or rather, assisting taeyang's with happiness

Jiyong can’t help it, not really, his floppy ears were just made to eavesdrop, and so when Mina noona is excitedly whispering to the other dancers that Youngbae has asked her out for dinner next Thursday, he can’t help that his mastermind brain is already formulating plans: Youngbae is going to have the best night ever, seriously, it’s gonna be kickass and he will never be forever alone again. Instead, he’ll have a girlfriend finally and the media can stop putting him on those ‘Most-Likely-To-Spend-Christmas-Alone’ lists at number one, because it’s actually very embarrassing. He takes a moment to smirk. He truly is worthy of the title of genius. Hmmm...add a fan-ing-tastic plan to his already fabulous self, what is missing? Ah.

How can evil mastermind get along without his sidekick? A sidekick can do all the dirty work! And take the fall too, if it really comes to it, he adds mentally. He casts his eye around for the best victim- I mean assistant - ....not that there is much to choose from. Sometimes he wishes he was in Super Junior, if only to have 11 other choices when searching for fellow mischief makers, or even another ear to yell into. Oh well. A genius must work with what he has. And what he has at hand is:

A) Taeyang: Obviously not.

B) Daesung ? Pros: Cheerful, knows lots of possible date restaurants like the back of his hand, people skills and blinding smile that can be used as getaway tactic. Cons: Consumed with going to church, writing and composing and generally doing too much  (note to self: restrain Daesung from overworking himself)

C) TOP ? Pros: Walking attention magnet, hundreds of slave fangirls who can act as getaway tactic, has some strange but workable ideas, is wearing a nice jacket right now, smoldering eye gaze that can be and off as a distraction technique. Cons: Walking attention magnet, doesn’t know when to shut up unless on a broadcast and even then can’t be trusted, sticks out of crowds like a pink giraffe and it’s probably gonna be really difficult to stalk- I mean assist Youngbae on his date if TOP comes along.

Jiyong’s gaze at last drifts to his hapless maknae who is simultaneously channel surfing and jamming noodles into his mouth and somehow...suddenly looks very very good looking doing so. Huh, when had this happened? his brain demands, flipping through the memories of the past year, disconcerted by the fact the cute baby  face had morphed into sharp angles and lean curves. He swallows. Stupid hormones - he’s  23! He sighs. Taking the maknae on his quest to save Youngbae from a life of bachelorhood is his only choice if he doesn't want to choose option E) Go alone and well, it wouldn’t exactly be uncomfortable would it? In fact he could probably make it veeeeery comfortable for himself and a certain maknae...He cackles wickedly and this causes everyone in the room to stare at him warily, but he ignores them.  If he keeps up this evil plotting, he would soon be delivered a personal invitation from Villains Inc. to join them. This plan is foolproof.

Unfortunately for Jiyong, Seungri isn’t a fool.

lmao i realise that i haven't updated anything for two years, but i was searching through my google drive and found a bunch of unwritten shorts so here they are 4 in one!!! but i won't be writing any more big bang fanfic i think, so cheers for reading and i hope you find some great ACTUALLY REGULARLY UPDATED fic elsewhere ^_^ and check out big bang's lil brother 'winner'! they're huge dorks with a great sound and extra height hahaha