“I’m so sorry for letting you down.”

Kihyun’s eyes clamped shut as soon as he caught your words, trying not to break down at your admission. When Minhyuk had messaged him that he had crossed paths with you after finishing work, he had raced home with Changkyun, pacing the house back and forth that he was sure he had now made a permanent pathway in his wake.

Changkyun was too silent, his brooding gaze fixated on the wall. Kihyun didn’t know how to deal with his own emotions, let alone whatever Changkyun felt, and so he tried his best to focus on what to say when you were finally here.

All he wanted to know was why you had accepted this deal. He had questioned you recently about the vagueness around your debut, and you had deflected the topic then. Before this mess had finally come to fruition, he would have done anything to get you out of it.

He had told you he would put you up on a stage. Not singing behind it.

Holding you as you cried heartily, Kihyun knew then that he would do anything to make sure you never cried again.

“Do you want a drink or some food, Y/N?” Minhyuk asked after reappearing in comfortable clothing, and you lifted your head away from where you had buried it into Kihyun and nodded.

“I’ll help you get some things together,” Changkyun quietly offered, his deep tone surprising Kihyun after being quiet for so long.

Stepping back, Kihyun gently led you over to the couch in the living area, and you sat down, looking so small and tired. Blaming himself for the umpteenth time, Kihyun crouched down in front of you before smiling as best as he could. “I’m just going to get you some tissues. Wait here.”

He returned with the box and held it out before sitting down beside you. “Do you need to cry more?”

“No,” you replied hoarsely, your gaze drifting around the space you were in. “Your house is nice.”

“Where are you living now?”

“Still in my own home, thankfully. Nina lives—”

“I don’t want to hear about her right now,” he cut in, realising how he sounded a moment after. Sighing, he scrubbed a hand down his face. “I can’t deal with the girl who is pretending to be you just yet.”

“She’s not pretending to be me,” you corrected, and Kihyun snapped his gaze to yours. “I’m lending her my voice.”

“Was that the deal from the beginning?” Changkyun asked when both he and Minhyuk stepped in from the kitchen, bringing some snacks and various drinks over.

“No. Boah would have never let me sign that contract if it was worded that way. I stupidly thought I was going to be the one up on stage. Looking back, I was just fooling myself in thinking like that.”

“Hey, we all thought you were,” Minhyuk reminded.

“I’m kind of embarrassed that I fell for this.”

Kihyun’s temper flared. “If I hadn’t of shared that god damn song around like—”

“It’s been done,” Minhyuk cut in, shooting Kihyun a look before smiling gently at you. “Though I am sorry I was so tough on you before.”

“I’m glad you were. I was trying to delay all this, but really, I feel like only you all can understand.”

Changkyun glared at the wall. “I’m done with this ing company ruining lives.”

“My life was ruined six years ago,” you replied and then shrugged. “I knew what Terry expected for this project early on, and still I’ve done it.”

“Why?” You looked at Kihyun then, and he watched as your emotions roiled again. He closed his eyes, trying to calm his own down. “Why did you go through with all of this? If you had come to me, I would have—”

“I wanted the world to hear my voice. At first, I was in denial. When I banged into you, I had suspicions that Nina was going to be the one who stood under the limelight, but I kept hoping there would be something more. She’s really sweet and worked really hard—”

Minhyuk groaned. “You’re both being taken advantage of. This isn’t going to last. One day, one of you will slip up, and then the company will let you take the downfall for all of this. You saw what they did to us, to our teamwork. What will you do then?”

“Be grateful that I still had my voice out there. Even if it wasn’t on my own merits.”

“Really?” Kihyun whispered, shaking his head. “But you’re worth more than this.”

“He’s right,” Changkyun stated, and you tore your gaze from Kihyun’s to look at the youngest.

Now was not the time for his jealousy to flare up, but it did, and Kihyun clasped his head in his hand at how messy all this was. It was stupid to wish for a time machine, but that felt like the only way this could be fixed without hurting you.

