PART ONE: CHANCE MEETINGS

 

 

 

[Now Playing: Upuan by Ben and Ben]

 

 

 

“Idiot. How can you write about love when you haven’t even experienced it?” natatawang sabi ng bestfriend mo habang tinawanan mo lamang siya at patuloy na tinitigan ang papel na hawak mo habang nag-iisip ka ng idea sa isusulat mong bagong story dahil hindi na ata sapat ang simpleng poems na pinopost mo sa isang writing blog online.

 

 

 

“Hindi ba pwedeng imaginary lang? Tumigil ka nga diyan, Wends. Wala akong time na makipagsapalaran sa love na yan.” Natatawa mong sabi, at inilingan ka na lamang niya habang pinapanood ka niyang mafrustrate habang nakatitig ka lamang sa papel na alam mong hindi masusulatan mag-isa kahit na gaano ka pa tumitig.

 

 

 

“Gaga, nagsasabi lang ako. Hindi naman kita pinipilit, ang feeling mo diyan.” Natatawang sabi niya habang kinuha niya ang baso ng pangatlong kape na ininom mo na for the past six hours, desperately trying to keep yourself dahil ayaw mo na nagkacram; gusto mo nang matapos ang lahat ng ito at makapagpahinga ng matagal, dahil kahit dati pa naman ay passion mo na ang magsulat ng kahit anong fiction.

 

 

 

Pero mahina ka sa love; sa usapang love, it’s either what you write is too far from the reality you have, too far from the story you want to appear on paper, or you can’t write anything at all. You simply just don’t have experience for those types of things, dahil no boyfriend since birth ka; literally, for the men who had come and gone upon your life were all stuck in the same phase; flings, mutual understandings, at sa tagal mong sumagot sa panliligaw nila ay nagsawa na lamang sila sa’yo.

 

 

 

“Why don’t you go on dates?” tanong ng bestie mong kanina pa siguro nafufrustrate sa’yo at sa kakatitig mo sa papel na hindi mo rin naman susulatan even an hour later, and you lean back as you drop the pencil upon the table, staring back at her who seems to be full of very outrageous ideas.

 

 

 

“Gago, ayoko sa mga blind date na yan. Tsaka hindi ba sinabi mo naman na wala kang kilalang ibang lalake bukod dun sa mga nireto mo sa akin na hindi mo naman kilala—”

 

 

 

“It’s a girl this time, Irene. Come on, stop acting like I don’t notice how you used to look at the girls nung college pa tayo, and it’s already the 20^th century, kahit 2014 pa lang ngayon.” Natatawang sabi ng best friend mo habang tinaasan mo na lamang siya ng kilay at tinawanan, picking up the pencil again and trying to write something for once.

 

 

 

“Come on, Rene, please? The girl I’m talking about is a friend of Joy, that girl I kept talking about. Pinangako ko sa kanya na maghahanap ako ng kasama mamayang gabi, and it just so happens that you don’t have anything to do tonight.” Sagot ni Wendy habang hinila niya ang swivel chair mo kung saan ka nakaupo palayo ng desk mo, making you whine habang napakapit ka sa sides nito.

 

 

 

“And that thing you’re doing is already tonight? Napaka short naman ng notice na ibibigay mo sa akin, Wendy, ano ba yan.” Natatawa mong sabi habang inakay mo ang sarili mo at ang upuan na inuupuan mo pabalik sa desk mo, but you whined yet again as Wendy grabbed the back part of it, not letting you move any further.

 

 

 

“Come on, Rene. It’s been, like almost a year since you went out for a proper date, and this isn’t even one, think of it as you’re just a plus one sa friendly date namin ni Joy sa bar.” Nakangiting sabi ni Wendy habang sinamaan mo siya ng tingin at natawa na lamang siya sa sama ng tingin mo sa kanya.

 

 

 

“Oh, come on. What friend takes another friend to a bar? I swear, pag hindi ka pa umamin sa babaeng iyon, I’ll kick you out of this shared dorm and I won’t let you come back until kayo na.” frustrated mong sabi habang tumayo ka at mapwersang inagaw ang upuan mo mula sa mga kamay niya, and you chuckle as she sighed behind you and sat down upon your bed, then staring back at you again.

 

 

 

“Just one date, Irene. Kapag nagclick kayo, edi good for you. Kapag hindi, I’ll tell her to disappear off the face of the Earth para hindi ka na magulo, and you can say that you at least tried. Hindi na kita guguluhin na makipagdate after this one, promise.” Nakangiting sabi nito, raising her hands up in surrender as you lean back upon your swivel chair and stare back at her, crossing your arms together habang nag-isip ka kung ano ba ang isasagot mo sa kanya.

