It is Yerim’s second week sleeping beside her mother after her father left their home. When she wakes up, she finds her mother’s gone as usual… to the kitchen. Cooking her breakfast. 

 

“Morning sweetheart… Wash your face first before you eat.”

 

Yerim rubs her eyes and nods slowly. Her mother continues to hum as she cooks. Yerim wonders why her mother never looks terribly sad. She even seems happier after the divorce is finalized. Yerim’s well aware that her father is a busy businessman. Whenever he goes to work and arrives home, Yerim is already asleep. He took long trips abroad since she was a baby. She believes she never saw their parents kissed. Maybe she has, but it was in rare occasions. She is never close with her father but she never feels left out. It is always her mother who showers her with love while also working as a full-time work-from-home translator.

When her mother told Yerim that they wouldn't live together with her father and even explained the divorce process, Yerim didn’t feel anything. Not sad, not happy, nothing. As long as she's with her mother, she's going to be fine.

 

---

“I’m sorry this happened to you, sweetie. You don’t deserve this.”

 

“Why did you say that, mom? I mean dad’s never here. He didn't even go with us to Japan.”

 

Her mother was shocked with the response. “What do you mean?”

 

“What’s the difference with dad not living here?”

 

“Oh dear… Are you okay?” Her mother looked so worried.

 

“I’m fine, mom.” Yerim answered. “Are you fine though?”

 

“I am…” Her mother wiped a little bit of her tears. Phew… To be honest with you, I’ve never felt this relieved aside from spending time with you.”

 

“Please don’t be sad, mom.” Yerim said. “I’m going to be sad if you’re sad.”

 

Her mother's tears ran harder and she put Yerim into an embrace. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

 

“I’m so lucky to have you too, mommy.”

 

It was perhaps the only and last time Yerim saw her mother cry after the separation with her father. She might not have felt anything at first, but when she looked at her mother’s face she couldn’t help feeling sad too.

 

---

 

She finishes washing her face to shoo her sleepiness away. Then, she goes straight to the kitchen.

 

“You don’t have any violin class, right?”

 

Yerim nods.

 

“Mind helping me clean the house?”

 

“I love you mom, but I want to enjoy my holiday.” Yerim says, eating her breakfast.

 

“Geez… I don’t think I have a lazy girl.”

 

“Mom! How’s it wrong to have a little bit of me-time and rest a bit. It’s not every day I have a free Saturday afternoon.” Yerim pouts.

 

Yerim’s mother laughs. “Just kidding. Of course you’re free to do anything today. You deserve a rest.”

 

“Thank you, mommy. You’re the best.” Yerim reaches her mother and kisses her cheek.

 

“Have you brushed your teeth?”

 

“Yeah…” Yerim grins. “After finishing my breakfast.”

 

“KIM YERIM!!!”

 

---

 

Usually, whenever it’s 9 AM on Saturday, Yerim would rush to take breakfast and warm herself up for the violin class. But today, she’s absorbing her favorite book like she has her own world.

 

“Kim Yerim!!! Come here.”

 

“MOM! I’m reading.”

 

“Come here. Quick.” Yerim approaches her mother who’s looking at old albums.

 

“Look at you… You’re so tiny back then.” Her mother smiles, pointing at her baby photo. She indeed looks so cute, fragile, and very innocent. “So cute.”

 

“I’m always cute, mom.”

 

“Oh well… You have my blood.” They both laugh. Her mother continues to flip the pages of the photo albums.

From Yerim’s baby photos, Yerim’s first singing contest when she was 5, to Yerim’s first day at school—every moments are printed and put neatly in the photo albums. Yerim also looks at the other photo albums. She looks at her mom’s graduation photos, work trips abroad, and even there’s an album when they had a holiday together—the three of them with her father, it was a long time ago—to Bali.

When she wants to look at the unopened albums in front of her mother, she can’t help but feel quite curious when her mother displays a soft expression on her face while she’s looking at one particular album. The album’s got a blue velvet color, contrasted with others which mainly are brown or black.

 

“Mom…” Not a single movement. Her mother looks even more intently on the photos. “MOM!”

 

“Uh y—yes, Yerim?” Her mother closes the album.

 

“What album is that?”

 

“Oh this… Nothing. Just old photos of friends.” She puts the album in a separate place from the other albums.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah… Why would I lie about it?”

 

“You’re right.” Yerim’s not convinced with her mother.

 

“After looking at these, go clean the albums and put them all on the shelves.” Her mother gets up and even takes the blue velvet album with her to the bedroom. “I gotta poo.”

 

“Alright…” Yerim sighs. She’s damn curious about the blue velvet album. Why does it look different? Why does mom look at it very deeply? There must be something. She continues to clean the albums and keep her curiosity to herself.

 

When the last album has been cleaned, she goes to every place in the house to look for the blue velvet album. From her own bedroom—in case her mother thinks out of the box, the kitchen, the living room, the storage room, and the main bathroom, she finds nothing. Gotta be inside mom’s room. When she tries to open it slowly, the door’s locked. What? When she tries to open it again with normal pace, the door handle cannot be moved and she hears the sound of the door getting unlocked. Oh shoot.

