You were going to kill Kihyun.

Once you mustered the strength to actually do more than stare. You knew the man across from you who stood up and held out his hand. You didn’t catch what he was saying, the buzzing in your mind was now too strong to hear anything through.

Terry Lee had been there on the day when Starship had rejected you two years ago. You had watched him marvel you as if you were a fallen star landing right before him as you sang. And then when your vocals had impressed everyone, your charred body had dimmed all the hope and light within his eyes.

It was far too hot to burn like a star without getting hurt in the process.

However, this time, he eyed you as if he had never seen you before. You guessed there was a high turnaround of people that it was too hard to remember a face in a crowd, a voice in a sea of harmonies.

You went to back away, your eyes rounding when a warm hand grabbed yours softly. It wasn’t Kihyun’s. You vaguely knew he was the one pressing against the wall now, trying to embed himself in it. You turned to look at him, his own expression now remorseful. He pressed off from the wall and went to move towards you, and you hoped he would take you out of this nightmare.

You didn’t want to be a star. You didn’t want to crash and burn again.

However, you remembered there was a second member of the group in the room, and that’s who had reached for your hand unexpectantly. Changkyun’s eyes were wide, much as your own, perhaps because he hadn’t realised what he had done. And then his expression smoothed out, a small smile spreading out his lips, his eyes encouraging you.

Too many people in this room had heard you sing.

“What’s this about?” you asked gently, blinking several times to settle your pressing need to throw up or run away.

Hopefully in the reverse order.

“Please don’t hate on your friend here. Kihyun didn’t openly share your recording with me. I didn’t knock when I entered his studio,” Terry stated with a warm smile, and you looked to Kihyun for confirmation.

He couldn’t quite meet your gaze.

“You’re exceptional. You know that?”

“I’m not interested,” you managed to say, watching the way the older man slumped back into his chair. He watched you for a moment, a flicker of recognition moving into his eyes.

Terry turned to Kihyun questioningly and then nodded. “I know you.”

“What?”

“I’ve heard you before, haven’t I? You’re the one who sung the best out of the batch of singers during that audition period.”

You instantly took your hand out of Changkyun’s, unaware it had remained there and tugged at your sleeves to protect yourself.

Terry sighed. “I’m not going to be that cruel, Y/N.”

“I need to go.”

“I want you to sing,” he continued, and you stopped short, staring at the producer. He nodded softly. “You’re too talented to let go a second time.”

“No, thank you.”

“Have you given up on your dreams?” he wondered, and you swallowed back your emotions, the images of your last rejection haunting you.

You had boldly told them all you wanted to be a singer, even if it was the last thing you ever did. As you stared back at the man, you wondered if you could lie right now and it be convincing enough.

Singing was in your blood. The oxygen you breathed in was there for you to breathe it out to melodies. You couldn’t function if you couldn’t sing.

“Y-yes,” you managed, and Terry moved to face the computer, working through several files quickly and pushed a button, a song from the past filling the room. It was your audition recording. How did he manage to bring it back like that?

“I kept it,” Terry answered your panicked thoughts. “Hoping, wishing I could somehow find you again. How I didn’t recognise it was you in Kihyun’s recording baffles me. You’ve improved.”

You scoffed. “You had my personal details on my audition sheet.”

“I’m not privy to that information, Y/N.”

“You know, that isn’t something I plan on repeating.”

“You don’t have to audition again,” Terry announced, nodding firmly. “I will offer you a spot right away.”

“What?”

Changkyun let out a shaky breath beside you. “I’m confused. Y/N, did you not come here willingly after hearing Terry—”

“Y/N, I want your voice to shine. And I’m now in a position to make that happen,” Terry cut in, his gaze unfaltering.

You should have seen it then, the position you would be faced with. But the offer was too great, too precious for you to think about the consequences right then. For a solid moment in your life, you felt as if someone in power had validated your efforts, your talents. Not for how you looked but how you sang.

You stopped resisting and listened.

After Terry was gone, with the promise of setting up a meeting with you the following week, you didn’t move, feeling as if all your energy had been zapped out of you. Your mind reeled, repeating the same words over and over, your first acceptance in this world witnessed by the two men who remained behind with you.

It was silent for a few minutes, and then Changkyun, who had taken to resting against the wall when you had moved forward to talk about the offer, shifted swiftly across to Kihyun and shook his head. “I don’t know why but I feel I need to do this.”

You gasped when Changkyun punched him in the shoulder and then departed quickly, leaving you staring at Kihyun’s unreadable expression.

He finally winced and reached to rub his shoulder. “Ow.”

“I’m glad he did that,” you murmured and then got up, moving over to inspect the injured site. “But are you okay?”

“I want to ask you that.”

“What?”

Kihyun shook his head softly. “I’m sorry, I—”

“Believe too much in me. I know.”

“No, Y/N. I broke your trust. I should have told Terry to get out and not play the song for him. I didn’t realise he knew you or held an idea that it was you. That must have been why he was so adamant about all this.”