 

 

 

“Fine, but just one date, alright? And I better see kahit na konting pag-usad ng relasyon mo with that girl Joy, kasi nafufrustrate na ako sa kakadrama mo diyan kapag hindi ka niya pinapansin or something.” Natatawa mong sabi habang tumayo siya at tumalon talon pa sa tuwa, and you see her trifling through your small array of your clothes immediately.

 

 

 

Ah, this is gonna be a very long night.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

“You said your name was… what? Sorry, it’s a little loud in here.” Natatawa mong sabi habang nakangiti lang yung babaeng kasama nung Joy na parang natitipuhan ng bestfriend mong medyo iniintindi rin kung nag eenjoy ka sa gala niyo ngayong gabi, but you assured her that you’ll be fine, dahil mukha namang mabait itong babaeng ito.

 

 

 

“My name is Lisa Samantha Xavier, close friend ako ni Joy, actually.” Nakangiting sabi ng babae na mukhang bubbly at jolly din pakinggan, but somehow… somehow you have an inkling that her mind is wandering at the moment, na parang hindi ikaw ang focus niya, because you’ve seen those eyes.

 

 

 

You’ve seen them from the other boys na nilandi mo before, those looks na alam mong either may natitipuhan silang iba or may nagugustuhan silang iba, and you know those looks; but somehow you’re glad na hindi ka natitipuhan ng babaeng ito ngayon.

 

 

 

“So… who’s the lucky girl?” tanong mo habang dumating na yung inorder niyong drinks for the night, and she widens her eyes and her lips curl into a smile immediately upon what you had mentioned, and she relaxes upon these bar stools na kinauupuan niyo.

 

 

 

“How did you know…” she trailed off, and you realize you still haven’t given her your name, and so you do, the words Irene Joohyun De Guzman rolling of your lips immediately upon habit, at nanlaki ang mga mata niya nang marinig niya ang pangalan mo, and so you wonder if she knows you, because the last time you remember hindi ka naman ganun kafriendly even before.

 

 

 

“Unbelievable… you’re that famous ice queen Irene, from college! Tandang tanda ko yon, and you’re even friends with that lucky girl you’ve guessed!” tuwang tuwa na sabi niya habang tumaas ang kilay mo at natawa ka sa nickname na hindi mo na narinig simula nung gumraduate ka ng college; that was the nickname the boys of the school had called you, dahil andami mo ding sinungitan at nireject na mga lalake dati.

 

 

 

“I’m friends with your lucky girl? Wait… wag mong sabihin na si Jennie Arevalo yung tinutukoy mo?” natatawa mong sabi, but you notice her freeze up habang nakatitig sa entrance nitong maliit na club na pinuntahan niyo, and you look at the direction where she’s staring so intensely—and there you see her.

 

 

 

With your college best friend Jennie is the most badass woman you had ever seen, complete with the usual leather jacket getup and her hair with green streaks, hindi mo maitatanggi that she’s one of the most beautiful women you had ever seen in your life; and you keep your standards at a high level even, pero parang nakapasok siya agad sa standards mo.

 

 

 

“Who are you staring at… oh, Seulgi? That’s Seulgi Azrael Ford, ang alam ko pinsan yan ni Jennie na parang umaacting na rin as bodyguard niya.” Sagot ni Lisa habang tinungga niya agad yung shot na inorder niya, and you laugh as you see her wince upon the taste while you sip upon the cocktail that you ordered, finding it just right for your taste.

 

 

 

“Hmm… ganito, idare kita, Lisa.” You say, drinking one of the shots that she ordered as you feel liquid courage course through your veins after that shot, at natawa naman siya sa current behavior mo at the moment all the while listening to what you have to say.

 

 

 

“Let’s play cupid to each other tonight. I’ll go talk to that Seulgi, and you talk to Jennie, once and for all.” Natatawang sabi mo habang kinuha mo ang huling shot na inorder niya for the night and drank it without fail, wincing slightly because of the unfamiliar burn upon your throat pero agad din naman iyong nawala, replaced by a warmth spreading upon your body.

 

 

 

“Fine. Just because you feel daring tonight, ice queen.” Natatawang sabi ni Lisa habang sabay na kayong lumapit papunta sa kinaroroonan ng college bestie mong si Jennie at yung tinutukoy nitong si Lisa na Seulgi daw ang pangalan, and there you see her staring at you as if checking you out, and for once you appreciate the attention; or maybe it’s just the booze talking.

