IX.5

          He flipped his light off and waited in silence until he was sure everyone else had gone to sleep.

          It was already late; it wasn’t long before doors were shutting and nighttime wishes were exchanged.

          Slipping socks on to quiet his wandering feet, Seunghyun opened his door slowly and closed it behind him, hardly lifting his feet on the way to the kitchen.

          He held his hand in the ice bin in the mini-fridge for a moment longer than he needed as he grabbed a handful of cubes. The whiskey was a little emptier than he’d last left it. He hovered the bottle over the glass, weighing it in his hand before tipping it, watching the golden stream dully.

          There was a sound of a page turning.

          He looked up.

          Noticed the light in the TV room was on, the ornate one on the table by the couch.

          Stared at the hair that was neither blond, nor short, nor in an orientation that continuously defied gravity.

          Froze up immediately.

          He’d been planning on sitting in his armchair to down his drink, to be right at the kitchen if he wanted another. His eyes flicked to the lit corner, measuring the situation quickly.

          Jiyong must have noticed him. The house was silent. Even with his stealth, Seunghyun wasn’t entirely soundless. But yet, there he sat. Of course he sat. Youngbae had said he was waiting for Seunghyun to be ready. He was obviously tracking his movements, letting him take action.

          See? Seunghyun thought bitterly, still hostile over the fight. Jiyong knows not to bother me. He knows how to leave me alone.

          It would have been so easy to take the glass back to his room, to elude the being on the couch that was responsible for his whole new range of emotions. So easy to sidestep the issue, wait another night. He could have convinced himself effortlessly that today wasn’t the day, that it wasn’t the right time.

          But it was the right time.

          He spun his glass in his hand, examining the ice cubes as they swirled around.

          This was rock bottom, wasn’t it?

          When his problems were inside his own head, he was perfectly fine with putting them off. They didn’t affect anyone else. But now look.

          He didn’t have Youngbae anymore.

          And he didn’t have Jiyong.

          Look at how dreadfully he’d just acted with one he’d known for almost all of his conscious life. Look at how he refused to let him in.

          Look at how Jiyong sat on the couch, stiff, waiting for Seunghyun to make the first move.

          Rock bottom.

          The coffee table had been shifted toward the couch and away from the armchair, a mark of Seunghyun not being there to pull it back when Seungri was too lazy to lean forward to grab his food. Carefully setting his drink on the side table, Seunghyun bent over and lifted the edge closest to him and hefted it over the carpet, creating a dull thud as it fell back into its normal place.

          Jiyong looked up from his magazine sharply, not expecting this. He’d heard Seunghyun dallying in the kitchen, giving him space to get his alcohol and retire back to his room. But Seunghyun wasn’t just getting a drink.

          The strength of Jiyong’s gaze made the hairs on the back of Seunghyun’s neck stand up. He took a deep breath and lifted his eyes from the patterned rug, expecting red eyes, tears, yelling, something.

          Jiyong pretended he never looked up as soon as Seunghyun noticed, expressionlessly returning to his magazine.

          Seunghyun lowered his eyes back to the granite tiles on the table and leaned forward to snatch the remote. He clicked the television on as he turned it down so it was hardly audible, not wanting anyone else who was presently sleeping to make an appearance.

Jiyong’s eyes flicked up to the screen and back in an instant. He closed his magazine cautiously and laid it on his adjoining side table. He shouldn’t be here, he could feel it. He needed to respect Seunghyun’s space. The other man probably felt really awkward with him in the room, but he just didn’t want to be rude and leave. So Jiyong would have to be the one to leave. It made sense.

He stood up slowly, not making any sudden movements.

Seunghyun’s eyes stayed locked on the screen, but his knuckles turned white on the arms of his seat.

Jiyong’s finger clasped around the string that would turn his lamp off, his back facing the face he’d been wanting to see for so long.

“Wait.”

