“When?” Seungwan asked in a calm manner although tears were slowly filling her eyes. It was a quiet Saturday evening by the sea on the Daecheon beach.

“Mom said as soon as possible,” Joohyun said. “Two months from now I guess...”

Seungwan didn’t say anything. Joohyun also didn’t want to add anything. Joohyun knew, whichever path she was going to take after she informed Seungwan about her arranged marriage would not be easy. 

The trigger for this was when her grandmother got mad at her parents after she found out that Joohyun didn’t have any boyfriend yet spent almost all of her time with a friend from highschool. As much as open-minded her parents were, they were the type who obeyed the elders. So they went through a thorough search to find an eligible bachelor for Joohyun.

Seungwan took a deep breath. Her eyes looked straight at the sea. “This is the end for us then?”

Joohyun hugged Seungwan’s arm. “You won’t fight for us?”

“Do you even fight for us, Joohyun? Do you dare to say no to your family and continue our relationship? What do you want me to do?”

Joohyun couldn’t answer any of Seungwan’s questions and let her tears fall on Seungwan’s shoulder. As much as Seungwan hated the situation, she never had the heart to see the love of her life cry. She embraced Joohyun slowly and she also let her own tears fall slowly. The two women shared a moment that could’ve been their last accompanied by the chill sound of the waves. Wondering why the universe didn’t want to conspire in their love.

“Should I come?” Seungwan told Seulgi about Joohyun’s marriage the day after their trip to Daecheon.

“Are you sure?” Seulgi asked, patting her best friend's hand. “I think you should really take some time to consider. Who else knows about this?”

“I don’t know… I guess Sooyoung?”

“Are there any ways to prevent the marriage or something?” Seulgi asked. “Does Joohyun unnie even love the man?”

“It’s a family matter, Seulgi. Doesn’t matter whether she likes him or not.” Seungwan said. “To be frank with you, I think this is the realistic ending to what we had for the last 5 years.”

“Why are you being pessimistic?”

“I’m not. Just being realistic and pragmatic.” Seungwan replied.

Seulgi scratched her head. She was well-aware of how messed up the situation that her two best friends were having. She took her time to stitch the right words before responding to Seungwan.

“Sorry Seungwan, but I can’t offer any solutions or even any possible advice to you.” Seulgi said. “Say… the marriage eventually happens. What are you going to do?”

“I think I’m going to try my luck abroad.” Seungwan said. “Permanently. Starting anew. Only the universe knows whether I find another love of my life or not. Or perhaps I’ll just enjoy the solitude. I don’t know… Joohyun’s parents have been very nice to us. They’re like my own parents. In short, definitely can’t stay here.”

“Why don’t you try to talk it out with her parents?”

“I’m afraid, Seul. I might—“

“I would rather regret trying than not regret trying. If you don’t at least try to talk with Joohyun’s parents, I think I don’t know you very well, Seungwan.”

Seungwan contemplated her conversation with Seulgi. Seulgi’s right, it would be really painful if she just succumbed to the fact without attempting to do anything to change it. She called Joohyun and told that she would like to visit her parents.

“Are you sure, babe?”

“Positive. I’m ready for any outcome.”

Silence could be heard from the other end of the phone. Sobs could be heard. “Seungwan, I don’t know. I don’t even know whether what I'm doing is right or not.”

Seungwan bit her lower lip. Took a deep breath. “Let’s talk it out tomorrow.”

On the next day, Joohyun and her parents agreed to meet Seungwan. As much as Seungwan would like to have the conversation in “neutral” places like restaurants, she couldn’t disagree when Joohyun’s mother said to meet at 7 PM at Joohyun’s family apartment.

When Seungwan arrived, she was greeted by Joohyun’s mother. “So glad to meet you again, Seungwan. Thanks for coming.” The two shared a hug. Joohyun’s father, despite having a tough appearance, greeted Seungwan with a warm smile that at least helped Seungwan’s heart beat slow down. Joohyun’s mother told Seungwan to be seated on the four seated-dining table and called for Joohyun. Seungwan tried to calm herself down by trying to make conversations with Joohyun’s father. They were talking about career prospects as she just graduated from university just like Joohyun. Seungwan loved talking with Joohyun’s father. He was like her second dad. Whenever she got time to talk and discuss with Joohyun’s father about anything, from national politics to films, she would gladly listen to his thoughts and share hers.

Joohyun arrived at the table and seated beside Seungwan. The two didn’t greet at each other as warm as how Joohyun’s parents did to Seungwan. They just shared sly smiles. Acknowledging the ambience changed, Joohyun’s mother offered everyone dinner and each of them took their respective portions. They continued to eat, mostly in silence. After every of them finished eating, it was Joohyun’s father who initiated the conversation. “I assume the ultimate reason for you to come here is to talk about Joohyun’s marriage. Isn’t it, Seungwan?”

“It is, Uncle Bae.”

Joohyun’s parents exchanged looks at each other. Joohyun’s father exhaled, “As much as we love you, Seungwan. We cannot change anything about the marriage. We’re very sorry.”

Seungwan gulped. She was well aware that the marriage had been arranged and would definitely proceed. She decided to keep silent. Trying her best to curate the words that were coming out from . She tried to keep a soft smile on her face. She put her right hand on her lap to stop it trembling. Just after she did that, she felt a sudden warmth. Another hand patting and holding her right hand. She couldn’t help but to look at Joohyun’s face, the face that she had always loved. Her real first love. Maybe it’s true that first love will always remain first love. But first love wouldn’t always mean last love. Despite everything that was filling Seungwan’s mind, looking at Joohyun’s smile made her gain additional courage.

“Uncle and Auntie Bae… Thank you. I understand the situation.” Seungwan took a deep breath. “I just want to say, although you know this already, as always, I love Joohyun. We have been together since our highschool years and I couldn’t be more thankful to meet accepting and lovely people like both of you, who have been raising Joohyun to be the great woman she is now. I know our situation is very complex.”

Seungwan closed her eyes. She was thinking hard. Contemplating with any possible outcomes that might come before she continued, “We’re both women. That’s for sure. Nothing could change that. I know it would be tricky to continue our relationship. Especially, here, in this country. From my side, I would like to go on with my relationship with Joohyun. However, it’s all up to Joohyun. I will go with everything she wants.”

Joohyun tells the story in detail to Yerim. She suddenly stops, realizing that even after years this part of her past is still lingering deep in her heart no matter how hard she tries. From the dinner conversation with her parents to the moment when Seungwan showed up to her wedding day while looking amazing and charming as always. 

When Seungwan gave her the sweetest smile as Joohyun walked to the altar, Joohyun acknowledges that she emotionally cheated on her husband during the wedding day but she just couldn’t help being distracted with Seungwan’s presence that day. She can feel her chest clenched.

“Mom, are you okay?”

Joohyun nods slowly but it’s apparent that tears are filling her eyes. She wants to continue but it’s hard for her to blurt out words.

“Unnie, you don’t have to continue…”

“It’s been 12 years and I cannot even tell the story to my own kid?”

“Please wait, mom.” Yerim goes to the kitchen, takes a glass of water, and offers it to Joohyun.

Smile formed on Joohyun's face. She sips the water. “Thank you, baby.”

Yerim nods as a response. She realizes how her mother really had something so special and precious.

“I’m sorry Yerim. But can you please continue reading or do anything in your room? I want to have a talk with auntie Sooyoung.”

“Definitely mom.”

“I promise I’ll tell you everything. But maybe not now…”

Yerim kisses Joohyun’s cheek and hugs her. “Take your time mommy.”