He tucked his hair behind his ear, and it was such an innate characteristic of his beauty that no one else could have a more fitting trait. He smiled, looking straight into her eyes while beautiful memories plagued her dreams. Her body was suddenly flooded with emotions, the heat burned her cheeks, and the hopes of love deprived her of air to the point of waking her up. Terrified that someone was literally sitting on her chest to suffocate her, the more and more she tried to breathe, the tighter the chokehold in was. Gyuri opened her eyes, confused to discover that she was blind. She tried opening them, again and again, only to realize her eyes were already open, but everything around her was pitch dark. In an attempt to move, she was suddenly aware that her body felt heavy and sticky, and as if tied down to the bed, it didn't matter how hard she racked to free herself; she just couldn’t. 

Gyuri screamed and cried for help, but all her efforts got stuck in . Light stormed on around her so suddenly that she had to blink the tears off and find herself surrounded by the familiarity of the pastel-colored walls of her room. Her father was first to come running inside to pull her out of bed and hold her, facing the floor to pat her back. The gagging was instant, she coughed and gurgled as her father kept patting her back in an attempt to help her breathe, but it wasn’t working. Her lungs felt frozen, they hurt, unable to get more air, and her line of vision blurred with even more tears. Amid the scorch in the center of her chest, she heard an apology, followed by a hard struck between her shoulder blades, and then it burned her. Whatever was stuck on her lungs burned its way out of her body, and she suddenly had a red blob of flower petals fall from to her hands. She dropped it, disgusted at the pulsing heat emanating from it and the way it fell apart, trickling down through her fingers. With the knot in suddenly gone, she gasped for air. However, as soon as she did, the coughing started again. No matter how much she wanted to stop, Gyuri ended up throwing up more bright red flower petals until the floor around her was soon covered with them.

Never, in her entire life, had Gyuri yelled at her parents. There was no scenario in her head in which she could be angry enough to violate them in such a way, but she wasn't herself then. The surge of unexplainable urgency and desperation that took over her body was stronger than anything she had ever felt before. Just by listening to her father's gags and seeing her mother covering her face was like a fuse that sent her in an almost rage-like frenzy. Gyuri squirmed her way out of her father’s hold, kicking and choking as flower petals made her gurgle and tremble in pain. With a burst of strength she knew was not natural, she practically yelled and pushed her parents out of the room. 

“Go away!” Gyuri cried, shutting her bedroom door on their faces and locking it before collapsing to the floor, “Leave me alone.”

That only made her parents cry harder. Her mother fell into full-blown hysterics, desperately banging the door and her father, as calm as he could, tried to stop her. Gyuri could listen to them on the other side, and consciously ignoring their pleas, managed to make her bawl her eyes out in misery. Eventually, they stopped, and so did the coughing. Her breathing leveled out, but Gyuri had no strength left to move, so she stayed there, spent and defeated. The moment she noticed her pajamas stuck to her skin with a substance that left a red tint smearing everything it touched, caused her to cry even more. The first episode and its symptoms felt mild and like nothing compared to the brutal rush of sweetness that she just went through. Suddenly, the disease felt as grave and as threatening as it came. From the thirst and the disgust palpable on her tongue and skin; to the guilt of her horrible screams against her parents and the terrifying trail of stomach juices and flower petals she left from her bed to the door and the most haunting one, to the echo of her mother, begging her to let her in.

