Her phone kept buzzing, and at any other moment of her life, she would have been annoyed out of her mind but everything was different. Her phone and her heart felt so alive. Gyuri smiled at the animated emojis on her screen and wondered if Kyungsoo was smiling as well. It had been a week since the trip with him and his friends, who were her friends now. The idea alone was a completely new concept to her. Anna embraced her as an equal, and even if Gyuri wasn't sure if Minseok thought the same, they welcomed her in their group chat which was basically only the two of them mothering Kyungsoo and bickering about the smallest things. She didn't mind. It was amusing to witness and wait for the writer's dull text asking them to shut up for once.

They were planning on spending the weekend somewhere else when the screen went all black, and his name popped up, blinking in an incoming call. For a moment, Gyuri couldn't remember the sound of his voice or what it made her feel, and instantly regretting the excitement, with a hand on her chest, Gyuri answered the call.

"Hello…" Baekhyun said.

Gyuri said the same with the tiniest voice and feared the worst when she heard him sigh on the other side of the line. Although she was happy to hear his voice again, she also noticed the hesitation.

"Yah, Kang Gyuri," he finally snapped, and she almost smiled because she missed that about him, "I didn't want to call because I'm still angry at you, but it's almost my birthday."

All the giddiness and happiness Gyuri felt evaporated into thin air, and her stomach dropped to the floor. Letting out a silent curse, she jumped off the couch where she was watching a drama with her mother, and her entire body moved on its own accord in a burst of dread.

"You forgot!" He gasped over the phone.

"I did not." She lied, running to her room.

"Liar," Baekhyun said as a matter of fact, "You're still in your pajamas."

"How do you know?" She mumbled, in shock, and regretted it instantly.

The frustrating noises he made had her rolling her eyes. She smiled at his whining, looking around her desk for the monthly calendar. She searched every drawer and through every bookcase, but the floral calendar was nowhere to be found.

"You told me," He said after a while and with renewed interest, "No, you forced me to save this day for you."

"I know," Gyuri replied, giving up and collapsing on her bed.

"You said you would take me somewhere." He added, and she nodded even if he couldn't see her, "But you never called again to set the time or anything."

"I know, Baekhyun," Gyuri finally said when the sadness in his tone was impossible to ignore, "We have to be there at four so we can see each other there at..."

"At 1." He interrupted her, "I'll pick you up at 1, and we'll have lunch together. It's on me."

Defeated, Gyuri agreed, he ended the call, and she stayed there, frozen in disbelief that she could have forgotten about her plans. She had an excuse. On one of those bad days, she went on a cleaning rampage, removed all the floral items from her room, and threw away every calendar and journal she owned. Gyuri meant to have everything in the garbage but her mother, just as silent and stoic as she could be, picked everything up and religiously put them away into boxes.

Gyuri went downstairs and opened one of the boxes. The first thing she saw was the floral desk calendar. She flipped through the pages, and just as Baekhyun said, she had the date in a big circle and exclamation marks. He was right on the date.

"Did something happen?" Her mother asked, coming into the room. "Was it Baekhyun?"

Gyuri nodded, showing her the date on the calendar. The realization took over her expression. If her mother wanted to object to her plans, she kept it to herself.

"I completely forgot about it," Gyuri admitted. "How could I forget about something like this?"

"You've got more than enough to deal with lately." Her mother said, "Don't beat yourself over this."

"But I had been waiting for this day for months," Gyuri whined in frustration.

"What will you do?" Her mother wanted to know.

"Should I go?" Gyuri asked instead, knowing quite well that one more wrong move could be her last.

"Only if you feel ready to do so." Her mother finally said, and Gyuri didn't have to look at her to know she was holding her tears.

"But what am I going to do?" She asked, her eyes watering, "I threw the tickets away."

"I picked them up," her mother said, in the most focused tone she had, "and put them in one of these boxes."

"Really?" Gyuri asked, and a tear finally fell down her cheek.

"Don't worry," Her mother said with a proud smile, "If you want to go, we'll find those tickets in no time."

Gyuri couldn't understand why she felt so overwhelmed but ignoring the urge to bawl her eyes out, she followed her mother's instructions. They spent the next hour looking through all the storage boxes until they managed to find the tickets. Gyuri hugged her mother and ran upstairs to get ready.