 

 

 

“Hey…” you start habang akma mong hinila ng bahagya etong si Seulgi Ford palayo ng pinsan niya, smiling as you watch the ever so confident and bubbly Lisa get so shy in front of the woman she likes, with Jennie chuckling as she moved closer to the woman, at sa kasiyahan mong panoorin sila ay hindi mo na namalayang inakbayan ka na pala ng babaeng katabi mo.

 

 

 

“Hmm… a wingwoman, huh… you’re too beautiful to be a wingwoman, miss.” Sagot nitong Seulgi na katabi mo at the moment at nakaakbay pa rin sa iyo, and you can’t help but let out a small chuckle as you hear those words from her.

 

 

 

“I just helped her shoot her shot, actually.” Natatawang sabi mo habang natawa din naman si Seulgi sa sinabi mo, for she probably doesn’t expect you to be someone who would do something like this.

 

 

 

“I brought Jen here for the same purpose actually; cause I heard from Joy na that girl’s coming here; narinig kong crush ni Jen yang Lisa, so I helped her shoot her shot as well.” Sagot ni Seulgi habang napansin niya atang hinihimas mo ang braso mo dahil parang bigla atang lumakas ang aircon sa parte ng bar na ito, so she took off the leather jacket she was wearing and put it on your shoulders.

 

 

 

“Thanks…” nakangiti mong sabi, and she smiles at you, looking around the whole bar that is in chaos at the moment because of the booze and the music, and you shiver slightly as you feel her breath upon your ear, whispering words to you that make your heart explode in butterflies immediately, and now you’re sure that this is definitely not the booze talking.

 

 

 

“This is too chaotic, even for me. Wanna take a walk outside?”

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

“Unbelievable. You’re that famous writer in the online writing blogs? Really, the author of Broken Promises?” hangang hanga na tanong ni Seulgi sa’yo habang tahimik kayong naglalakad sa isang park na malapit sa club na pinuntahan mo kasama nila Wendy, making sure that you texted your friend na uuwi kang mag-isa ngayon, since hindi mo na rin sila masulyapan kanina habang nasa loob pa kayo ng club.

 

 

 

“Yes, and yes, I am that woman. I don’t typically show my face to people since I get too shy at times… but I guess I’m comfortable saying that to you.” Sagot mo sa kanya habang ngumiti siya ng sobrang laki na parang isang batang nakakita ng candy at ibinigay sa kanya, and you chuckle as she cheers upon the air, moving closer towards you with a smile on her face.

 

 

 

“Ah, but I generally thought that writers just stay in these little dens and write all day.” Sagot niya at natawa ka naman sa sinabi niya, for you know that you would be like that if not for your best friend’s very pushy skills in persuasion na nakumbinsi kang pumunta sa bar na iyon, and the date she got you for the night turns out to be pining for someone else, at tinulungan mo pa siyang makapagdamoves sa babaeng nagugustuhan niya na nandun rin pala.

 

 

 

Well, at least this is still part of the experience, you think, and by that woman and that date Wendy had secured you ay nakilala mo itong babaeng ito na kasama mong maglakad lakad dito sa maliit na park na ito, away from the chaos that is the club, and you feel warm due to her company and her leather jacket that you’re currently wearing.

 

 

 

“So how did you know that you were a writer? I’ve heard stories of the great ice queen Irene Joohyun De Guzman from college galing sa mga rants at kwento sa akin ni Jen, but I think I remember that you wanted to be a lawyer or something?” tanong niya as you two move towards the swings, the woman letting you sit upon the metal swing as you start to swing upon it back and forth.

 

 

 

“Things change, I guess… and I feel like I was forced by my parents to pursue that, which is also the reason why I ran away from home in a very young age.” Natatawang sagot mo habang nakakapit ka sa metal chain na nagcoconnect ng inuupuan mo sa metal bars, and you sigh as you stare up the night sky, finding the sky filled with stars, and you wish you could save this in your mind permanently.

 

 

 

“I always thought you would be a model or a politician, with how you led that modelling event nung college, or because even if you were the vice president of the school, mas madami ka pang nagawa noon.” Sagot nitong si Seulgi, and you chuckle as you stare back at her, finding a smile upon her face habang nakatitig rin siya sa’yo.

 

 

 

“Why, thank you… but I feel like it was only a part that I had to play, since I have that role. What about you, ano na bang ginagawa mo ngayon?” tanong mo sa kanya and she just smiles at that, then points at her hair, as if may clue doon kung ano ba talagang ginagawa niya sa buhay, but all you found were green streaks of highlights upon her otherwise jet black hair, those streaks making her look like a badass, you have to admit.

