The days at the company were filled with new light. Suddenly, waking up to twelve hours of training didn't seem miserable. Every time he was present in front of me, I could not breathe, I could not think. My training slacked but I couldn't wake up from this fantasy, nor did I want to. All I wanted was to be around him a little longer, to know him more.

The girls in our company couldn’t get enough of him, especially Avril. I couldn't help but feel threatened, for they way he looked at them was different from the way he looked at me. I was beginning to lose myself.

“Big news!” Screams Avril the babo, running in after dance practice.

“GAH! I don't want to hear your big news!"  I said almost lividly. "I'm not in the mood!”

Avril stared at me for a while. “Why do you hate me? I haven't done anything to you!" she yelled at me, her eyes filled with tears. "You're always like this! Even more since Se.. since he's arrived!” 

Bewildered, I didn't know how to react. I just stood there coldly, staring at this fragile girl. She begged for me to finally befriend her, I felt it in her stare, but something about that girl just made my stomach turn.

“You don't even care that I care about you! I have some big news! Jinjja! Sometimes... I really can't stand you!”

“Why? Because I don't put you in the centre of my world? Why would I? You're a backstabber! Remember Ji hyeon? Remember what you did to her? I will never trust you again! We all know how you became a trainee here! How could someone like you train at AMOR, HOW!?”

“You're too cruel.” She stormed out of the room before entering once more “ OH! Your little Sehun, guess who he was with this morning in the practice room? Guess who he kissed? Molla? Go ask Reina!”

Her words struck me. Suddenly my airways began to tighten and I couldn't breathe. It has only been 2 weeks! This couldn't happen. He still doesn't pay much attention to anyone. Maldo andwae! I refused to believe it!

“YA! We need to talk!” I told Reina sternly.

“Is there a problem? What happened?”

“ We have a serious problem! URI!” I emphasised the 'We'

“What is it? Avril? Don't worry about her! She admires you too much to hate you! Really.”

“NO.” I paused “You kissed Sehun?! How could you?!”

“What? Oh that, no its just-”

“Geuman. So you did kiss him?”

“Yes, but it's not at all how it seems. I jus-”

“Look! I know you're cute and pretty and all, but must you yourself around?”

“YA! What the heck are you talking about? Don't you know he's starring in a drama soon? I'm the stand-in for the lead. Don't you remember?”

“What...?” Confused and enraged, my heart began to pound against my chest while the temples of my head throbbed.

She sighed a deep sigh before she began, “ 'The Quirky Couple', do you remember I auditioned for a part? I was cast as an understudy for Park Shin Hye, the lead boy just happens to be our Sehun. He needed someone to practice the kiss scene for the first episode since filming starts next week. Shin Hye seonbae is busy, so he asked me, since I'm the understudy” She rolled her eyes. “It's not a big deal, just calm down!”

“I'm sorry..”

“No, this has to stop, why are you acting like this? Anything that has to do with Hun seonbae, you freak out! If you don't see him, you freak out! If you see him, you freak out! Do you like him!?” This was the first time she ever spoke to me like this.

“No. I don't like him. He's a playboy. You. I'm afraid. Avril. AHH, MOLLA!” I couldn't speak.

“You're like my sister! Why do you keep things to yourself? Avril... she's a gossip, just ignore her! I will tell you from now on, anything that happens with Sehun seonbae! Okay!?” She hugged me tightly, her actions made me almost shed tears. Why was I becoming this person?

I promised myself I would be better, no more dreaming about this boy. Who was he to me? No one. My friendship with Rei was too precious to destroy. Debut first, then dating, I had to stick to this, or else I wouldn't prove my parents wrong, they wished for me to fail.

I trained late at night and early in the mornings, I had to ensure my debut was certain. I felt good. The thought of him no longer strayed me, it fuelled me to do better. I heard he liked people who were determined, maybe finally he would notice me.

"Look who we have here!” The harmonious voice made my heart skip. Shivers ran down my spine. I lost my footing.

“Ya! Be careful!” The person picked me up, I turned my head to meet the familiar caramel eyes.

“S-seonbae..” I stuttered.

“Annyeong!” A playful smile crossed his face.

“Why are you here?”

“To practice, of course! My debut is soon! Aren't you jealous?” Still smiling, he walked over to the CD player. “Everyone's right you know... You are the best dancer, you have an indescribable energy, I love that about you.”

My eyes widened as he spoke, my heart began to pound “What?!”

“ Oh, don't get me wrong” He chuckled. “ I love to see passionate people, I find it alluring, I wish I could have flair like you while dancing!”

A wide smile crossed my face. “ But seonbae, you do! Plus, you're singing is very beautiful. I wish I had ten percent of your talent.”

“Don't flatter me, I hate that. Tell me honestly, am I good enough?” he sighed. “I have so many things going on, I barely have time to breathe! I'm so tired!”

Deep sympathy filled me. “OH NO, really Seonbae! You're more than good enough! Trust me. Himnae! Only a few more months until you debut, please show them who you really are!”

He began to walk over to me, my knees began to shake, the floor began to fall under me. He place his hands on my shoulders and bent down for eyes to meet perfectly.

“Gomaweo!” The same playful smile as he thanked me. “ I don't know why you never talk to me, Reina always speaks highly of you!” He walked back to retrieve his bag.

“Do you like her? Reina?” There was a moment of silence, a wave of regret filled me.

He laughed slightly before speaking “ Can I be honest?”  I prayed he wouldn't say what I thought he would.

“Please don't be honest.” I spoke without thinking.

He began to laugh deeply. “Ahahahaha! Wow, you're really funny!” He looked at me with a sweet, amused look, like a innocent child. “Okay then.”

“NO! I was joking! You can always be honest with me” Though I didn't want to hear it, it was the chance I was waiting for, to finally make him mine.

“Okay,” he hesitated before speaking again. “Well, I really like her, she's a very pure person. At first she was more like a sister but now...” He paused with a painful look crossing his face. “I'm not so sure, she's different, I can't even speak, I'm sorry.”

“So you like her?”

“Maybe. I don't have time for girls, but Rei... I think I would be willing to make time. DON'T TELL HER!” Suddenly yelling.

“I won't.” My heart sank deep in my chest, my smile faded and he noticed.

“But maybe I'm crazy? I mean you, even you, right now, I feel like I'm falling.” He giggled playfully. “I'm not a playboy, really! I told you passion is very attractive. Your energy, my dongsaeng, is very beautiful. With it, you will make it far, I promise you!” He giggled again. “Ahh.. at this rate, I'll never debut, too much energy around me!” He winked before placing the CD into the CD player.

I bowed quickly and ran out of the studio. Even I was making him fall, my energy? Geugo mwoya? I begged to God to let this pass. I could feel it again, I was loosing myself.