However, getting ready to hang out with Baekhyun felt like a task Gyuri was not ready to tackle. She had no idea what to wear, not that it mattered because it wasn't a date. Going out with Baekhyun had never been a date, even if she kept dreaming it was. She didn't even like how she looked anymore. She looked off, not terribly sick yet, but she felt icky and disgusting as if Baekhyun's hand would stay stuck on her skin if he ever dared to touch her. Everything about herself just felt off. She kept going in and out of the shower, not feeling entirely clean and almost finishing an entire bottle of body cream. Her mother's nagging about running through a monthly supply of cream in less than a week finally made her stop and realize there was nothing she could do about her skin anymore.

Gyuri got herself ready in her everyday clothing, nothing fancy or special, just plain Gyuri. When she was ready and came down the stairs, she found her father coming into the house with a worried expression that made her halt. Her mother must've called him at work, afraid of their daughter not coming back home alive.

"I forgot about the exhibition." He said, pretending he hadn't rushed home, "At what time are you leaving?"

"He's picking me up at one," Gyuri replied, her eyes watering again.

"Good, we have some time left then." Her father said with a relieved sigh, "Honey, can you bring us some tea?"

Gyuri noticed her mother was crying in a corner, and with a small nod, she disappeared into the kitchen.

"You fought so hard to get those tickets, might as well use them, right?" He asked as he sat on the couch and patted the space next to him.

"Right!" Gyuri said, holding back the tears but still sitting next to her father and hugging him.

"It would be a shame for them to go to a waste." He added, embracing her in a tight hold that made everything inside Gyuri finally feel alright.

Her mother was back with three cups of tea, and before she could sit far from them, Gyuri reached for her hand. She sat next to her, and while holding her mother's hand and resting her head on her father's shoulder, Gyuri spent that time with her parents in silence as they waited for Baekhyun. When he arrived, Gyuri felt at peace. She had no more tears to shed, and still holding her mother's hand, she stood up.

"We'll be waiting for you here, pumpkin." Her father said before pressing a kiss on her forehead, "You know that, right?"

"I'll be back," Gyuri assured them even though she wasn't sure if she would survive to see them again.

Her mother gave her the tightest hug ever, and with a small smile, she finally let her go. Gyuri left the house, smiling at them, hoping it really wasn't the last time she would see them again. However, all that hope faded away when she turned around and saw Baekhyun coming out of his car, looking as handsome as ever, if not maybe even more than before. He was smiling as usual, and his fashion was just as simple as hers, but she had never found him any more attractive.

It was in vain to ignore the awkwardness. Baekhyun tried to hug her just like he usually did whenever it had been a long time since they saw each other, but her startled reaction made him back away, shocked. Gyuri smiled, trying to rub off the weird gesture and the mix of sudden pain and instant relief she felt all over her insides. She got into the car and took a deep breath.

There was just one other person she needed to talk to. She thought it was better to do it face to face at first, but then realized that she couldn't bear to see the pity in his eyes in her last moments. Saying goodbye through a text didn’t seem that much of a bad idea after all. She might not even make it out alive of that car for all she knew, so a text was all she had.

Kyungsoo…

I’m going out with Baekhyun.

And I think you might be right…

Wait

I won’t hold back.

Gyuri

No

Don't

Thank you.

Whatever the writer wanted to say was better to tell her himself because her phone started buzzing. His name appeared on the screen, and the time she hesitated to answer was enough to catch Baekhyun’s attention. He leaned closer to look at her phone as if he was just looking at a random video playing on the screen. Gyuri knew the action was more of a natural reaction, he did that a lot, but the moment he saw the name, he went rigid on the spot. Baekhyun backed away again, pretending he hadn't seen anything compromising.

Embarrassed, Gyuri ignored the call and diverted her attention from Baekhyun. However, the phone started buzzing again, and even though Gyuri would never ignore Kyungsoo, she knew it wasn’t a good idea to explain herself on the phone in her best friend’s presence. Baekhyun stayed quiet as he drove away and when he was about to say something, her phone started buzzing for the third time. Gyuri silenced the device and buried it deep into her purse.

“So this is what it feels like…” Baekhyun mumbled, or at least that was what she thought she heard.

“What you said?” Gyuri asked, still ignoring the buzzing phone.

"Will you finally tell me where we are going?" He asked instead.

Time seemed to stop when Gyuri looked at him with one hand on the steering wheel, looking as boyfriend-is as ever. She noticed that his hair was neatly done and was wearing accessories, and he only did that on special occasions. Gyuri couldn't help herself but smile when she saw the watch she gave him on his birthday many many years ago on his wrist. Suddenly, nothing else mattered when Baekhyun looked like he made a conscious effort on his looks to hang out with her. As if she wasn't at risk of getting engulfed by roots, Gyuri embraced the pleasure filling her chest. She had nothing else to lose anymore, and feeling rather playful, Gyuri refused to answer his question.