Jiyong turned instantly, letting go of the light cord. His lips parted slightly, his eyes drinking in Seunghyun’s direct stare, the first regard he’d gotten from his hyung in over a week. He waited.

Seunghyun’s eyes flicked to the couch and back up to the waiting man’s willing face.

Jiyong sat like an obedient dog, feeling foolish despite his pounding heart. Perched on the edge of his seat, he waited for further instructions with bated breath.

But none came.

Minutes passed. The only sound was a laugh track, the channel replaying funny clips over and over.

The show finished. Another started.

That show finished too.

Jiyong finally relaxed back onto the couch as the credits rolled. So Seunghyun didn’t want to talk. But it was an improvement, and Jiyong took it. He watched the show too, sitting across the room.

          The scene was ironic. The show was supposed to be funny. The viewers were supposed to be laughing.

          But both men remained impassive.

          They were supposed to be friends. They were supposed to be able to joke about on their own.

          Silence.

          There was no way Jiyong was going to get up. Just in case Seunghyun was about to talk, he remained sitting. He didn’t dare leave. It might just make Seunghyun more unstable.

          But apart from the significant glance he’d gotten earlier, Jiyong could hardly tell if Seunghyun even knew if he was there.

          The credits rolled again, but Seunghyun made no intentions of standing up. A late-night cartoon’s theme song started playing.

          Halfway into the third program, Jiyong’s head tilted back the quarter inch onto the cushion, asleep. He didn’t snore or move around at all; the fact that he’d drifted off went unnoticed by the other presence in the room until the show came to an end.

          Seunghyun turned the TV off. It continued buzzing for a moment before shutting off completely. He brushed his palms on his jeans and stood up, his knees creaking. The leftover ice clattered as he dumped them in the sink, leaving the glass in the sink to wash in the morning. He locked his elbows and pushed down on the counter, stretching, hoping for some surge of idea with the blood rushing to his head. What he could say to Jiyong to comfort him, he didn’t know. He left it.

          At the hallway, he gave a final glance over his shoulder.

          His eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and he could see the outline of the dozing Jiyong, in an uncomfortable, almost completely upright, position.

          Narrowing his eyes, Seunghyun sighed and ruffled his bangs. He creeped to Jiyong carefully, not making a sound. He stood over his sleeping figure for a moment, hands on his hips, considering him.

          How peaceful he looked when he was asleep.

          So pretty.

          Whatever, Seunghyun thought hurriedly.He can just sleep there. It’s not my fault if he’s sore.

          He got to the edge of where the carpet of the living room turned into the hardwood of the hallway before he turned around again.

          So he didn’t want to wake him up. If he hadn’t been sleeping well like Youngbae had implied, it would probably be bad for him to wake up. Maybe it was rare. It was fine. He should stay there.

          He pulled the cord on Jiyong’s lamp and rushed to the bathroom before he could change his mind again.

          The leftover makeup from that day’s work came off quickly. A cut opened in his gums from how roughly he brushed his teeth.

          His feet carried him back to his armchair once he was finished, even though he was sure he had distinctly told them to go to his room.

          There was no way he was going to pick Jiyong up. No. He’d wake up. He was a light sleeper, prone to even the slightest disturbances. He’d be jolted awake by his slightest touch.

          The armchair was still warm as he sat back down.

          He clasped his hands together, resting his chin on his knuckles.

          Minutes passed.

          Eventually Seunghyun got up once more and walked past where Jiyong was sitting, brushing against his leg deliberately. As expected, Jiyong woke up immediately.

          As the tiny man stretched, he caught the outline of Seunghyun shutting off the hallway light.

          The click of his door was almost silent.

A/N: I'm not calling it a whole new chapter, because it's so short.
Didn't know what to call it, though.
This was originally going to go on the last chapter, but I decided it was already at a good stopping point.
And that's why you get an update today too  (⌒▽⌒)☆
Now I'm thinking I should have made you suffer more oh well
AND HEY. I thought it was time for a new poster but I also still really like the old one so you know
your opinion is held very highly in my books