Exhausted, Gyuri couldn’t find the strength to move but realizing that the noises on the other side of the door were practically nonexistent, she stood up even if her legs almost gave out under her weight. Utterly disgusted by the scene in front of her, she was driven by an unknown urge and grabbed the first thing that came to her mind to clean the revolting mess on her bedroom’s floor. Pulling a bedsheet, she cleaned the surface, getting as many flower petals as she could under the fabric. Her stomach churned at the sensation of the soft petals getting stuck to her skin and leaving that sickening red tint behind as if the curse wanted her to see just how powerful and dominant it was. She noticed one petal stuck to her wrist, and as she tried to get rid of it, she’d found a couple more over her arms. Tears fell down her cheeks again as she tried desperately to get every single petal off her skin but when she realized she even had them stuck to her neck, to her chest, and even on her stomach, she couldn't bear it any longer. Staggering her way to the bathroom and stumbling into the shower, Gyuri practically ripped her clothes off and scrubbed every inch of her body, desperate to get rid of the red stains that seemed to be engraved into her flesh. After what felt like forever and until she felt clean again, she came into her room to find what looked like a murder scene. By the time she finished mopping and scrubbing the floor, the sky outside her window wasn't pitch black anymore, and her body screamed at her for rest. She eyed her bed for a moment but falling asleep felt like a trap. She wasn't safe in her dreams anymore, and she focused on something different.

As tired as she was, Gyuri's mind was suddenly reeling. She had an idea and knew people did that particular thing and the simple thought of actually doing it felt like an overly romantic idea. Now that she was considering it, it seemed too dark all of a sudden but she felt compelled to do it. Decided, she sat down by her desk, pulled a memo pad, and ripped off a page. She had made up her mind to do it but by the time she had a pen in her hand, she simply stared at the empty page with her mind suddenly blank. For a moment, and it was so fast but the blank page looked beyond scary. It wasn’t exactly the emptiness of that sheet of paper that mirrored what was inside her, that scared her. She hadn’t realized before but as she looked around her desk, most of the stationary placed around her were all flowered-themed. Chuckling at the irony, she could only agree that the cute flowers printed everywhere were only fitting for her situation but regretted it quite instantly.

After the coughing fit, her body ached. Her chest hurt, and throbbed even by doing something as simple as swallowing. Gyuri could picture her lungs being all bruised up on the inside and had to repeat to herself that focusing on writing down that list might be helpful even if it scared her to death. Letting out a deep breath that made her wince, Gyuri put the pain aside and held the pen tighter between her fingers to force it out of herself. She wrote her bucket list. A shortlist of her biggest dreams, and she couldn't stop her tears because most of those wishes involved Baekhyun in some way. Or at least, she would’ve loved to have him there with her, even if it was to mock. If she ever wanted to do something special, she'd always picture him around. Writing that list down was just the beginning. Gyuri stared at the 10 things she wanted to do before dying and couldn’t wrap her head around the idea of doing them without Baekhyun. It was a soft knock on her door that broke her out of the dreary stupor she had been in and Gyuri felt out of place when she noticed the sunlight drifting brightly into her room, welcoming a new day.

"Pumpkin?" Gyuri heard her father ask behind the door.

"I'm fine." She replied, rubbing the tiredness of her eyes, "Just leave me alone, please."

It broke her heart that with a very disappointed voice, her father complied and left her be. She recognized, however, that it wasn't a good idea for her to be alone at that particular moment. She didn’t even want to think about talking. Sleeping was out of the question and any interaction with her parents felt way too dangerous so Gyuri did the next closest thing to functionality, and that was working; she invested all of her energy into it. With the bucket list figured out, and still feeling numb; Gyuri locked herself in her small office. She had her eyes glued to the screen, busy on countless tasks, typing and clicking almost obsessively and nonstop. She might not have had any plans for the future, but she decided it was enough of all the brooding and started to tie all the loose ends she had left. From that moment on, she worked and worked until the days started to blend together. Except for the occasional trip to the bathroom, she rarely left the room while her mother insisted on knocking every now and then to check on her and leave a tray of food. Too busy and too tired to even reject her mother’s attention and her possible nagging, Gyuri tried to eat everything. It was the day she fell asleep on her chair, and the images of Baekhyun smiling at her snapped her awake, that she decided it was best to leave the house for a while and clear her head. She tried to stand up from the chair, but her body felt stiff. She sat there for a moment, feeling her eyes aching from the lack of sleep, and her hands couldn’t stop trembling; however, she had a mission for that day. She could try to rest after that.

