Winter attempts to break up with Karina

Flashback

It's been bothering me lately. These thoughts, I've never had such thoughts before but I've been entertaining them. I want to end things, I really do. But once I see you, your warm smile, I can't. My mind backs out suddenly and then it's gone.

"Winter? Minjeong?! Hey, hey. Snap out of it." I looked at her eyes staring at me. I've been out of it lately. I'm too occupied with these thoughts and I'm afraid I'll have to go through this again.

"Are you okay, baby?" She touched my cheeks and my forehead, checking if I have a fever or something.

"Yeah. I'm okay. What were you saying again?" I took her hands away from my face and I was about to let go of them but she hold on to me.

"Movie night? Should we go to my place? We already have food there, no need to buy outside. Plus, it's raining and I don't want you to get sick." I stared at our hands. She always do this, the thumb grazing the back of my palm. It has always been calming.

But the thoughts, they want me out of here. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Babe?"

"Karina..." I opened my eyes to her worried face. Just the mention of her name makes her vulnerable and I don't like seeing it.

I looked away and took my hands from hers.

"I've been meaning to tell you this. I couldn't tell you through chat because what kind of person am I to-"

I accidentally looked at her. No, Minjeong. You can't keep doing this to yourself.

"-to tell you that I love you through chat?" Her tears turned into laughter and I melted. I smiled sheepishly.

"For a second there I thought you're breaking up with me. I almost had a heart attack." I laughed along with her, but inside I'm half-regretting, half-relieved for what I did. I was going to say those words but I can't see you cry, I don't want to see you hurt.

***

I woke up from a buzzing phone.

- Hello?
Omg. Did I wake you up? I'm sorry.
- It's okay, baby. Why'd you call so early?
I'm outside your house.
- WHAT?

I sprung up and opened the blinds and there she is with a box of pizza and some iced coffee.

I don't know what to feel about this. The same thoughts visited my mind last night and I just... It's been 3 months since the last time I felt numb. I didn't feel anything but nothing. I'm not even happy when she's around, not that my happiness depends on her but I expected a shift in my mood whenever she's with me. I felt nothing, though. I really want to do it this time. I'm determined.

- Okay, come up.
Alright!

She's so cheerful and energetic today and I'm just going to break that... you, Winter.

I quickly brushed my teeth, washed my face and let myself be showered by kisses. She loves doing that.

"Let's eat?" I told her she can start while I collect my thoughts beside her.

"What are you thinking about?" Just be straightforward and it'll be done in minutes.

"I want to break up with you." She dropped the glass she was holding.

"Is this a prank?"

"No. Karina, I want to break up with y