Dahyun occasionally looked towards the road to the airport. She found it very difficult, to drive her girlfriend back to her home in California. Dahyun has never been a fan of the airport. She thought that the airport was just a place where people welcomed their loved ones, but also a place where they had to let that person go back to drawing the distance between them. She never liked the image of herself having to go back to her own daily life again, of course without having Sana around her. It felt like she had just embraced that figure and having her close. It felt like yesterday. But here she is. Adjusting to the reality that will soon approach her. She knows the fact that she should get used to the absence of Sana, again.

Sana is no better, she just keeps dropping her gaze at their hands now. Never absent to occasionally tighten it while gently rubbing Dahyun's hand with her thumb. She just wasn't ready to be away from her girlfriend again. Only silence would catch them on the way to the airport. It seemed to describe how painful and difficult it was for the two of them to let go of each other because of the distance. The two of them knew, that deep down in their hearts, they just didn't want to be apart. Not now, not ever.

Dahyun led her car towards the parking lot. She pulled on the handbrake of her car,

"We're here." She said softly, she began to turn to her girlfriend who was now also staring back at her. Dahyun could find a sad expression on her Sana's face.

I'm sorry we have to go through this again.

"Sana.." Dahyun raised one hand to reach that face, while Sana closed her eyes. Trying to remember carefully how warm and gentle her girlfriend's touch at this time. Without realizing that the tears had fallen free in both cheeks. Dahyun who saw that felt a pain in her heart that she could not explain. She secretly cursed the distance that soon to be drawn between them.

"Come with me, Dahyun-ah" Said Sana quietly, this time able to make Dahyun's defensive wall collapse again. She could not hold back the tears that had already flooded her eyelids. She would do anything so that they could run and be together somewhere and would never be apart.

"Sana-chan, we will survive the distance."

"I don't know if I can,"

“You will. We will. "

“You know, it hurts to have you away from me, Sana. But it would be much more painful if I didn't have you at all. "

Sana who heard that now sobbed. She wonders heaven, what good things she has done in her previous life to deserve someone like Kim Dahyun.

"I think, I love you Dahyun-ah..."

Dahyun had felt her blood which seemed to stop rustling when she heard Sana's confession. It felt as if time was being frozen for both of them. Like a happy, longing feeling bursting up out of her chest.

"And I love you too, Sana-chan .." She has never been so sure about expressing what she feels for other people. All she knows, she just doesn't want to one day wake up, and find out that Sana is no longer hers.

"Promise that you will never leave me, Dahyun." Said Sana while staring sadly at her lover, Dahyun recognized that gaze, where Sana would feel insecure about this relationship. She pulled Sana's body and hug her,

"I promise." She said, while feeling her lover's two arms hugging her back tightly.

"Even when everything's going to be very difficult?" Sana asked softly, her lover could only smile,

"Yes. Even when things are difficult."

Dahyun let go of her embrace, cupped the face with one hand, sank back into the gaze,

“I can't promise you a perfect relationship, but I promise as long as we keep trying for this relationship, I'm not going anywhere, Sana-chan.”

________

Their relationship started when Sana got bad grades in her Korean class. It was ridiculous considering she is practically a mix of Japanese and Korean. That night she was very upset for being a laughing object by her friends and decided to seek help on a website to get an online tutor from someone who spoke Korean as their native language. This must sound ridiculous, but she can't take it anymore. She is, desperate.

Kim-zaki_Sana: Hi. Is anyone willing to help me in Korean? I got bad grades in class :(

That's what she typed, in the middle of their conversation in that sites’ chat box. She waited for an answer, an answer from anyone, for nearly 10 minutes; just staring at the screen as the message lifts and disappears from the chat box, but they may be too busy to see or even read her little crying for help. Okay, maybe the "cry for help" is too much. She sighed; disappointed that no one bothered to answer her in any way and started thinking maybe it was just a silly idea, to ask a group of strangers online to help her. She was just about to log out of her account and choose to go to sleep when a private message appeared on her laptop screen.