Gyuri got ready to go out, searched for the papers she needed, and printed all the documents she had been working on the last few days. She tried her best to leave the house without her mother noticing but before she could open the door, her mother asked where she was heading. That simple and harmless question got on Gyuri’s nerves. It bothered her to treat her parents so badly, but she needed to be alone. She was too tired to give explanations and to have an answer for everything. Gyuri just wanted to be alone.

"I need to run some errands," She explained shortly and left the house in silence. 

However, the fresh air didn’t sit quite well with her. Irritated even by the humidity in the air, she hesitantly checked her phone. After almost a week of ghosting pretty much everyone she knew, Gyuri got overwhelmed with the number of texts, missed calls, and various notifications that blared at her from the small screen of her phone. Putting the device away, she took a deep breath and started walking, but the prospect alone of moving her legs and going down the street to the bus stop made her muscles ache. The ride was just as torturous as she thought it would be, that even her favorite music annoyed her. Gyuri had to keep reminding herself that there were issues to solve and get sorted out before it was too late. Blinking repeatedly to ease the brief burning behind her eyes, Gyuri braced herself and headed to the main building of the company she worked at to deliver her resignation letter. After that, she stopped by the bank to fix her savings account and leave all of the funds to her mother. Then, she went to the car dealership to leave her car to her father. 

Gyuri chuckled to herself. Years ago, she’d bought a car thinking she could handle the nerves to sit behind the wheel, but she failed. She wasn’t even a bad driver; everyone else was, and that made driving too anxiety-inducing, so she let her parents use it. They didn’t complain about it. After all, that car was basically theirs, so leaving it to them was only logical. Getting all the paperwork ready was fairly simple and the easiest part. Bringing the subject to her parents, Gyuri predicted not so much. She let out a sigh as she stepped out of the car dealership and for a split second, felt like dropping to her knees to cry her eyes out. Running those particular errands happened to be a lot more depressing than she first anticipated. She barely had anything to her name. She didn’t have a legacy to leave behind but a laughable amount of savings and a car that had some annoying technical issues, and that was it.

That was all she had.

Gyuri had to shake the dark thoughts aside if she didn't want to break down in the middle of the street. Maybe she didn’t have anything important to leave to her parents but what she could do was to leave everything ready for them.

“Leave no loose ends.” She said to herself out loud.

Feeling a tiny bit better, she braced herself to go to the last stop and practically, the hardest one of her errands. She felt uncomfortable from the moment she wrote the email to make the appointment days before and even more than dreary when she finally arrived at the entrance of what would be her future funeral home. Gyuri had a couple of options to check, but by the time she came in, it was impossible to not feel lightheaded. The employee was kind, maybe too kind for her liking and all she could do was smile whenever a new feature was shown. When they reached the model bedroom, as if driven by her tiredness, Gyuri propped herself up the bed and laid down. It was comfy. It was nice, firm, and comfy, and Gyuri caught herself almost smiling when she realized she was on the bed where her parents could rest during their mourning if they needed it. Jumping out of the bed as if it was burning, Gyuri thanked the employee and left the place with a handful of pamphlets in her hands, and decided that she wasn’t strong enough to handle the rest of the appointments for the day.

Exhaustion was catching up to her, making her feet heavy and her back so stiff and contracted that Gyuri had a hard time walking to her next destination. She refused to sit down and rest because she knew she wouldn't keep going if she did, so taking a deep breath, she headed to the closest coffee shop to get a double americano with five spoonfuls of sugar, and that left the barista dumbfounded. As she sipped her drink, she texted the only person that would never dare to mock, pity, or wouldn't even burst into tears at the sight of her list. She begged to the heavens for him to not be angry at her for going all M.I.A for almost a week and thankfully, that didn’t seem to be the case because Kyungsoo replied to her text as if he had been waiting to hear from her. Gyuri stared at the screen of her phone and realized his fast reply actually managed to make her smile. He sent his location without even asking why and gulping down the almost blunt coffee, even if it burned , she jumped into the next bus, excited to get to meet him.  