"It's a surprise." She said.

"I need to know so I can drive us there, you dummy," Baekhyun whined with a playful pout, making her heart skip a beat.

"Just don't leave the city," Gyuri said, ready to make the best out of that day.

“Alright then," He said, and after a while, he broke the heavy silence between them, "So how are you?”

Gyuri knew it wasn’t a simple pleasantry just by the tone in his voice. He wanted to know for real, and even if he was focused on the road ahead, his eyes were intense and searching for an answer. There was only one thing she could say. 

“Fine.” 

Baekhyun glanced at her, unconvinced by her reply but kept driving in silence. Gyuri realized that enjoying his company wholeheartedly wouldn't be as easy. At least not when she found herself so aware of his attention, of his eyes always looking at her so closely and him just generally gravitating towards her like there was no one else around them. At times, she had to reprimand herself for being so dumb. That had always been their dynamic. He was acting like he always did. Baekhyun had always felt comfortable around her, and he never failed to let her know that, and that was one of the many reasons she fell for him.

Gyuri had learned over the years to love whenever he observed her reaction to the food he ordered for her. She could feel her heart melting at the satisfied smile on his face when she let him know that the food was delicious. She loved that they could talk about nothing and everything and had to remind herself to look away several times. She caught herself admiring him as he attentively listened to everything she was telling him, and one time she had to stop herself from reaching out to touch his round cheeks. She couldn't really help herself but bite her lip when he just kept putting the best pieces of meat in her bowl. She loved his familiarity, the lack of judgment, and pretenses whenever he was with her. He didn't try to be anyone else but himself when they were together. 

Baekhyun was naturally caring, and now more than ever, she wished she could tell him everything. Gyuri tried, more than once, to let the words come out and let him know but failed every time. They came out of the restaurant, and as they settled in the car, Baekhyun looked at her expectantly. Her imagination went wild for a split second. Two different scenarios were playing in her mind. On one she confessed her feelings, and on the second one, which was wilder, she imagined him confessing his feelings, but of course, that wasn't it. He chuckled and prodded the answer out of her.

"Where to now?" He asked.

"Just go to Gwanghwamun." She mumbled, pushing every dumb fantasy aside.

With a smile on his face, Baekhyun started the engine and drove away. However, Gyuri looked out of the window to hide the embarrassment. She was just letting her hopes dominate her every thought when it was all further from the truth. Baekhyun didn't have those sorts of feelings for her. His familiarity wasn't anything other than a friendly inclination, and Gyuri felt stupid for thinking otherwise. She blinked the forming tears away along with all the idiotic feelings that had her reduced to such a lame wreck.

"No way…" Baekhyun mumbled.

It was halfway to their destination that it seemed to down on him. Gyuri could almost see the wheels turning in his head as he put the pieces together and smiled when he looked at her for confirmation, and with that, her sadness was forgotten.

"Are we going to the Museum of Modern Art?" He asked, holding tightly onto the steering wheel, "You're kidding me."

Too satisfied with herself, Gyuri pulled the tickets out of her purse and showed them to him. Baekhyun let out a dramatic gasp, and when they stopped at a red light, he grabbed one of the tickets and admired it with absolute fascination.

"How did you do it?" He asked, "They sold out in seconds."

"Because I'm that good," Gyuri said with a smug smile as she snatched the ticket off his hands, making Baekhyun cackle.

"Damn right you are," He said, fumbling with his phone, “and you know what? This moment deserves our fun song."

For a split second, everything was suddenly alright. Their favorite song blasted through the speakers as Baekhyun drove them through the city, singing out loud and looking at her with the brightest of smiles. Her heart swelled in delight, and it was impossible not to get back in time and remember one of their first interactions. Gyuri recalled the exchange as if it was yesterday. 

It was her first year at college, and although most of her lessons were kind of alright, she hated the shared lectures with other majors. People with different objectives and inclinations enclosed in the same space gave her a headache, and programming 101 was no exception. Her programming skills were already above the curriculum, but she had to take that lecture, and she dreaded the day the professor announced a teamwork assignment.

The entire lecture hall was filled with disgruntled noises and whines, and Gyuri would’ve joined if it wasn’t for her anxiousness. She would have to work with a stranger, and she felt her heart rate speeding. What if she had to work