Proverbs 6:16-19
Our Innermost DemonsThere are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.
Proverbs 6:16-19
Jinki had not touched his breakfast. His eyes were fixed firmly on his little brother. One thought followed the next in his head. Should he bring it up? Should he wait for Taemin to approach him himself? He felt lost.
He didn't want to force Taemin to talk to him about something he didn't feel ready to discuss. They had both only recently found their way back to each other as brothers. Jinki didn't want to risk their relationship on an assumption. Key had advised him to wait until Taemin brought up the subject himself. After all, he had also come out to Jinki before and opened up.
Jinki would just have to be patient. Jonghyun also needed time to come to terms with the situation. Everyone had a different pace. Jinki was aware that what Key said made sense. However, other people certainly didn't have an affair with a married man, but even of that he wasn't sure. What evidence did he have? A bit of smoke, that was all there was. Maybe Taemin had taken up smoking, maybe it was his way of dealing with it all. Maybe, maybe.
"When did dad say he was coming back?" Jinki looked over the cup of cold coffee at Taemin. Taemin was poised. Sooner or later, questions would arise.
"He didn't say anything specific. He'll just come home when he comes." he answered the question of his elder brother.
A band-aid settled over the lie in his heart. It hurt him to lie to his brother yet again, but the pain was immediately eased. He and Minho remained in the bed of Minho and his wife for a long time. He could still feel Minho's love on his lips. He could still taste his skin on his tongue. He could still feel him inside him.
They had cuddled, laughed, talked. Taemin had memorised it all. He knew the path of the veins on Minho's hand, he could trace them along his. But at some point even the most beautiful dream was over and the sun had awakened all their sleeping ghosts. Reality would always find a way to them and their world. It would always intrude, no matter how tightly he closed the gates.
Minho had driven him home. It had been a quiet ride. As a farewell, Minho had given him a kiss on the back of his hand. The spot was still glowing on his skin.
Jinki nodded in response. He couldn't deny that it hurt him that Taemin was lying to him. Everyone had secrets, he knew that best himself. He had told Taemin about Jessica rather late and his father still didn't know about her. Whether his father would accept Jessica because she was not part of the church congregation made him even more tired than he already was.
He could hardly close one eye last night. At some point, the sun had not been up long, he had heard the front door open and close again.
Quietly, stealthily.
How often would he have to endure that particular noise?
Sooyoung slapped the half-full glass out of his hand.
"Do you know how much you humiliated me?"
Minho sighed as he looked at the broken glass. He would have liked to smoke one. But he didn't want to light a cigarette in front of her, she was pregnant. Before she got home, he had almost used up a new pack. He lit one after the other. The smell of the smoke could make him forget and carry him away back to the night he shared with Taemin.
He knelt down and slowly collected one fragment after the other.
"Do you not even care?" she shouted at him, for she saw no other way to get through to him.
There was a tremor inside Sooyoung, her whole body was shaking. But she quickly realised that she was straining her voice in vain, Minho did not hear her. She clenched her fists.
"Say something! Anything!" Desperately she yelled the words.
She hoped, she pleaded, that Minho would give her a reasonable answer. An answer that didn't show she was meaningless to him.
"Sooyoung." He breathed out her name wearily.
With the broken pieces in his hand, he looked into her reddened face. Her eyes filled with tears. He had spoken her name as if she was a burden, as if she was the one in the wrong.
"I've had a long day. I was tired." he said.
Her shoulders began to twitch up and down as tears streamed down her face.
"Aren't you sorry at all?" Only broken, through her sobs she managed to say the words.
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