 

 

 

“I’m a self proclaimed dancer… at least, I think I am.” Natatawang sabi niya habang tumayo siya at nanlaki ang mga mata mo nang bigla siyang sumayaw ng konti, and you could definitely see that she has passion in what she’s doing, and somehow you smile unconsciously as you see her freestyle dancing in front of you like there’s music, like there are thousands watching her, pero ikaw lang naman ang audience niya ngayong gabi.

 

 

 

“Come, dance with me, Irene.” Nakangiting sabi niya habang natawa ka na lang at tumayo, and immediately she pulls you closer to dance this waltz type freestyle swaying or whatever it is that both of you are doing, basta ang alam mo na lang ay ang lapit niyo sa isa’t isa—you can definitely smell the alcohol influencing her, and a thousand butterflies erupt upon the pit of your stomach as she pulls you even more closer, if that’s even possible.

 

 

 

You feel her hands, one on your hand grasping yours tight while the other is resting on your hip, pulling you almost impossibly closer as you let out a small yelp and a chuckle afterward habang nagsayaw kayo sa ilalim ng mga bituin na tanging nanonood sa inyong dalawa ngayon, wala nang iba—and that’s what you think at the moment as you put your head on her shoulder, the swings slowly relaxing into nothing, all that’s left is the two of you embracing.

 

 

 

Ramdam mo ang dalawang kamay niyang niyapos ka ng mahigpit, and you could feel her heart beating so fast in such close proximity; you don’t know if that’s because of the alcohol in both of your systems, of you being so close to her, hindi mo alam pero ang alam mo lang ay mabilis din ang pagtibok ng puso mo at this moment, at alam mong alam niya iyon.

 

 

 

“Why do you feel so familiar, Irene?” she says, close to your ear, sending warmth and another wave of butterflies upon your system habang napangiti ka sa sinabi niya, and you feel her swaying the two of you slightly, and so you reach both of your hands around her waist—hugging her tight, tight as you can manage, making her chuckle and hug you back tighter.

 

 

 

“Why do you feel so familiar, like I’ve hugged you so many times when I’ve only met you once?” tanong niya, at humiwalay ka muna sa pagyakap mo sa kanya at pagyakap niya sa’yo nang marinig mo ang mga salitang iyon, dahil ngayon mo lang siya nakita; why does she tell you that she had already met you once before?

 

 

 

“I met you once, Irene. Hindi mo natatandaan? Sa coffee shop, nung pumasok ako sa loob na basang basa ng ulan, you were the staff there that offered me tissues when all the others were trying to get me out.” Natatawang sabi niya habang nanlaki ang mga mata mo as you remember that certain memory, of that certain girl na basang basa ng ulan at the time, and how you scolded your workmates na pilit siyang pinapaalis habang anlakas pa ng ulan sa labas.

 

 

 

“You’re joking… ang tagal na nun, and you still remembered me?” natatawang sabi mo habang narinig mo siyang tumawa ng marahan, patting your head as she pulled you into a hug again, and you have to agree with what she had said earlier—her warm embrace really feels so familiar.

 

 

 

“Who would forget such a beautiful face and such kind attitude, Irene?” she said, at marahan mo siyang pinalo sa balikat niya, hugging her back tight, and you really feel warmth upon her embrace, as if this is the missing piece that you had been trying to find for a very long time unconsciously; as if she is the missing puzzle piece that had unknowingly clicked inside you, fitting a hole in your heart na hindi mo alam ay meron pala all along.

 

 

 

“Ang bolera mo rin, noh?” natatawa mong sabi, at napangiti lamang siya habang niyakap ka niya uli—she must really love hugs, or your hugs, dahil kahit ikaw ay ayaw mo nang kumalas.

 

 

 

“Ang ganda mo, Irene.” She says, so suddenly without any introduction or any filter, dahilan para mas lalo pang bumilis ang pagtibok ng puso mo, and you know that it’s already beating hard for her, alam mong never ka pang nakaramdam ng ganito sa lahat ng lalaking dumaan at umalis sa buhay mo ng sobrang bilis—but with Seulgi, why does it feel so natural? Na parang ang dali nalang na naging ganito ng nangyari?

 

 

 

Basta ang alam mo masaya ka ngayon; you feel so content with her, with you being in her arms, na para bang kaya mong harapin ang lahat.

 

 

 

“Irene, I—”

 

 

 

“Let’s get to know each other, Seul.” You say, smiling as she chuckles and nods at that, and you feel her kissing your forehead, then holding your hand tight.

 

 

 

“Anything for you, Irene.”