Dahyun_kim28: Hi! I can teach you a little, but I can't guarantee that your grades will be good later kkkk ^^

Their conversation continued on voice calls and video calls. Within two months all Sana's grades in Korean class showed progress. Although, it must be admitted that she would find herself blushing when Dahyun complimented her good grades of pronouncements and written tests. Sana wasn't sure if she was shy because of that or because the Korean looked extremely gorgeous on her laptop screen. Dahyun is really a charming girl with porcelain skin, sharp eyes, and a refreshing smile. Her voice was so soft that Sana was sure that she would fall asleep easily while listening as Dahyun speaks.

Everything felt so fast and Sana was worried about her feelings being so brushed for the girl who was thousands of miles away from her. However, all those worries seemed to just disappear when Dahyun, in the middle of their video call said that she liked her, and that she was also afraid that she's the only one who felt that way. Disappointment scratched Dahyun's face when Sana could only be silent, realizing her stupid action, Sana quickly confessed her feelings directly to the Korean, and she that night practically asked Kim Dahyun to be her girlfriend.

___________

Dahyun💙: Sorry I can't tonight, I have to do my final project. Maybe this weekend we can do video calls. Is it okay?

Sana again could only sigh slowly. She just missed that figure so much that she wanted to die. But all she got in reply was the content of Dahyun's message saying that she couldn't make voice or video calls with different excuses in each of her refusals. Usually she will say that she has to perform her duties or that she is running the extra shift late into the night. It annoyed Sana because she just couldn't do anything, while the longing that always ambushed her heart's space seemed to have choked her. For some point, she tried to understand the situation and condition of her girlfriend there.

She understands that being a student and having a part-time job at the same time is not an easy task. Especially because her lover is a very independent person and doesn't want to trouble her family. It was clear that she would try to finish everything perfectly even though it would drain her energy. It happened several times, where  Sana finally got the chance to make a voice call to Dahyun, her girlfriend just said a few things and then fell asleep while the call was still connected or when Sana found it impossible to wake that figure up and to force her to make a conversation. She just misses Dahyun. And she tried to understand that at that time Dahyun must be very exhausted. Sana did not want to be seen as a lover who did not want to understand Dahyun's situation, though her longing seemed to says otherwise.

That night she fell asleep again while closing her eyes, hugging the pillow tightly without realizing that now tears were flowing freely down both of her cheeks.

________

Sana threw down her pillow and turned around. She sighed and opened her eyes as her hands ran over the bed, trying to reach for her phone. When her fingertips touched the cell phone, she grabbed it and searched for her girlfriend's contact. The bright light from the screen was painfully bright and she squinted, trying to see the time. She sighed again, 3 am. She slipped a finger on her cellphone screen and clicked on the little yellow app box that allows free international calls and SMS. Clicking again on her contact list, her finger hesitated over a name that never once left her mind. "Should I call her?" She pondered. "Or would it be better to send a message?" A moment of hesitation and she decided to call.

To be honest, she was afraid to make this call, but she missed that person so dearly that she felt the need to hear her voice. Sitting on the headboard of her bed, she lifted her knees to her chest and rested her chin on it. With the phone to her ear, she heard ringing as she waited for the call to be picked up. After a few rings, a low 'click' can be heard and she may think she's waiting for a cold or even harsh answer. However her guess was wrong, she was greeted by a gentle, concerned voice.

"Hello? Sana-chan? "Said the voice she has been dying to hear for nearly two weeks. Sana hesitated again, not sure if she really wanted to talk again if it would break her heart. In her hesitation, the person across from the phone call spoke again, “Hello? Hey, it's late there, why are you still up? "

She sighed. “I miss you… I'm sorry,” she said, remembering their last video call about 2 weeks ago. They fought because Sana had such a bad day and Dahyun has been busy lately with something Sana wasn't even sure what it was other than work and study. She felt like Dahyun didn't put in much effort in this relationship like she promised back then. And it's very hard for her to not think that maybe Dahyun doesn't want them to be together anymore. It's been about 5 months since her visit to Seoul last summer, Sana emphasized her own schoolwork while Dahyun didn't talk to her much through voice or video calls which made things worse. She just couldn't hold back her feelings and started to think maybe Dahyun had had enough of herself and thought about ending their relationship.

"You don't need to apologize, Sana. I'm the one who should apologize "

"I miss you too, you know that right." Dahyun added softly,

No, I don't know.

Sana wanted to say it, but she didn't want them to fight anymore. However, she felt a little relieved that Dahyun said that she missed her too but at the same time, she still felt insecure. So she decided to try something. "I love you…" she said.

