If you’re alone..

 

I will be your shadow.

 

If you want to cry,

 

I will be your shoulder.

 

If you want a hug’

 

I will be your pillow

 

If you need to be happy,

 

I’ll be your smile.

 

But if anytime you need a friend.

 

I’ll be me.

 

 

It wasn’t like he considered their first kiss weird, it was just a surprise even to him..  The day it happened, just seemed so soon and he didn’t think it would happen that quick..  But Ji Young could remember the distinct bolt of electricity that ran through him and urged him to do it whether his mind was telling him to or not.  Junsu didn’t seem to mind at the time either, Ji Young could feel the way his body reacted to it, it had been something he’d wanted for a long time….

 

 

‘You don’t look comfortable.’

 

 

‘I am, I swear.’

 

 

Ji Young held a smile on his face as Junsu’s lips twitched with an amused smile, his hand gripping at Ji Young’s as he leaned closer, the other slightly leaning away.  Junsu’s mouth formed a frown and he leaned back to sit on the couch both of them were occupying.  Today was one of the many days Junsu had allowed Ji Young to follow him to his dorm, it was both awkward and interesting, many of the other members running through out the dorm, but mostly the two were left alone in a silence that Ji Young couldn’t seem to fill, nor could he stop the anxious nervous feels he got when Junsu inched just a little closer, his head laying on his shoulder, both of them tensing up on contact.  Maybe he just wasn’t use to the fact that him and Junsu were no longer considered best friends, but something a bit more closer?  Junsu didn’t like his reaction at all, the grip that had rested their two hands together slipping away and Junsu’s warmth disappearing instantly, he couldn’t help but feel a little empty now as he sighed mentally, why was he making this whole situation awkward for?  This was not what he considered ‘trying’ for this whole relationship thing.  Ji Young inched himself closer this time, his hand enclosing around Junsu’s, the other obviously trying to tug it away, but Ji Young held tightly, his other hand tugging the man’s head down so that it laid on his shoulder.  Junsu didn’t seem to struggle after that, but a loud sigh escaped his lips.  Ji Young’s head hung.

 

 

‘You know I’m trying right?’

 

 

Ji Young spoke carefully, biting his lower lip as he slouched down onto the couch, doing his best to get comfortable with Junsu laying on his shoulder.  Junsu nodded his head up and down.

 

 

‘I know, I’m trying not to get so frustrated too..’

 

 

Junsu spoke quietly, his face hiding away in the crook of his neck, his hand gripping Ji Young’s hand tightly.

 

 

‘My emotions have just been running wild since what you told me back at the café..  I’m unsure if this will really work, or if our friendship would last if we..

 

 

Junsu was silenced, Ji Young’s hand covering his mouth, Ji Young didn’t like when Junsu spoke this way, that painful expression he knew the other male held hidden away, he had to reassure what was happening wasn’t going to effect anything.  But, how?

 

 

‘Do you have your own room?’

 

 

He asked slowly, Junsu shaking his head back and forth, but he perked up.

 

 

‘Taecyeon’s out with Jay though, do you wanna go in my room?’

 

 

Junsu asked, his head lifting from the crook of his neck, though his facial expressions well hidden, Ji Young could tell he was hiding some sort of hurt feelings behind them.  Ji Young smiled softly and nodded his head up and down, a simple yes, Junsu giving an audible okay before standing up, leading Ji Young out of the living room and into the first door on the left.  The room was a little crowded..  But surprisingly tidy, the older man maneuvering his way over to the bunk beds, he looked up when Junsu pointed to the top bunk, his face lowering when Ji Young chuckled.

 

 

‘I agreed to the top bunk if I got most of the room~’

 

 

Junsu grinned, this time naturally, to naturally and that old gummy smile he missed from years ago hit Ji Young hard, his body feeling a jolt that froze him on the spot.  Junsu didn’t seem to notice though as he turned his head slightly, his body turning around about to climb up the ladder, but a quick hand stopped him even before a foot could be lifted, Junsu being jerked backwards and turned around, his eyes wide when Ji Young anchored him into place.  Ji Young honestly didn’t know what came over him, other than maybe that smile that looked more beautiful than he could remember.. Junsu’s surprised expression was the last thing he saw before he unconsciously leaned forward, no careful movements about it, no hesitation, just one swift movement that put his lips against Junsu’s, the feeling soft, warm against his own.

 

 

 

Junsu’s lovely smile brightened his gloomy face the moment the door to the practice room opened and the older man, who sat upon the floor with Taeyang, greeted him cheerfully, a hand rising out of anticipation, waving  towards his best friend who trudged painfully slow over to them.  His body flopped lazily to the floor as his mouth opened wide and a loud yawn filled the room.

 

 

‘Someone didn’t get enough sleep last night.’

 

 

Taeyang teased, elbowing his hyung who made a face, but managed to elbow him back before adjusting his sitting position to where he was comfortable, his head turning towards Junsu who smiled on contact.  He couldn’t understand why he was smiling so much today, but Ji Young allowed his own smile to spread across his face.

 

 

‘Hyung’ you’re so happy today?  Any particular reason?’

 

 

Ji Young asked, his body leaning back against his arms, legs stretched out in front of him.  Junsu’s head nodded up and down quickly, he was so hyper to, Ji Young and Taeyang chuckled at the same time as Junsu opened his mouth to speak.

