i sat there on the edge of the bathtub, tears running down my face, i poured the rubbing alchohol on a washcloth and pressed it against my face and mouth. i inhaled the substance, and i felt the burning in my throat, my head started throbbing, i WANTed to get high off inhalence.. i threw the washcloth at the floor and went to go look for something sharp. i locked the bathroom door and blasted music on my phone so no one would hear me, i couldnt find anything good enough to cut myself, i found an earring hanging from my jewlrey box.. i grabbed it and started violently dragging the hook across my wrist, i could see blood spur from the throbbing around it, i cried as i sat in the corner asking myself.. "why do i keep doing this to nyself?!" .. i had drifted off to sleep and woke up laying on the bathroom floor , my arms and legs curled up to my chest. i knew i had been crying because when i looked in the mirror my eyes were red and puffy. i rinsed off the dry blood on my wrist and off the floor and decided to take a hot bath. i lied there, soaking in the soothing tempurature, and i remembered why i did all of it in the first place.. i remember i was sitting on a recliner staring out the window, and suddenly my mon screamed my name.. "JiYeon!!" she yelled furiously. i shoved my phone in my pocket and ran to the room reluctantly. "yes mom?" i asked walking in slowly. "you worthless child!! i asked you SPECIFICALLY how i wanted the room to be cleaned!!" she yelled as she walked to me and toghtly gripped my chin shaking my head as she yelled "do you think i talk jusy for you to jear?!" i didnt answer.. she threw me to the ground as i was crying. she took my phone. i lied on the floor curled up in a ball crying until she had fallen asleep, i grabbed my phone and ran to the bathroom.. "thats how i end up now.." i muttered to myself.. i got out of the bath and walked out.. everyone was sleeping.. it was 2 in the morning.. so i lied down and went to sleep on the couch..