 

The door’s opens. “What is it?”

 

“Nothing! I—I just wondered why you took a long time inside.”

 

“Because I just finished taking a poo. It’s not like the poo magically comes out.”

 

“You don’t have to describe it mom…”

 

Her mother laughs. “So… What are you looking for?”

 

“Nothing, really.”

 

“Really?”

 

Yerim looks on the floor. “Really…..”

 

“You sure? One hundred percent sure?” Her mother says with a teasing smile.

 

“Actually…” Yerim cannot let curiosity eat her alive. “No.”

 

“Then what is it?”

 

“Why can't I see the blue velvet album, mom?” 

 

Her mother smiles, “Figured. It’s nothing really. Just some old photos of friends.”

 

“If it’s just some old photos of friends, then why can’t I see it?”

 

Her mother sighs. She doesn’t answer Yerim directly like she’s thinking of something. “You’re right.” She walks inside and she’s back with the blue velvet album. “Here.”

 

That easy? “Did you put out all the secrets from the album and give it to me?”

 

“Wha— of course, no.” Her mother says. “Take it or I’m taking it back.”

 

“Okay. Okay, mom.” Yerim takes the album and goes to sit on the sofa. She can feel that her mother looks at her with a worrying face. Like her mother’s afraid of her finding something from the album. When she turns to look at her mother, her mother looks away and closes her—used to be their—bedroom door. Shady.

 

Yerim takes a deep breath. She’s ready to find anything about her mother there. Be it y photos of her mom kissing strangers, she’s ready.

Yerim opens the album slowly and it shows two photos of seemingly her mother’s old friends from high school. Each is an individual photo, both of them smile directly to the camera, wearing highschool outfits, with the background of a tennis court—they were in the same tennis club as her mother. Her mom loves tennis so much that she still plays tennis regularly at least once a week.

 

She turns the page again and it shows four photos of four people—her mother, the same two friends from the first page, and another friend—at karaoke, at school, another one at school but blurry, and of course at a tennis court. She turns the page and all of them are just photos of her mother and her three highschool friends taken by analog camera.

 

Maybe mom was just feeling nostalgic.

 

“Are you done?” Yerim can feel a pair of hands on her shoulders.

 

“Mom, you scared me!”

 

Her mother laughs. “So? Not curious anymore?”

 

“No…” Yerim says. “Are they your highschool friends?”

 

“They are.” Her mother sits beside her and opens the album again. “Well… You’ve met the two of them.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Aunt Seulgi and aunt Sooyoung.”

 

“Really?” Yerim takes the album and looks at the photos again to look at the resemblance. “Oh yeah, you’re right mom! They look so young.”

 

Yerim’s mother maintains a good relationship with Seulgi and Sooyoung. The two were juniors when she was already in 12th grade.

 

“Our faces are still the same actually. Added with some wrinkles here and there,” Her mother giggles. “Can I take the album now?”

 

“Yeah…” Yerim says, giving the album.

 

“Good girl.” Her mother takes the album and kisses Yerim’s head. Something’s fishy.

Yerim thinks that her mother wouldn’t give the blue velvet album that easily after being so hideous in the first place. There must be something else. “Don’t forget to take a shower. Auntie Sooyoung’s coming here.”

 

“Okay mom,” Yerim says. She will definitely ask Auntie Sooyoung about the blue velvet album.

 

---

 

The bell rings. Coming, Yerim’s mother opens the door.

 

“Joohyun unnie!”

 

“Ah Sooyoungie…” They both share a hug. “It’s been awhile, don't you think?”

 

“Yes indeed. Where’s your kid?”

 

“Auntie Sooyoungie!” Yerim hugs her mom’s favorite bestie who she considers as a family.

 

“Hi Yerimie!” Sooyoung hugs Yerim back and takes something from her bag. “Want some Royce chocolate? I just got back from Japan.”

 

“Thank you so much auntie!” Yerim says with a cheeky smile. “How do you know I like Royce so much?”

 

“Well, your mother told me that you cried when Royce closed its shops here.” Sooyoung winks at Joohyun. Yerim goes to the sofa to eat it. 

 

“Gee… Thank you Sooyoung.” Joohyun says.

 

“Anytime for my unnie,” Sooyoung replies. “You look very charming today.”

 

“Do you mean I didn’t look charming before?”

 

Sooyoung flicks Joohyun’s head, “You never change!” 

 

Joohyun laughs. “Thank you. You also look very beautiful today… As always.”

 

Sooyoung mutters thanks to Joohyun. The two women walk and continue their conversation in the kitchen. Yerim sees that they are very into their conversation so they won’t notice if Yerim does anything. She decides to go back inside her mother’s room slowly but she stops moving from the sofa after she hears, “What?! Yerim already saw that legendary blue velvet photo album?”

