For whatever reason Baekhyun had pissed off Satan this time, he was awake abruptly, with no reason, and nobody to blame. 

 

The hideous hand-made clock on his room’s wall read six o’clock in the morning, a whole one and half hour earlier than his usual wake-up-and-cry time.

 

Knowing from experience, Baekhyun knew that he shouldn’t go back to sleep. He was never the type to take a short nap — he either slept for ten hours, or he would wake up groggy, angry, full of regrets, and weak in the knees.

 

At least it was Friday, Baekhyun consoled himself. Fridays never really felt like school days; whatever happened today, he wouldn’t have to deal with it until Monday.

 

Lowering his cellphone’s screenlight, Baekhyun quickly typed into the only group chat he was part of. One he and his friends made to copy homeworks, vent about the teachers, share memes, hate life, and gossip freely without being shamed for being boys who gossip.

 

Baekhyun notified everyone about his tragic situation and invited everyone to seize the day by joining him for an early breakfast before school, so they could share some food, enjoy the fresh morning air, and talk .

 

Junmyeon replied right away, apparently already awake to actually seize the day with a morning study session. Weird person.

 

Jongdae swore at him in four languages — the only thing he can do in anything other than his mother language, Korean — but said he would be there. Typical, since he hated being left out.

 

Jongin, the adorable freshman they picked up at the start of the year, sent a crying bear sticker and said he would bring a bunch of pastries his sister made.

 

Kyungsoo, the tsundere bastard of their little group, called Baekhyun just to call him names, because he didn’t trust texts to be delicious and painful enough. Leftover food was promised.

 

Sehun, another adorable freshman their little group picked up at the start of the year, was, apparently, a freak, who was on his way back home from a morning jog . He said he would make smoothies and boiled eggs, along with a healthy salad. Baekhyun immediately blamed Junmyeon for it, as he was the one who kept urging everyone to eat healthy, move more, and function better as a result. 

 

Minseok, who was already in university, sent a cute sticker of a kitten flipping Baekhyun off, and left the group chat. Baekhyun added him back.

 

Since he had some time to kill, Baekhyun took a quick shower, made his bed, cleaned out his backpack off all the trash accumulated throughout the year, drank some water, watered his tiny cactus, and took a nice leisure walk to school.

 

Jongdae was already in their spot — a circle of five benches with a little bush in the middle — lying on his back with one of his legs resting on the other, reading a battered book. He was also wearing his glasses, which Baekhyun had never seen him with since he got his lenses.

 

“Morning, what’s up with the glasses?”

 

“It’s all your fault, you dip,” Jongdae replied politely, without looking away from his book. “I was too sleepy, and I dropped one on the floor and then promptly stepped on it.”

 

Baekhyun sat down on a bench that was furthest one away from Jongdae’s, “Didn't tell your mom, huh?”

 

“Do I wanna die at the sweet age of eighteen? Soon I’ll be able to drink, legally.”

 

Baekhyun yawned, scratching his arm. “You don’t drink,”

 

“Yeah but aren’t I supposed to say like that? A rebellious teen like any others,”

 

“Actually I think teens these days drink less than when our parents were teens,”

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

“Yeah, I think we all just collectively gave up on life and nothing gives us pleasure, not even the act of getting drunk and going to sleep with your head in a stranger’s toilet,”

 

“That sounds disgusting,” Jongdae said, his face all scrunched up. “Drinking culture is so bad,”

 

“So so bad,” Baekhyun agreed, glad to know that Jongdae had forgotten all about his lense.

 

Jongdae was the lazy, carefree, smug genius of the group. The student with the highest score in all of the school, he was turning into something of a legend of their days, much to Baekhyun’s annoyance.

 

He was an excessive reader. He read everything he could get his hands on. Whatever money he had, he bought books with it. Whenever there was even the sniff of free books, Jongdae was there first, trying to take all of it. Fairy tales, murders, mysteries, and wholesome homelife were his favorite things to read. 

 

Baekhyun had befriended Jongdae on the first day of the freshman year, when they had fought over the last cream filled bun in the cafeteria. The bun ended up on the floor, and they were both scolded and kicked out by the fearsome cafeteria ladies.

 

Jongdae was loud, he ignored you to your face, was an avid anime fan, genuinely loved taking care of plants, and didn’t know people were supposed to move during until he accidentally found his older brother’s and watched it, and was left shaken to his very core.

 

Aside from all that and being the favorite of the teachers, Jongdae was widely known as the kid who, for a dare, ate soap and got violently sick.

 

“Look, Junmyeon hyung is coming,” Baekhyun said.

 

Jongdae didn’t look but sighed heavily. “Why did you have to disturb the old man in this early hour?”

 

“Hey! Stop talking about me!” Junmyeon yelled, quickening his pace. “I know you’re talking about me, don’t deny talking about me!”

 

“We’re not denying anything!” Baekhyun yelled back, then said to Jongdae, “Old people don’t sleep much; they get up way earlier than we do, don’t you know that?”

 

Jongdae smiled and flipped a page. “Actually you did the right thing. He should enjoy life, what with the little time he has left,”

 

“How much did you say about me?” Junmyeon collapsed on the bench next to Baekhyun’s. He put down his backpack, which made a startlingly heavy thud sound, and then a sports bag, and a huge lunch bag.

 

“Did you get kicked out or something?” Jongdae finally looked away from his book.

