsend gift. He didn't want to think about it.

Onew in air as he took a pen from the holder with shaky hands. His mind was a blank. There was nothing to think about. The man was right. No matter how much he kept thinking, the result would still be the same. He was still gonna have to sign the damn thing. There was no path of return.

Before he knew it, he was signing away, the black ink forming a signature.

His signature.

Once again, he sold himself to the devil.

--

Ever since the incident in the practice room, the five boys were awkward and quiet around each other. No one mentioned anything. Dinner on the table back at the dorm was silent except for the sound of metal chopsticks and spoon against the ceramic plates and occasionally the sound of cups set back on the table after a drink.

They were all in the dressing room where the coordi noonas were helping to touch up their make-up and hair. Jonghyun was busy with his phone and Minho was just reading a new book he had bought not long ago, seemingly engrossed in its contents. Key was sorting out the various accessories, trying it on, looking mildly impressed then placing it back down on the table. He was the only one who troubled himself with the doning of clothes and anything related to fashion. Not that he actually thought of it as a chore. Taemin was playing with his fingers and Onew was sitting down in front of the mirror, lost in his own thoughts.

A clap sound brought all the boys attention to the door. It was their manager who was looking at each and every boy carefully. His eyes landed on Onew. "Boys," he said, addressing all five SHINee members. "Say what you ought to say, nothing more. We cannot afford to screw up this time and I mean it." He was staring intently at the leader who did not bother returning the stare. He just looked down at his boots. Jonghyun cast a quick glance over at Onew and closed his flip phone shut.

Another man came in at that moment, he had on a earpiece and a few papers in his hand. "It is time. We're good to go. The reporters are all here."

Manager Kim nodded and waved him away. "Remember. No screw-ups this time." He signalled for the five boys to follow him.

The door to the conference hall opened and as if it were an immediate reaction, the cameras started flashing wildly all over and the atmosphere was all hyped up. Lucky for the boys who had the experience to keep a straight face with all the camera lights coming their way, almost able to blind any normal person. Minho gave a slight smirk remembering his early debut days. He was so shy he often moved away from the camera whenever there was one. He didn't like to be in it because he felt so uncomfortable and weird. Maybe it was a phase he was going through then. Shedding off his ugly skin for something better. Now, he was b with confidence. He knew how to keep a pretty face even with the bright lights which hurt his eyes. But if he closed it or even so much as flinched slightly, the pictures would turn out ugly, with eyes neither opened nor closed. He shivered at the thought. No way was he going to allow such a horrendous picture be taken of him. No way.

He turned to face the cameras and gave his trademark smirk. One which sent the fangirls crazy.

They bowed at their respective places with their right hand up at ninety degrees and balled into a fist as they greeted everyone present, "Hello, we're shining SHINee!"

With that, they took their seats. The reporters too, took their seats and got out their laptops and voice recorders. The whole of Korea had been awaiting this press conference. It was finally here.

"Hello to all present, we are holding a press conference to clear up whatever misunderstandings that has arisen so that everyone would have a better understanding of what's going on. Feel free to ask any questions. We would be more than happy to answer it. But one at a time, please." Manager Kim spoke into the microphone with a smile plastered on his face.

A hand raised in the crowd. "There has been rumors going on about SHINee's disbandment, is that true?"

"There is no such thing. SHINee has never planned to disband." Manager Kim replied, his voice business-like. Well yeah, after all, this was just business. A business that needs to look perfect at all times.

"Onew-sshi has made a confession, what has he got to say about this?" Another one asked.

Manager Kim turned to look at Onew beside him. "As I said earlier, he was down with a fever and that was why led to him saying such things. He is alright now. He was just exhausted after all the schedules." He nudged Onew, urging him to say something.

"Uh, yes. I had been feeling um, unwell for the past few days. Sorry to, uh, the fans and all of you who have been worried about this. I, um, I promise this won't happen again. I'm sorry." Onew stuttered, trying to sound convincing. How could he convince others when he himself didn't believe his own words?

"What has the other members got to say from this?"

"We're glad Onew hyung has recovered and we can continue being a SHINee which brings joy to fans," Minho said, his eyes unfaltering.

Key said, "We were all worried for Onew hyung, but now that it is over, we're more than happy."

"We heard Jonghyun would be collaborating with Jessica-sshi from So-Nyeo-Shi-Dae. What can the fans expect from this?"

"Yes, this is the first time we're doing a song together and I'm really nervous. I hope fans can give us more love and support and we'll show you a very good side of us that you've never seen before." Jonghyun said, his answer nothing more than a worthless script created by SM.

"Will Onew-sshi still stay in SHINee?" Came another voice.

"Yes. There will be no changes. I will be still be the leader of SHINee, and SHINee will still have five people. No more, no less." Onew answered, tired. Sick and tired.

"How is the preparation for your next album? So far, every album SHINee has released has been having good sales and response. How do you feel about it?" Shouted another from the noisy atmosphere.

Taemin smiled, his eyes twinkling. "It is going good. I hope fans can anticipate our return and give us support. We will show you a new side of SHINee and we'll work even harder so as not to disappoint the fans who have been loving us."

"We are grateful for all the love fans give us. Without them all, SHINee would be nothing. Thank you and I love you, SHINee World!" Key said, making flying kisses which caused the cameras to flash from every direction.

"We heard that Onew would be involved in a drama which would start filming soon. Could we have more details on what it might be about?" Another reporter questioned ardently.

Manager Kim nodded his head. "Onew has been chosen to be in this drama. As for the details, we are unable to give much as the details and negotiations hasn't been finalized as of yet. But do look forward to it. Time is up, so I'm afraid the conference has to end. Thank you for taking your time off to attend."

He motioned for the boys to stand and with a last bow, exited the hall robotically.