“It’s okay,” you whispered, though you were unsure if you felt quite like that.

Things were far from okay right now.

“You don’t hate me?” he breathed out, shaking his head with a groan. “I messed up.”

“Do you think Terry means it?” you asked, tearing your eyes from the ground to look up at Kihyun. He was hesitant to smile, but he nodded immediately. “Really? I could become a singer? Like you.”

“Like me.”

“Really?”

“I told you that you were too talented for a company to pass you up,” he reminded, slowly easing from his worried expression.

Neither of you were taking in the full picture yet. Then again, could either of you have been aware of it?

The following week arrived, and this time when you went to Starship, you had Boah at your side. Kihyun and the rest of Monsta X had headed out on tour around the nation, leaving you in the predicament you were without their support in person.

Kihyun had texted you several times today, however, wishing you well and to let him know after your meeting how it went.

Boah wasn’t as optimistic. “Are you sure about this?”

“Terry rang you, didn’t he?” you reminded, and the woman at your side nodded. “He told you he was offering me a singing position in his new project.”

“It feels too good to be true,” she confessed, eying the building in front of you warily. “I don’t want them hurting you.”

“I’m hurting myself by not trying, though, aren’t I?” you replied, and Boah groaned. You shot her a look. “You were the one trying to get me to sign up for the summer festivals, Boah.”

“Remind me why I do these things,” she grumbled before nodding her head. “Come on. I’m basically your manager. I’ll let you know if I think we should get up and walk away or not.”

“I trust you with my vocal career,” you agreed, smiling up at her.

She was the one who was beaming an hour later, shaking the hands of all the people in the room. “Thank you for giving Y/N this chance to impress you all.”

“She’s going to be a valid member of our Starlet program, believe us,” Terry announced, smiling brightly at you. “Y/N, thank you for coming in today.”

“I’m really going to become a singer?”

“Your voice will be heard on every radio station in three month’s time,” another woman in the meeting, Lena, reminded, and you bit your bottom lip in delirium.

Finally.

Recognition had arrived. You had sung for them during the meeting, the others in the room all stunned into silence. You couldn’t stop replaying the moment over in your head as you walked down the hallway.

“I cannot believe this is happening,” you said softly, humming along to a tune that had been the catalyst to this opportunity.

“I know that tune,” a voice called out, and you turned, Boah gasping at your side. Jeong Sewoon moved into the same space of the hallway and reached into his bag for something. Your eyes bulged when he produced a pen and notebook. “It’s you, right? The girl who covered my song. I heard a rumour you were signing here as a singer.”

“He wants your autograph, Y/N,” Boah mentioned as you stared back at the soloist, and you blinked several times, chuckling awkwardly when Sewoon’s face began to fall.

Grappling the pen and paper, you scribbled your name down and handed it back. “Wait. Can I get yours too?”

Sewoon laughed and repeated what you had just done, ripping the page out of his book and handing it to you. “It’s going to be pretty special having someone as talented as you in this building. Oh, and by the way, thank you for thinking so highly of my song. I’d love the opportunity to sing with you in the future, once you’re idol ready.”

Idol ready.

Were you even processing what was about to happen?

“You should go, Y/N.”

“Really? But concerts aren’t quite my thing, Boah.”

“Concerts are about to be in your future. You should immerse yourself in the atmosphere before your training starts.”

Biting back another smile, you nodded softly. “I’ve always wanted to hear Kihyun sing live.”

“Isn’t it like receiving a private performance whenever you are holed up in that room of yours together?” she teased, and you tried to laugh it off.

“But it’s different. The level of the performance is better in front of a crowd.”

You had only sung in front of a crowd a handful of times. Being a member of the school choir and the annual musicals had been the extent of your on-stage experience. You were in the university musical when your accident occurred, and it had been far too long since you had stepped into an auditorium, let alone up on stage.

But Kihyun wasn’t like you. He had performed for thousands. And if there was someone who you aspired to be like on the stage, it was him. Kihyun could capture the attention of anyone when he started to sing.

“Will you be okay, though?” Boah wondered, suddenly looking you over and sighing. “I know it sometimes hurts if you’re roughly touched.”

“I’m sure people won’t be too pushy,” you murmured, looking at the ticket Boah had handed you. You held it up and smiled. “It has a seat number. I’ll be fine once I’m sitting down.”

“Then you should go and surprise Kihyun.”

You laughed. “I doubt he’ll be able to see me in amongst all his fans.”

Boah shrugged, her smile growing. “I’m not so sure. I bet he can sense you a mile away.”

“Stop it.”

“There’s nothing going on between you two, right?” she suddenly wondered, and you frowned, looking at your vocal coach. She cleared . “I mean, I could see why something might—”

“Oh my gosh, no. He’s far too professional to cross a boundary like that,” you prattled out, laughing lightly.

Boah stared at you for a moment before turning back to her desk. “But are you?”

“We’re friends. And soon to become colleagues. That’s all it’ll ever be.”

You hoped you sounded as convincing as your statement was.