Now Playing: Meghan Trainor - Like I'm Gonna Lose You (feat. John Legend)

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“Tae…”

I stirr up from my sleep, but I am still drowsy.

“Taetae…”

I blink my eyes repeatedly trying to chase away the sleepiness I have. I no longer count how many hours I sleep in a day.

“Baby, I am sorry I need to wake you up.”

My eyes spring open and I sit up from my position.

“Hi.” She says with a smile on her face. The smile which has been my strength for years. The smile that is so bright which always lights up my gloomy days. The smile that doesn’t belong here, in this place.

“Hi.” I smile along, replying her with my hoarse voice.

“I need to go to the washroom.” She says with apologetic tone.

I stand up from the couch I’ve been sleeping on, and I walk to her bed. I pushed down the siderail of the bed so she can walk down from the bed. She sits up carefully, and I help by holding her hands.

“I can ask nurse to provide you bedpan.” I told her as I see her struggling to stand up.

“I am okay, Taetae.” The smile still presents on her pale face.

I nod and smile. But it hurts. It hurts to see her this weak. She used to be the most high-spirited person I’ve ever met.

She finally manages to stand up. I immediately take the IV stand with one hand and lead the way to the washroom. She takes slow steps as if she just learns to walk. It hurts. She used to be the one who forces me to do morning run with her.

I open the washroom door and help her to position her on the toilet. She mouth me a thank you, still with the a smile on her face. An apologetic one this time. I can only answer with a smile. That’s the least that I can do.

After she’s done doing her business, which she no longer shy to do in front of me, I help her to clean up and lead her way to get out from the washroom.

“I am sorry, Taetae…” She weakly says.

I shake my head and smile at her. “I love you.”

She chuckles at my reply. “You, silly.”

We reach the bed and she positions herself on the bed again. I pull up the siderail, just to be safe.

“You didn’t reply to my I love you.” I protest with a playful pout on my face.

“You know I do, silly.”

I shake my head, disagreeing what she’s saying. “I want to hear that.”

“I love you, Taetae.” Her eyes turn into two beautiful crescents. “I love you so much.” She continues.

My heart melts. I lean forward and land a kiss on her forehead. I can hear her chuckle.

“What?” I ask as I pull away.

“PDA much, are you?” She asks in between her chuckles.

I laugh softly. She is still able to joke despite her condition. She is so strong. She’s always been strong.

“Do you mind?”

“I love it.” Her hand grabs mine and she pulls it only to kiss the back of my hand. “Do you want to sleep next to me tonight?”

She’s so weird sometimes. This hospital bed is not big enough for the two of us. But she loves to have me sleep next to her.

“You want me to squeeze myself in that tiny space between you and the siderail?”

She laughs at my question. “You’re small. You’ll be able to squeeze in.”

“Yah!” 

She laughs harder at my protest.

“What? You’re my small baby.”

I fake a sigh. “I am your baby, but I am not small.”

She smiles as a reply and scoots over, trying to give more space for me. But then she sighss, noticing the space she gives is where the IV attaches to her hand, so she scoots to the other side.

“Come here.” She pats the free space she prepares for me.

I walk around the bed and push the siderail down before climbing to the bed and position myself next to her.

“Are you comfortable?”

She shakes her head as her hand searches for mine. She grabs my hand and pulls it to wrap around her waist. 

“Now it’s comfortable.”

I can hear the smile from her reply.

“Fany…”

She turns her head to me, a smile is still drawn on her face, making a smile appears on my face.

“Can I kiss you?” The question I didn’t need to ask in the past. But with her condition right now, I just want to be sure that she feels well enough to receive anything from me.

She nods and closes her eyes. I take a moment to appreciate the sight in front of me. She’s beautiful. She’s pale, she’s way skinnier than before, she covers her head with a beanie to hide the baldness from the treatment. But she’s beautiful nonetheless. I lean forward and plant a soft kiss on her lips. It is just a peck and I pull away.

She chuckles, still with her eyes closed. “What kind of kiss was that?”

“The soft kind.” I answer with a chuckle.

“Kiss me properly, would you.” She opens her eyes and sees through my eyes. “I am fine, Taetae. I am not as fragile as I look.”

I nod and lean forward again. She closes her eyes in the process and my lips capture hers