 

“Calm your voice down, she might hear us.” Too late, mom. “By accident.”

 

“By accident how?”

 

“Apparently, she realizes how I take special care of the album.”

 

“You still do?”

 

“Some things just never change, Sooyoung.”

 

Yerim wants to continue listening to the two women’s conversation but her mother lowers her voice even more. She then decides to peek inside her mother’s bedroom. She knows very well that it’s an invasion of privacy—she even never lets her mother peek through her room. Once she half-shouted at her mother for merely touching her diary—but she can’t help it. What is so special about that blue velvet album?!

 

She looks at the table, cabinet, book shelves, under the pillows, even her mother’s usual bags but can’t find it. She continues to look inside her mother’s bathroom and finds none as well. 

 

“Where is it…?”

 

“Looking for this?” Yerim’s heart skips a beat. She turns to look at her mother holding the album and auntie Sooyoung smiling at her.

 

Yerim feels a bit of shame for getting busted. “Sorry mom…”

 

“What for?”

 

“Sorry for invading your privacy.”

 

Joohyun laughs, “Apology accepted. I forgot, how old are you now?”

 

“Mom! How could you forget my age?”

 

“Of course I’m just kidding. You just turned 12 aren’t you, dear?” Yerim nods and pouts. “Well, I think it’s time for me to tell you. Right, auntie Sooyoung?”

 

Sooyoung bursts into laughter, “I also can’t wait to hear your story.” Joohyun glares at her. 

 

The three of them go to the sofa to look at the album again. Yerim tries to find any other things that her mother probably hides.

 

“Don’t you realize that you haven’t met one out of four people here?” Joohyun asks.

 

Of course! Why haven’t I realized that? “Is this the one you mean?” Yerim points at a short-haired figure with a tennis outfit with the highschool crest and a pair of glasses. 

 

“Yes.” Joohyun smiles.

 

“Who is she?”

 

“Try to part each of the pages.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Have you tried?”

 

Yerim is now confused. She tries to look at any sides of the pages to get what her mother means. When she tries to flip a page, she realizes that the page she’s holding looks like it’s parting. She opens the thick carton page slowly and is mesmerized by how new photos and some handwritings appear. Photos of the sporty short-haired girl with her mother and letters.

 

“Um… Can I read this mom?”

 

“Sure. But do it alone because I cannot face the fact that my own kid’s reading it.” Joohyun says. “Sooyoung, would you help me in the kitchen?”

 

“With pleasure.”

 

Joohyun kisses Yerim’s head and stands up. Followed by Sooyoung who mouths see you to Yerim and pats Joohyun’s back as they walk.

 

Yerim is feeling both nervous and excited. In no time, she will get to know more of her mother’s past life and secrets.

 

The two photos show how her mother was in the sporty girl’s embrace with a beaming smile. They look older. Possibly taken during college. The sporty girl’s eyes look at her mother with a look that Yerim sees a lot in romantic films, full of love, with deep endearment.

 

Yerim shifts her eyes to the handwritten letter.

 

Dear Joohyun…

 

Whatever our paths might be, I’m always grateful for the years we shared together since we met in the first year of highschool.

 

I still remember how timid you were on the first day of class.

 

Who thought that the most timid student would be the prima donna in all of the school?

 

And I am glad to have you as my prima donna. Happy 18th.

You know I’ll always wish you all the best, right?

 

Son Seungwan

 

Yerim turns to part the other page. It shows a single photo, filling the entire left page, of her mother in high school uniform smiling to the camera with a park as the background.

 

Dear Bae,

 

I think the first time I realized the moment I love you not as friends, or rather fall in love with you was when we took this photo.

 

You looked so radiant that day. With that loving smile of yours.

 

Happy 1st anniversary.

 

Son Seungwan

 

Just as Yerim wants to open the rest of the pages, she’s also having a lot of questions.. First, was her mother once dating a woman? Second, she never told Yerim about this. Third, who and where is this Son Seungwan?

 

“Have you done looking at it, Yerimie?” It’s Sooyoung coming and sits beside Yerim.

 

“I have a lot of questions, auntie.”

 

“Of course you do.”

 

“Where’s mom?”

 

“Still back there.” Sooyoung says, her face pointing at the kitchen. “I see that you have read some letters from our dear Seungwannie, no?”

 

Yerim nods. “Was she mom’s girlfriend?”

 

Sooyoung doesn’t answer directly as if she’s trying to take some time before blurting the truth, “She was.”

 

“Mom looks so happy there. Especially with this Auntie Son Seungwan.”

 

Sooyoung smiles, not replying with words. She thinks it’s best if Yerim’s own mother is the one who answers such personal questions.

 

“I do…” Yerim hears a sound coming from behind. “But things just happened, Yerim.”

 

Yerim turns and looks at her mother’s face. Joohyun puts a smile that indicates a mixture of both happiness and sadness.

 

---

 

Author's note: Thanks for reading everyone! Any feedbacks are greatly appreciated xoxo