“I need to, uh… can I take my top off?” you asked when everyone fell silent, and you flushed when three sets of eyes looked at you questioningly. Looking at Kihyun, you cringed. “This hoodie is irritating my skin because I got emotional. Sounds weird, right? Sometimes the nerves start to play up, and I—this is so dumb to have to explain.”

“Will you be okay?” Kihyun questioned, looking at his friends, who were still somewhat confused. He knew what would be under there waiting, but they didn’t.

Not exactly, anyway.

Reaching for the hem of the hoodie, you eased it over your head, and Kihyun noticed how red some of your skin was compared to usual. He held your gaze for a moment, and you sighed, avoiding telling him why your already fragile skin looked so inflamed.

“Holy ,” Minhyuk breathed, whilst Changkyun’s gaze widened, but he didn’t say anything. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to stare, but… how did you get those marks?”

“I was in a fire,” you mentioned slowly, your gaze unfocused. “So, you see why I won’t ever be up on stage now.”

Despite offering for you to stay longer, you left the dorm after a couple of hours. You didn’t explain your accident any further than you had, though Kihyun spent far too long staring at your arms. Was the stress causing your skin to react like that? Even in a normal setting, you had admitted that every day was a challenge. Knowing on top of that you were dealing with this whole nightmare only plagued his heart further.

There was so much to attempt to fix or improve for you. And he was at a complete loss of how to.

The burdens carried close to Kihyun’s heart as he went through the rest of his week, trying not to let his team down. The overall mood was similar to when Monsta X’s lineup had taken a hit, with everyone solemn and moody. Hyunwoo was doing his best not to allow them to dwell on things during work hours, and Minhyuk and Jooheon had taken on the mood maker roles a little too much for it to seem natural. They were all trying to do their best with the situation they were in, knowing that there wasn’t a whole lot of room to break you free just yet.

But nothing prepared Kihyun for the moment when he met Nina by chance.

“Oh my— it’s an honour to meet you!” she gushed in an energetic, starstruck manner.

Kihyun faced several reactions at once as he stared at the crimson-haired girl. Initially, it was disgust, his skin crawling, knowing that it should have been you that he crossed paths within the MBC building. He even looked to see if you had joined the girl with promotions today, but you were nowhere to be seen. Rage started to grumble up in his chest the more he looked her over, noticing how similar in build she was to the Sistar members that Starship had tried to replicate in trainees.

However, her smile was genuine, and he forced himself to remember Nina was just as much a victim in this scheme as you were. Pity surfaced, and Kihyun inhaled a deep breath, spreading a smile across his face as his hand rose to shake hers. “Starlet, right?”

“Th-that’s me!” she stuttered, her pretty-shaped eyes rounding further in awe. “I’m such a big fan!”

“Is that how you greet each other? Pretending to be professional when you’re both good friends?” a humoured tone interrupted, and Kihyun swivelled to see one of the hosts of a variety show standing behind him eying them both curiously.

Anyone could tell this was a first encounter if they paid attention.

Nina’s eyes flashed with panic, remembering that she was meant to be you. “Ha, well you see uh—”

Knowing that he couldn’t let you be implicated by this, Kihyun grinned brightly at the host. “We promised when we crossed paths that we’d act like senior and rookie artists in a professional setting. Right, Starlet?”

“Yep, that’s right.”

“I’ve always thought you Starship kids were all too close to ignore friendships publicly,” he continued, rubbing at his chin with intrigue.

Slinging an arm around Nina’s shoulders, Kihyun felt her tremble upon contact. “Come on, hyung, we’re trying to promote Starlet in a good light. It’d be no good for her image if we went around like friends do, right?”

“I see your point,” he agreed, easing off the furrow to his brow. “Well, I’m a fan of your beautiful voice, Starlet. My wife listens to your album in the car all the time!”

