Sehun knows Luhan since something like two years now and he was totally in love with me. He fell for him the first time he saw him, it was love at first sight, but he didn’t realized that immediately. He understood that only when he started to blush now and then when the other boy looked at him or when he started to be jealous when Luhan talked to someone else. But he never told something about that. He thought it was only a stupid thing that could happen to all the teenager to feeling something weird towards a friend so he kept quiet. But he thought it was also just too wrong loving him and that this love was a one sided one. He thinks for sure that the other boy could react badly if he says something. But he doesn’t mind if he keeps for himself those things, he just wants to have Luhan by his side. But by the time passes it will be even harder for him to keep it.

 

 

He never thought about telling Luhan about his feelings, but in that moment he feels to grab the boy and let him know. But Sehun’s brain scolds him not to do so. He looks at the boy talking about everything and nothing, ignoring what it’s going on a war inside the boy that sits just in front of him.

 

 

It is a real war inside Sehun. Just go and tell him you love him! His heart tells, but instantly there is the reply of the brain No, you’re a coward, you can’t do that. For a moment he thinks he’s going crazy, it’s too much talking with him. But that thought can’t keep his inner to don’t argue with himself.

“Sehun, are you ok?”

Luhan waves a hand in front of the boy’s eyes, his stare is blankly in front of him looking at an empty space.

“Mmh?” he mumbles moving his stare to Luhan who has a worried look.

“Are you okay Sehun? You look a bit strange, you aren’t listening to me!”

“Oh, it’s nothing, I’m sorry hyung! What you were talking about?”

He acts like nothing is going on, he doesn’t want to worry the other boy. But it’s hard. It’s totally hard.

 

 

Sehun walks towards the rooftop of his school after he decided that he doesn’t need to follow that class just because he’s already good in that subject. The truth is that he wants to be alone for a bit. Alone with his thoughts and no one who cares if he’s listening or not, alone with his little personal war with himself. Before sitting on the ground he notices he’s not alone, there’s someone that lies on the ground, face facing the sky. He recognizes who is the other person, he’s one of his friends, Kris. He slowly goes near the boy and sits beside him.

“Hey dude.”  Kris greets him before he can say a thing.

“Yo.”

There is silence for a bit, no one of the two wanting to ask what the other is doing there. Sehun looks around him, feeling his thoughts arguing again about what he has to do or no to do.

“Stop thinking, your brain is fuming.”

Not responding to what the other said he lies down too closing his eyes. Maybe it’s that my problem, I think too much.

 

 

“In a week it’s your birthday, what you want to do?” Luhan asks while they eat their lunch in the school’s cafeteria. He really doesn’t know what to do, he wasn’t in the mood to do something with his friends, he wants only to lie down onto is bed, hug his pillow and try to sleep instead of thinking.

“I’m not sure, I don’t want to do something.”

Luhan looks shocked towards the boy. He knows him well and he always talked about how he wanted to spend his birthday with his friends and know he’s saying that he doesn’t want to do anything.

“What?! Why?”

He simply shrugs without saying anything. It would be a bit awkward to say “Oh, ‘cause I constantly think about you and I want to cry in my bed until I pass out!” Too awkward. He looks back to Luhan to find him with a questioning look.

“What? I don’t want. That’s it!”

“Sehun, seriously. What’s wrong with you? Lately you’re not the same!”

Listening to those words pissed him off. What’s wrong? It’s you! It’s ing you!

“Listen. I’m the same of always. I decided that. Stop to annoy me with that!” he snaps to Luhan, not really angry with the boy but with himself. He gets up and walks away feeling his throat burning in the attempt to keeps the salt water falling from his eyes.

 

 

From: Kai

To: Sehun

-What’s wrong with you dude! You ing yelled at him!-

 

From: Sehun

To: Kai

-I did not.-

 

From: Kai

To: Sehun

-So he’s depressed for nothing? Dude, seriously what the hell comes to into your little burned up brain?-

 

Depressed? Wait, what?

 

From: Sehun

To: Kai

-Depressed?-

 

From: Kai

To: Sehun

-Good morning princess! Yeah! He can’t understand why his beloved dongsaeng yelled.-

 

I’m an idiot.

 

From: Sehun

To: Luhan

-Hyung? I’m sorry.-

 

 

He hadn’t talked about what happened in the cafeteria with Luhan, the other boy just let it flew away when he said he was sorry and they hadn’t talked about his birthday either. They just don’t want to go back to that argument.

 

 

And there it is. The day before his birthday. He comes home from school, had dinner with his parents and then he goes straight to bed, like always.

 

23:40

From: Luhan

To: Sehun

-Dongsaengie, are you awake?-

 

He just stares at the text and decides to pretend he’s asleep.

 

23:50

From: Luhan

To: Sehun

-Oh, you’re already asleep!-

 

Like before he ignores the text and sinks his face on his pillow.

 

00:00

He looks at the clock near his bed and sees that it’s 00:00Happy Birthday to me…

After a bit he hears a soft noise coming from his door and thinking it’s his mum he doesn’t bothered to turn around and check. Then someone plunges onto him and starts to scream and laugh. Sehun is a bit stunned that at first he doesn’t recognize who is on top of him.

“Happy birthday Sehunnie!” Luhan says flashing him a bright smile.

“L-Luhan! What?!” he doesn’t have time to talk that the other hugs him tight that almost he can’t breathe. A smile grows on his lips while hugging back the boy.

“Oh! Sehun! Wait a minute!”

Luhan disappears behind the door to come back with a little cake with a lightened candle on the top.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday Sehunnie, happy birthday to you!” the boy sings with his angelic voice. Sehun can’t believe what is going on, he starts to think that he’s a sleep and all this is only a beautiful dream that his mean mind decided to give him.

“Blew the candle and make a wish Hunnie!” the hyper boy says joyfully. God, my eternal wish is you.With this thought he blows the candle.

 

“Luhan…” Sehun calls out. They are lying onto the bed quiet, not saying a thing. I’ll say it now. I’ve to.

“Mh?” he takes a big breath before starting to speak.

“I-I… I love you. Okay? I love since the first time I saw you. I can’t help it and I can’t take it anymore. Tell me I’m a , hate me, but I’ve to say it.” He speaks without taking a pause, the words flows alone from his mouth. “I can’t stop thinking about you. The other day when I yelled at you I was just that I was, and actually I still am, frustrated by this thing.” He finishes to talk and closes his eyes don’t really believing that he told that and waiting for an answer.

“You…” when the other boy starts to talk he feels something breaking in his heart. Good Sehun, now you’ll lose him. Good job dude. “You’re an idiot. Why you tell me that now? Only now?” Luhan stands up in sit position so he can look Sehun in the face, but his eyes are still closed. He doesn’t want to be with a like you. He regrets all the time passed with you.

“Look, Luhan. I’m a coward ok? Just hate me and don’t ask anything.”

“God! Sehun shut your mouth! You didn’t even noticed that I love you too?!” the time stops for an eternal moment. Sehun opens his eyes meeting the others. He couldn’t believe that, no. Wait. What.

“Are you serious? You’re not joking?” he asks blankly. The other eyes were soft, a lovely look straight into his.

“You’re really an idiot.” Luhan approaches the boy’s face, going nearer and neared. Their lips are inches away, and then they slightly touch. Sehun’s heart is racing fast, the lips moving slowly with Luhan’s. If I’ve to die young, please let me die now.  They break the kiss to stare into each other eyes, both happy.

 

“Sehun, what wish did you make before?”

“Oh, that… I realized that yet.”

“What?”

“My wish is you…”