 

Junmyeon shrugged. “Gonna hit the gym with Sehun today, he’s gonna wait until I get out of cram school.”

 

“We talked a lot of about you, we’re always talking about you. You’re gonna have to be specific if you wanna know which we’ve talked about you or not,” Baekhyun peered into Junmyeon’s lunch bag and then immediately zipped it back at the sight of all the greens inside.

 

“Why does that sound so familiar?” Junmyeon said, squinting at Baekhyun suspiciously.

 

“Did you beat cancer just to work yourself to death?” Jongdae said, sitting up to a new position on the bench. “If so, keep Sehun out of it. He’s still young, and, unlike you, hasn’t seen everything the world has to offer yet.”

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun nodded. “Let him live his life — you did."

 

“Oh my GOD,” Junmyeon groaned, rubbing his face with his hands as if exhausted. “Will you guys ever drop the old guy joke?”

 

“No,” Baekhyun said.

 

“Yes,” Jongdae said at the same time. “if you buy me a hundred books from my to-read list.

 

“You have a HUNDRED books on your list?” Baekhyun and Junmyeon shared a horrified look.

 

Jongdae looked up. “ More . I said a hundred books from my list.”

 

“If me and your favorite book was drowning, and if you could save only one of us, who would you save?"

 

Baekhyun made a face. "Even your questions are ancient style. Damn it . His book, of course!"

 

"Nah, of course I'd save hyung," Jongdae said calmly, surprising both Baekhyun and Junmyeon. 

 

"He's a human being, hyung that — despite all his flaws and lame jokes and occasional vicious attempts to end my life — I love and cherish.

 

"No matter how much I love books — and I know you were just joking, hyung — this life is the only real life I'm going to get. It's important that you know as well," Jongdae's voice was low and solemn, leaving no room for uncertainty.

 

Baekhyun saw out of the corner of his eyes Junmyeon starting to tear up, his lips trembling, and he pitied him for not knowing Jongdae well enough to sense the oncoming hit.

 

"Besides," Jongdae's smile was big, and his voice went up to its usual high and horrible pitch. "You're loaded, and I can have you buy me ton of books for saving your life. And your parents. And your grandparents. And your uncles and aunts. And everybody else who loves you! Don’t you have a crap ton of cousins? And if you have kids by then, even better!”

 

Junmyeon got up in a flash and looked around frantically, clearly trying to find something to hit Jongdae with. He picked up his stupidly fancy-looking water bottle, then, seemingly deciding that it was too precious, put it back down.

 

Baekhyun, sniggering, offered Junmyeon his math textbook, thinking he might as well get some use out of it before graduating and ing it off to the recycle bin.

 

He watched them. Junmyeon smacking and cursing Jongdae, who cackled while attempting to save his face from the assault.

 

Junmyeon was a senior like them even though he was a year older. Sometime two years before, they had been fooling around during the summer vacation, having a football match when Junmyeon was running alongside them one moment, laughing and shouting, and then the next one he was on the ground.

 

The cancer was strong, confident, and fueled by Junmyeon’s young body. It ran fast without looking back, forcing him to keep up until he collapsed, and then Junmyeon was dragged. There was no stopping it.

 

They visited him all the time, gave him everything he could want or need. After everything, Baekhyun remembered the feeling of uselessness the most.

 

Everyone had felt useless.

 

So when Junmyeon needed a glass of water, they poured it for him.

 

When the sun shone too bright for his liking, they closed the curtains for him.

 

When he felt chilly, they put his shirt on for him.

 

And then one day, the light was on when Junmyeon woke up and complained about how bright it was. It was hurting his eyes and his head, he said. It was killing him, he said.

 

Baekhyun had gotten up to dim the lights before stopping in the middle of the room. He waited until Junmyeon stopped talking about the light.

 

When it was clear that Baekhyun wasn’t doing anything, Junmyeon asked him what he was doing, not turning the light off.

 

“It’s just light,” Baekhyun had said softly, not meeting Junmyeon’s eyes. Then he cleared his throat and spoke louder. “Just light, hyung. Get up and turn it off if you want to. How badly can it be hurting your eyes? How can it hurt your head, how could it be killing you?”

 

He went and slid the room’s door open. “I’m going to get some coffee,” he announced, and then repeated, “It’s just light.”

 

Walking away without turning back, without waiting by the door to listen to what Junmyeon would do, was the hardest thing Baekhyun had ever had to do until then.

 

When he came back to the room, hands shaking and eyes blurry, Junmyeon’s bed was empty, and the room was dark except for the tiny lamp on the table.

 

Baekhyun had panicked and started shouting for Junmyeon, when the bathroom door opened and he walked out, wiping his face and neck.

 

Junmyeon averted his eyes, then looked back up at him and whispered, “Thank you,”

 

From then on, Junmyeon took the center role in the battle, and fought tooth and nail. 

 

When Junmyeon called one rainy evening, Baekhyun was at home, watching a variety show with his family and eating tangerines. He started to both laugh and cry hysterically, scaring his parents, but then they joined him after he managed to babble out some words.

 

They ordered chicken and cake, his parents allowed Baekhyun a can of beer for the night, and then, later on, when he went to bed, Baekhyun thanked all the gods, ghosts, goblins, magicians, witches and mighty ones that could have ever existed — for exactly what, he wasn’t sure, but he was thankful.