Nina’s mood wasn’t as bright as before, feeling uncomfortable under the weight of her lies. Kihyun could tell it hurt her to know the compliment wasn’t aimed at her, but your voice behind it all. She nodded softly. “Thank you. I’m honoured.”

With a wave, the host left, and Kihyun’s arm slipped back to his side. “Sorry. We had to sell that.”

“I’m grateful for your quick thinking, Kihyun.”

“Where’s Y/N?” he asked with the pang in his chest growing. He didn’t want to feel this bad for the girl when he still considered she was taking your spot onstage.

“She’s not feeling well.”

“What?”

Nina glanced at him shyly then, rubbing her arms. “Today, I don’t have to sing, so she doesn’t have to follow me around. She’s resting at home.”

“You say that like—”

Nina nodded. “We live together. The company thought it would be best if we assimilate with one another.”

His anger returned as he took in this new information. You couldn’t even escape in the comforts of your own home from this charade.

“Is your manager taking you back to Starship?” he asked, and Nina nodded again.

“I have to practice all night for this week’s performances. You know how it is.”

“Yeah. Well, uh, good luck with that.”

“Kihyun,” she called when he stepped off, and he stopped, glancing back at Nina. She looked down at her feet for a moment before looking up at him more determinedly. “I’m sorry I’ve stolen from your friend. Y/N deserves more.”

“Yes, she does,” he agreed, noticing the hurt embedded in her eyes. “So do you.”

“I can give you our address,” she offered boldly, and Kihyun’s eyes widened. “I can tell you want to check on her.”

He knew he shouldn’t be here. A thousand reasons for why Kihyun should have stuck to returning to work himself had raced through his mind as he pulled the car to a stop outside the apartment complex Nina had texted to him when they exchanged numbers. But it wasn’t enough to compel him to turn around and drive in the right direction. Instead, his legs moved swiftly out of the vehicle and carried him to the door number he required.

Knocking twice, Kihyun looked around before settling his gaze on the barrier in front of him. No one came to open it, and so he knocked more loudly this time, even pressing the buzzer on the door keypad.

It swung open a moment later, and all thoughts of leaving you dispersed. He needed to be here.

But you weren’t so sure. “How the hell… oh my god! Quick, come in before someone followed you here.”

He stepped inside and took off his shoes as you shut the door, stepping back up into the living area of the home with some discomfort.

The room was dimly lit, and in any other situation, Kihyun would have curiously taken in your home with interest. But he was stuck on you.

On how little you wore.

Only in a pair of sleep shorts and a singlet, this was the most skin he had ever seen exposed on your body. He couldn’t help but look you over, overwhelmed by what he saw. You were nervous of his silent examination but didn’t try to shield yourself either. Slowly, he walked around you, noticing the burn scars continued over the left shoulder and down your back. Lowering his gaze, he found more on your thighs, the damaged skin smoothing out just below your knee.

And even though it hurt him to now know the extent of your injuries, he smiled. “You’re beautiful.”

“Don’t make jokes,” you glowered, though your eyes then flashed with gratitude. “I’m a mess.”

“A beautiful mess.”

“Still charming me after all this time,” you whispered, shaking your head. “What are you doing here?”

“Nina told me you were not well. I needed to check on you.”

“Nina told you?” you echoed, blinking several times. “She gave you our address?”

Kihyun nodded. “She really cares about you.”

“It’s like I’ve gained a kid sister out of all of this, even if we’re only a few months apart in age. She’s really sweet.”

“I’m not completely sold on her, but she’s changed my initial thoughts enough,” he confessed, and you gave him an easy smile.

“Hungry? I was about to make some dinner.”

“How? It looks like it hurts you to breathe right now. I’ll cook.”

You ignored his observation, your weary expression breaking out in delight. “I’ll finally get to try your cooking, Kihyun? Wow, this is an opportunity I can’t turn down.”

“Show me to your refrigerator so I can figure what I should make.

Kihyun wanted to see you genuinely happy before anything else tonight.