Ashigarashimo,  Kanagawa,  Japan                                                                    

January 10, 2013

Thursday

I sang a lullaby for my little brother. As he fell asleep in my lap I tuck him in his bed. I sat beside him and I stared at him for a while then I kissed his forehead. I his night light then exited his room.

I lay down at my bed, thinking how it’s hard for him to grow up without our mother. That's why I treasure him so much and I’ll protect him all my life. Ever since our mother passed away and he was born, I took care of him even though my father hired a nanny for him. I love my little brother so much. 

I was about to fall asleep when I heard the front door open. Those big doors always echo inside the mansion. I glanced at my wall clock. It’s already  9pm. I stood up from my bed and decided to go down to the living area.

There, I saw father sitting on his couch in front of the fireplace. I kissed his check and went on to sit on the other couch. 

“Is Jeehyun asleep?”

“Yes, Father. He’s already asleep.”

“It’s already late, why are you still up?”

“Have you considered my proposal, Father? It’s already my last year in highschool and I really want to experience actual schooling. I want to have classmates. I want to experience normal schooling.”

“It’ll be difficult for you to adjust. Normal teachers won’t focus on you solely unlike Ms. Shibasaki does. Besides, the best schools in the country are in Tokyo and that’s ninety minutes away from here.”

“It doesn’t have to be the best school.” I said in a low voice.

“You’re in an advanced curriculum and if I enroll you in some random school here, they will teach you things that you already know.”

“But I want to learn how to be independent somehow. Even just going to school on my own. Walking on my own. Interacting with other people. Normal people.” 

“So this is about being independent again? You want to walk around without any bodyguards. I have reasons why I don’t let you on your own. I don’t want the same incident to happen again.”

“Father! I was four years old back then and I can’t barely even remember what happened.”

“You don’t know what your mother went through when you were kidnapped for two days. This is what she wants. She wants you to be safe, that's why we switched you to homeschooling.”

“I’m old enough to defend myself. Okay, fine! I can have the guards with me just let me enroll in a school and make friends.”

“Aren't the other kids your friend? Shintaro, Hikara, Saki and all other kids you spend time with.”

“They’re not my friends. Except Shintaro. He’s the most decent one among all of them. We’re acquaintances not friends. I only talk to them because I don’t have a choice. They’re all snobby, stuck-up spoiled brat and arrogant people.” I retorted. My father released a deep sigh.

“Go to bed. We’ll talk about this some other time.” He stood up and patted my head. 

I throw myself on my bed. My face landed on my fluffy pillows. I grunted out of frustration. My father always avoids that conversation and I am so upset. My train of thought was interrupted by the soft knocks on my door. I waited for a second before Takaki peeked his head. I laughed at his action.

“Come in.” He went inside my room and stood still beside my bed.

“I heard what happened downstairs, young miss.”

“I told you, just Jeehwa when no one’s around.”

Takaki is like my older brother. His dad worked in the mansion as a butler too but eventually resigned because of health conditions. His dad was a trusted butler of my father so when Takaki stepped in to replace his dad, my father didn’t have any hesitation. Takaki was finishing his undergrad in Business but due to his father’s illness he decided to work in the mansion too but my father didn’t want to waste Takaki’s potential and let him continue his studies with a full grant scholarship. My father also funded his father’s medical bills.

“Your Father is just only concerned with you, you know that, right?”

“Yes. I am fully aware of that. It’s just that it’s too much.” I sighed

“You can always talk to him again. I’ll also see what I can do.” 

“Really?”

“Of course.” by that he ruffled my hair.

“Go to sleep now, young miss.”

“Okay.” I smiled at him.

Seoul, South Korea

Gangnam Medical Hospital

“I’ve already requested for an increase of security! This is the second time that Sehun’s had been attacked by a sasaeng fan. I’m not gonna let the boys endure this! We’re not even talking about the frequent harassment by those crazy fans to the boys. It just so happens that Sehun always gets the worst. Request for more security or else I’ll cut down the boys’ schedule. Tell that to the goddamn CEO.”

I can still hear my manager even if he’s already outside the room. I stared at the white ceiling and sigh. I still need to finish this dextrose before they can let me go. I closed my eyes to seize the  few hours I have to rest. Going into therapy and taking meds won’t work if this kind of incident keeps on happening every now and then.

“Damn it.” I cursed under my breath and rake my hair with my hand.

Deep breath, Sehun. Deep breath.

Ashigarashimo,  Kanagawa,  Japan                                                                    

January 11, 2013

Friday

We spent our breakfast without our Father because he had an early meeting. Minshin, Jeehyun’s nanny is feeding him. Takaki’s standing beside me waiting for any request of mine. I caught him staring at Minshin too many times already. I tried to suppress my giggles every time. 

“Have you eaten already?” I asked Takaki but he was too busy staring at Minshin. I cleared my throat.

“Sorry, did you ask me anything?” He composed himself.

“Yes, I did but it seems you're too busy.”  I teased as I continued to eat my food.

“N-no. It’s just that...uh...I was thinking