 

 

‘I finished a song I was writing, and I really like it, cause I’m gonna give it to someone special once it’s revised!’

 

 

Ji Young perked up a little at this as he tilted his head.

 

 

‘Really?  Cause I just finished a song I was writing last night too, thus why I’m so freaking tired, it was an all nighter… But sadly I’m not going to give it to anyone.’

 

 

Ji Young spoke with a frown, this time Junsu chuckling.

 

 

‘You don’t have to give it to someone just because I am, I’m only doing it cause I want to~’

 

 

Junsu replied, Taeyang seeming curious now as he moved in closer, his body leaning towards Junsu as though he was about to tell a secret.

 

 

‘Do we get to know who it’s for?  Since we are you’re best friends?’

 

 

Taeyang asked, Junsu holding back another chuckle, his head shaking back and forth.

 

 

‘Nope, can’t have you guys babbling it to everyone.’

 

 

‘How mean…’

 

 

Taeyang’s bottom lip poked out, a pouting noise coming from the back of his throat, Junsu punching him instantly in the shoulder.  Ji Young grinned happily towards his friends.

 

 

‘Okay then Junsu,’

 

Ji Young Began, his own body moving closer.

 

 

‘Do we at least get to know the name of this mysterious song?’

 

 

‘Oh, sure..  It’s called Butterfly.’

 

 

‘Did you ju..’

 

 

Ji Young’s hand covered Junsu’s mouth quickly, his forehead resting against the older man’s, Junsu’s breathing a little distorted, Ji Young did not mean for the kiss to last THAT long.  Ji Young’s eyes met Junsu’s the moment he decided to look up from his feet, Junsu’s eyes gleaming with a spark, he knew he liked how that felt, Junsu hand already wrapped his arms around Ji Young’s waist and closed the small space between them.

 

 

‘I was surprised you actually did that..  Didn’t think we’d get to that stage so soon.’

 

 

Junsu teased, a blush spraying across Ji Young’s face as he looked back down, it was already bad enough he felt embarrassed that he just randomly did it without asking, but now Junsu was making fun of him for it?  It felt a little messed up, but Junsu didn’t seem to care about those thoughts as his arms rose from around his waist, hands cupping his face.

 

 

‘Ji Young, It’s alright you know that right?  That’s how relationships are supposed to work.’

 

 

Junsu grinned, Ji Young’s face being lifted up, but his face instantly shot back down.

 

 

‘I-It’s your smile..’

 

 

Ji Young blurted, not bothering to look up at Junsu’s reaction..  It took him a minute to respond anyways.

 

 

‘Ew, you mean my ugly gummy smile?’

 

 

Junsu asked, his face sour looking when Ji Young lifted his head in surprise, his eye brows furrowed in response.

 

‘You’re gummy smile is beautiful?’ 

 

Ji Young stated, catching his hyung off guard, a startled look crossing Junsu’s face now, this time a blush was all over his face as he looked away, his eyes darting every where.

 

 

‘D-Don’t lie, so many people already call me the ugly one because of my ugly chin and smile..’

 

 

Junsu mumbled, Ji Young’s eye brows furrowing even further as his gripped Junsu’s waist.

 

 

‘You’re not ugly in any form or way, don’t let stupid fans tell you other wise.  Do you hear me Kim Junsu.  I’ll tell you  that everyday if I hear that coming from your mouth again.’

 

 

Ji Young scolded, his voice stern, Junsu wincing, but refused to look his way, his mouth forming a thin line, he looked like he was thinking before he turned back towards Ji Young.

 

 

‘You know, you are one of the only people to tell me that.  Thank you..’

 

 

Junsu spoke, a smile spreading across his face as he backed away from Ji Young, both hands taking the others, pulling him towards the bunk beds.

 

 

‘Let’s take a nap now, all this embarrassment is wearing me out..’

 

 

‘Would you ever get plastic surgery?’

 

 

Ji Young asked, Junsu sprawled on his bed, eyes closed, he might have been asleep but Ji Young asked anyways.  His hyung twitched, but never opened his eyes while he spoke.

 

 

‘Does getting my teeth fixed count?’

 

 

Junsu asked, Ji Young frowned instantly, getting his teeth fixed?  Last he checked that didn’t count, but in all honesty he wasn’t sure about that or the fact why Junsu wanted to get his teeth fixed in the first place.

 

 

‘No, but what’s wrong with your teeth?’

 

 

Ji Young asked now, rolling to where he lye next to Junsu, looking up to the same old ceiling of his dorm that he always looked at, Junsu’s eyes opened and was doing this same now, his shoulders shrugging up and down.

 

 

‘I don’t like my gummy smile..  When I smile it makes my face look longer..  And not so handsome.’

 

 

Junsu admitted, Ji Young sitting up slowly, his legs crossing, hands resting on  them as he looked down at him.

 

 

‘What if I told you, you looked fine and I don’t think getting your teeth fixed would be a good idea?’

 

 

Ji Young locked eyes with Junsu, a long moment of silence gaining between them.  Junsu frowned before looked away first, back towards the ceiling.

 

 

‘I don’t know actually..  I really don’t know.’