Maybe it was the fresh caffeine running through her system, maybe it was the excitement mixed with the exhaustion; she couldn't tell what it was but Gyuri felt generous. She spent all the bus ride searching for the nicest bakery shop around and once she found it, she spent a good deal of time picking the best assortment of french pastries and cookies. Gyuri almost skipped her way to the meeting point with Kyungsoo when she finally got her bearings, and all the rush and giddiness started to fade away, quite rapidly. She had been too absentminded with the immediate task in hand but now that she knew who he was, the obvious sophistication of the place made sense. Aware of her clothes, her sickly looks, and overall presence in such a fashionable place, Gyuri came to a full stop. She texted Kyungsoo, hoping he wouldn't make her wait that long because the people around her were staring at her. She could feel their eyes on her and her shabby self. Closing her eyes to remind herself that most likely, it was all in her mind and the crowds walking past her weren't even aware of her existence; Gyuri pushed the thought aside to focus on something she could control and that was the reason why she was there in the first place.

Kyungsoo had done so much already that her small gift couldn’t be compared. She centered all of her thoughts on the words she would say to properly convey what she had stuck on her chest since the beginning. However, as polite as he could be, he was taking too long and feeling more out of place than a fish out of the water; she looked around, desperate to find him. Growing more anxious by the second, she finally saw him coming out of a building, and he was smiling. It was such a small and pleasant smile that fit his face. However, that smile seemed to disappear with every step he gave closer to her until his entire expression was grave and concerned. He asked something, but Gyuri was so transfixed by the rosiness of his cheeks and the healthy glow of his skin that she didn’t catch on to him moving closer to touch her. 

"What?" She mumbled under her breath as his fingertips brushed her cheek and the warmth they spread across her skin was so nice and pleasant, she instinctively leaned further into his touch.

“I asked," He asked again, tilting her head up, "When was the last time you slept?”

As if he slapped her back to reality, Gyuri realized she probably looked like death. Utterly embarrassed, she stepped back, rejecting his gentle hands even if her body craved for his touch. The severity of the situation rushed over her, making her think that what she was thinking in doing, was an absolute mistake.

“I can’t,” she muttered, mortified to show herself so weak, “I can’t sleep without choking on flower petals.”

“You should’ve called me.”

Nothing in his voice or his expression felt insincere. If anything, his tone was genuinely worried. However, not shameless enough to hold onto his words, Gyuri distanced herself further from the comfort of his company. By doing so, she saw a figure that felt ominously on guard, and focusing her sight, she recognized the face in an instant. If not everyone, a vast majority of the population in the country could make out those features from a distance. Suddenly, she felt exposed to the big, cat-like eyes, the perfect brows, and sharp expression that could only belong to someone as devastatingly handsome as him. She had seen that face on the covers of many magazines and she had to look twice to confirm that Kim Minseok, the infamous editor, was outside the same building Kyungsoo came out of and looking not at all subtly at her, and with what it looked like genuine interest.

“You’re busy.” She mumbled, blushing under the gaze of that man.

“I’m in a meeting,” Kyungsoo nodded, looking over his shoulder.

Gyuri felt herself burning in mortification, and the sudden realization of her self assortment made her almost sick to her stomach. Kyungsoo was a busy person. Not just that, he was an important person that must be busy all the time and she kept on showing up and interrupting his life as if she had any sort of right to his company when she was still the poor stranger he helped in a restaurant. 

“I’m sorry.” She said, bowing the whole 90 degrees.

“Why?” He mumbled.

His eyebrows furrowed deeper into his expression, and Gyuri couldn’t even think. Where to begin? She had to close her eyes to calm down, take a deep breath and remind herself to stick to her original plan which was to make amends for the things she could control.

“I was a bit of a jerk to you the other night, and I didn’t even apologize.” She explained, feeling her determination not as strong as before, “You made it bearable