Epilogue
Our Innermost DemonsHere is the original planned ending of the story.
Enjoy ♥
She took a deep breath of the fresh air as she got out of the car.
It had been ten years since she had entered the farm.
Smiling, she looked at the wide, green grass and the horses that grazed there peacefully. Everything was just as beautiful as it had been then.
The sun gave her a warm breeze and made her black hair shine even more.
She remembered the time she was allowed to spend here. It was short, but full of peace and love.
With time, the memories had faded more and more, but she knew that she was the happiest she had ever been here.
And now that she was standing here, all her feelings resurfaced as if they had never been gone.
They had only been asleep to now return in full bloom.
She had to smile when she saw an older man with a cowboy hat on his head. His auburn hair was no longer as vibrant as it had been then, but his aura was still loving and strong as before.
Friendly, he approached and greeted her.
"Good afternoon." He nodded politely and fiddled with his hat.
"Good afternoon." She also greeted him with a smile.
"Would you like to learn to horseback ride?" he asked her eagerly.
He had spent his whole life here looking after the horses. He had aged a little over the last few years, but his nature was still the same.
"Actually, I wanted to visit my old riding instructor." She smiled at him, a little embarrassed.
The man eyed her closely. His eyes grew wide as he recognised her.
"I can't believe it! Naeun?" Beaming with joy, he came closer to her to get a better look at her.
"You've grown up quite a bit. How old are you now?" he asked her enthusiastically.
"I'm eighteen and you haven't changed a bit Jinki." She had to laugh.
"Would you like to come inside maybe? My wife makes the best lemon cake." He pointed his thumb behind him at the house where he had grown up.
Naeun had to laugh a little, Jinki really hadn't changed.
"I'd love to." Naeun followed him excitedly.
Her trembling fingers nestled around her handbag.
She couldn't wait to see Taemin again.
Would he recognise her? What would he say? Would he even want to see her? But she knew that coming here was the right thing to do.
Unable to stand it any longer, she mustered all her courage.
"Is Taemin there too?" she asked hopefully.
Jinki paused briefly at the front door before turning to her. Those few seconds seemed like years to Naeun.
Another ten long years.
"No, no he isn't. He doesn't live here anymore." He explained.
She couldn't quite make it out, but to Naeun it was as if Jinki's smile was laced with melancholy. The excitement in her sagged. She had to laugh a little at herself. Surely it was foolish to assume that Taemin would still be living in his parents' house.
Surely he already had a family, surely he had already forgotten about her and her father.
"He has moved?" she made sure.
Jinki took a deep breath and nodded slowly.
"Yes, a very long time ago."
"Jinki..." but Naeun couldn't complete her sentence.
"Shall we go in first, perhaps?" he asked with an encouraging smile. Naeun nodded weakly. It was rude to barge in like that.
But if Jinki was happy to see her again, maybe Taemin would be too.
Jinki put a steaming cup of tea down for her and took a seat opposite her.
"I know you wanted to visit Taemin, but at least pretend you're happy to see me too." He laughed as he said this.
A blush fell down Naeun's face, her shoulders tensed.
Ashamed, she looked at the cup in front of her.
"Sorry." She said to herself quietly, trying to smile.
She didn't know if she should address it directly, she didn't want to be too forward.
"It's really nice to see you again." She meant it sincerely.
But the reason for her visit had nothing to do with Jinki, as he had already suspected.
"I miss Taemin, but..." Naeun searched for the right words.
"...Dad especially is not well." She explained.
Her heart tightened as she thought of her father.
The last few years had made him age rapidly. At first she thought it was her parents' divorce that her father was so sad about, but she soon realised there was much more to it.
She tried to read Jinki’s eyes to see if he understood what she meant.
Jinki took a deep breath and had to swallow.
"You know what their relationship was?" he asked, confused.
But as he thought about it, he realised that Naeun must surely have noticed.
He knew how much Taemin had taken this little girl from back then into his heart.
Naeun smiled shyly.
"Yes and no." She replied, taking the warm cup in her hand.
"He didn't tell me. But as I grew older I eventually understood." She said with a slight nod of her head.
"Dad is so unhappy without him. I don't know what happened between them then, but I hope the two of them can talk about it and start over."
She was sure that was the right way to go. She could still clearly remember her father's smile whenever they were here. That smile they had both shared, that could survive anything.
Jinki's heart tightened.
"Your parents are no longer together?" he asked quietly.
Naeun shook her head.
"No. Mom broke up with Dad ten years ago. I think because of Taemin, but I don't know for sure."
Jinki's mind raced back to ten years ago.
Taemin had grown desperate and lonely. He slept and ate very little until he couldn't cope anymore in this rotten town and moved away.
Away from the intolerant people here, away from their unaccepting father, away from the memories of Minho.
"Taemin moved away ten years ago." Seriously, he looked at Naeun.
They looked at each other in disbelief as they realised.
Minho looked lovingly at his daughter. She had grown into a young woman by now. He could not have been more proud of her. Naeun had been an eager, cheerful and clever girl since she was little. And she had been able to retain all these qualities, even though he had put her through so much suffering.
Every day he wished he could turn back time. But he had never dared to take the thought any further. What exactly would he have changed? Would he ever have allowed them to go to the horse farm? But what then? He would have only hurt Taemin more if he would've done that.
But he also would have been able to see Naeun so at ease, so free of worries, as she was now.
And he had taken it from her. The dearest thing she had, he had taken from her.
How often had she tearfully begged him to go riding again. He had never been able to forgive himself. Every day he wanted to apologise to Naeun and ask for her forgiveness, but he was afraid of her answer. Afraid of her questions.
How would he explain everything to her? Would she understand? Maybe one day when she would find her one true love, maybe then she would understand.
Naeun wore the same smile on her lips as she did back then. Was that why he had to think of him now? He could remember every feature of his face, his soft skin...Minho had to swallow. He didn't want to think about the past anymore, even though he knew he deserved the pain.
The last ten years had passed like the blink of an eye and yet they had dragged on like miserable morass under his shoes. During the day he could distract himself. He had a lot to do at work and was now a father of two.
But at night he was alone with his thoughts and regrets. In the solitude of darkness, he could no longer hide the emptiness in his heart behind work, his family or alcohol. The gaping wound stood ugly open and there was nothing that could close it. With each day, more dirt penetrated it and infected it more and more.
Every day he lived on and yet remained constantly in the same place. While his ex-wife had married a wonderful man who sincerely loved her, he remained still. While Naeun attended and graduated from secondary school, he remained standing. While his younger daughter was learning her first steps, going to kindergarten and graduating from primary school, he was frozen.
He had remained motionless while Taemin had surely found someone who knew how to close the wounds Minho had inflicted on him. The thought made his days more bearable. It was better that way.
Maybe he could save his children from making the same mistake later.
He tried to focus again on his older daughter in front of him. Today especially, she was beaming more than usual and was visibly excited.
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