First and Last

I have so many lacking in myself. I’m a waitress at the bar. I didn’t come from a rich family. I don’t have the skills to do the house chores. I’m a selfish, arrogant and a bad girl. I cheat on guys. And the worst, I’m not a girl.

But he,

He’s a rich guy that owns the biggest company in Korea. He’s a nice guy. He knows how to gives the best in everything he do. He knows how to take care of girls heart. Shortly saying, he’s a perfect guy. He’s every girls dream.

But,

He chooses me. He chooses me instead of any other good girls out there while I’m a . I, myself hate me. But he, he loves me ….

***

People says, even a small things can make a big changes. And for me, a piece of paper gives the biggest changes in my life. That night, I made an agreement with a guy I just met. A marriage agreement. An agreement that gives me happiness till the day …

“ Excuse me “ someone approach me from behind. I look at the back. A guy. Handsome and tall guy. “ Yes sir. Can I help you ? “ I ask him, seductively. It’s my job to seduce people in this pub. My mission in life is, do it or regret it. So, I chose ‘do it’. He gives me the smile. The smile that can make every girls melt.

“ Of course you will have to help me. Isn’t it your work “ he replied. He knows how to sarcasm. I mean, he’s really good at talking. “ Hmm, shall we take a sit first ? “ I said, giving him a seductive smile while pulling his hand to the table. As we sat down, “ What can I help you with ? “ I ask him. He smile and pull out a piece of paper.

“ This “ he gives me the paper. The moment I landed my eyes on the paper, I’m so shocked. Shocked to death. “ A marriage ? “ he nodded in agreement.

“ I can’t. Why me ? “ I ask him. He smile , “ Because I know I made the right decision “

***

After that night, we’ve become husband and wife. And now, we’ve been married for 2 years. And I’ve started to love him just like he do. The reason he chooses me is because, he loves me since the first time he saw me at the pub. He told me after 6 months we married. Then only, I know the actual reason.

He never ask me everything I did neither controls my life. He let me continue with my works although he knew what kind of work I’m doing. Even the reason, I want to be an independent person that I gave him doesn’t make sense.

But,

Back to the phrase, a small things can make a big changes. The horrible night that I never expected to come, finally approach me and him. I came back home at 4 am after working the whole night and sees unexpected infront of my eyes. Seeing him on my … no, on our bed with another girl.

Hearing the girl moan her name. Seeing him kissing the girl. Seeing him enjoying his moment with that girl. Seeing the girl caress his back. Seeing them sweating. It really hurts me. Hurts my feeling. I feels like, the spear stabbed deep into my heart.

“ Jae “ I called his name. But I knew, he wouldn’t listened. Because he was with that girl. Suddenly, my tears drop down on my cheek. My legs couldn’t move. I stayed there, stood up still until he sense my presence.

“ Jessica “ he called out my name. Pushing the girl aside. My breath become rapid. I can’t hold my anger anymore and without realizing ….

Pangg !!

I slapped his face. The face that always smile to me. “ Yah ! “ he shout. He wears his boxer and stand right infront of me. He pointed his finger to me. “ What are you doing ? “ he ask me, controlling his anger. Gritted his teeth.

“ You ask me ? “ I ask him , “ What are you doing with this on my bed ?!!!! “ I shout at him. But then, I didn’t expect that he would return the slap to me. I fell down to his leg. My nose was bleeding. “ I’m ing her just like what you did to other guy at the pub “ It really breaks my heart.

“ So, you’re bored with me ? “ I ask him. He sigh, “ Of course “ and leave me to be with that girl. I suffered a lot. Suffer from this pain he left me.

I walk out of the house and live alone again in this world. No one is there for me anymore. This marriage has no end.

>>>

She left the house after that night. I’ve never seen her anymore. Even at the pub, the place she’s working. My heart wants to search for her , but my body won’t let me to. I missed her so much. My body feel the pain for missing her.

The house is not cheery anymore like before. She left me so many sweet memories in this house with her. I’m so regret of making her life suffer. The reason I did that is because …

I can’t stand seeing her with another guy anymore.

I want to sleep, I saw her. I want to eat, I saw her. I want to bath, I saw her. I saw her everywhere in the house. Her shadow haunting me. Until the moment I received a message in my mailbox.

“ Do you somehow knows Miss Jung Jessica ? Please come to the hospital right away if you know her “ Immediately, I went straight to the hospital after receive the message. And I’m speechless and can’t stand on my own feet when I saw her ….

Saw her laying on the hospital bed. Walked to her, sitting beside her and her cheek. I really miss that. And I really want to do it there. I did it but she’s not there to feel it. She’s not there to see how I miss her so much.

“ Excuse me “ someone approach me from the back. It’s the doctor. “ Do you know her ? “ I nods. “ I’m her husband. “ Oh, I’m sorry. But she’s gone. We found this in her shirt “

My tears drop one by one. I never expected I would see her when she’s already gone. Why I didn’t realize when I her face just now ? Is that why, her face look so pale ? Her body was so cool ? I hug her so tightly, because I know this is the last time I will hug her.

It’s been a week since she left the world and left me. I’m looking through my photos with her but then, I remembered. The doctor gave me a letter that he found in her shirt. I look for the letter and read it. The last letter she left for me.

Jaejoong darling ,

You know, maybe the moment you receive this letter, I’m no anymore living in this world. Or maybe you didn’t even read this letter. I just wanted to say what I didn’t have the chance to say when I’m still living in this world.

I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for giving you so much pain. I’m sorry for being such a bad wife for you. I know you’re so hurt seeing me entertaining the other guy. Come back home so late. I’ve known this from the moment you ask me for this marriage, that we will not last longer.

Just to tell you that I’m suffering from leukemia and I only have 3 months to live. Remember the night I saw you with the girl ? I wanted to tell you but since you don’t seem to love me anymore, I don’t think you need to know. And please, just ignore this part if you read this letter : ) I just wanted to tell you so that I will not being the fake wife for secreting all about myself.

Can you help me with my last request ? Please find someone better than me and get married. Don’t tell her about me and don’t come to my grave forever. Let’s just meet in heaven. Give birth to a cute children. And loves your wife just like I love you.

Lastly Jae ,

I really loves you. I love you so much. I would rather die than losing you and see my words worth with what I’m saying. I’ve died. Please Jae, don’t hate me. For the last time, I want to dedicate this three words for you.

I Love You.

7 years later …

“ Appa “ someone called me from the back. I turn back. “ Jessica baby “ I pull out my hand reach for my daughter. My lovely daughter.

Sica, I’ve done as you wish. I’ve married and she gave me this lovely daughter. As you wish, I didn’t tell my wife about you and after the day I read your letter, I didn’t come to your grave anymore. Wait for me Sica. I will come for you in heaven.

Let’s meet there.

Till the day , I left this world. I still gain the happiness. Happiness for loving him.

Here my first one-shot ! I hope this is fine. And I know I’m a bad writer. Please give me support so that I can make many more one-shot in the future ;) Leave your comment okay ;) And please please let me know your opinion.

Thank you for reading this ! Really appreciate it.
I love you all of my readers !!!