"Me too," Dahyun replied casually and Sana sighed, feeling her eyes burning and her heart sinking. Dahyun heard a sigh. "Hey what's wrong? Tell me what happened, Sana-chan."Dahyun asked and Sana could hear her worries, but instead of making her feel better, somehow it made her feel worse.

"You never said it back," she said sadly, closing her eyes as she felt something tear the space of her heart.

"What?" Asked Dahyun,

"You never told me that you love me, too."

"What? I  said that to you, San.. "Dahyun said defensively. Sana took a deep breath and replied to her statement, her voice slightly trembling, “No, you haven't since our last meeting, Dahyun-ah. you only say "Me too" but never "I love you too" and it makes me wonder, do you really love me?" Dahyun didn't seem to have anything to say about it and Sana let out another bitter laugh.

She sniffed and wiped away the tears that had started to pour out of her closed eyes. "You're gonna break up with me, aren't you?"

"What ?! No! ”Dahyun exclaimed immediately before softening her voice,

“No, no. I couldn't possibly do that… ”Her quick response made Sana feel a little better. Just a little bit, but still, she felt better.

She heard Dahyun sigh before continuing,

“I feel the same as you. you should know that. It's just… it's not the right time for me to put it that way, again. I don't know how to explain it. Let me finish things here first, okay? You mean a lot to me, Sana...” the last words were spoken shyly and it made Sana smile a little. Sana sighed again, her tears stopped because of Dahyun's words. She wiped the remaining tears from her face, feeling much better. She didn't fully understand but if Dahyun insisted that she felt the same way then Sana would believe that with all of her heart.

"Please don't cry? Forgive me. I'll make up for it after I finish everything okay? I promise."Dahyun said, sounding sincerely apologetic.

“Be patient with me, okay? I will spend more time with you in the future.”She added,

Sana wanted to ask what makes Dahyun really busy apart from studying and working, but she felt that maybe she didn't need to know because it didn't seem important anymore. What's important is that Dahyun felt the same way and they didn't put an to end their relationship.

"Promise?" She asked, embarrassed by how weak and child-like she was at the moment.

Dahyun chuckled. "Yes, I promise. Now please sleep? Um..."she gasped before continuing, "Minatozaki Sana, it's almost 4 am there. Go to sleep. Please now. "

Sana grinned at the fact that even when Dahyun scolded her, she was always so polite and cute, and adorable, and..

Damn, I love her so much, she thought.

"Alright, alright. I am going to sleep now. I love you so much, Dahyunnie..”She said. She felt doubt about Dahyun but she decided to convince her,

"It's okay, you can say it like you always do."

"Um... I do too, very very very very much," Dahyun replied softly, the emphasis clearly meant to convince Sana that she meant it. Sana also knew that she really felt the same way. It wasn't what she said, but it was more of the sincerity in her voice that convinced her more than anything.

"I miss you. Good night… baby. ”Dahyun continued, and Sana could imagine her slightly flushed face.

"I miss you too, Dahyunnie," replied Sana, smiling broadly when she heard Dahyun's laughter.

"Bye, love"

_________

"Come on, this is just your ex, Sana. He won't bite. ”Said Momo in the middle of their conversation about on Sana's ex who recently insisted on asking her out.

"I'm with Dahyun now!" Replied Sana slightly raised her voice, "I love her, guys."

"Are you sure she's there not glancing at others?" Jihyo asked in surprise, making Sana only be able to roll her eyes quickly.

"Besides, you told me that while you were there you had met with her ex too."

"Yes. But they're friends now."

“Still, Sana. They have a history. ”That statement of Jihyo able to make Sana silent. She recalled her memory when she visited Dahyun a few months ago. They did meet the girl, Ji Eun, when they were doing their evening walk around the Han river. Sana remembers very well how Dahyun's face when she saw the girl. Still implied feelings of disappointment and sadness under her gaze while staring at her. That day, she attempted to ask her lover. and Dahyun told her everything about how she and Ji Eun grew apart and can even say that they are no longer friends.

It was all because Dahyun confessed her feelings for the older girl, and it was rejection she ever got. Sana didn't mean to doubt her lover, it's just that with all the things that are going on between her and Dahyun now just making her image of the future with the Korean becoming a little fuzzy.

She just wanted them to be together for as long as possible.

________

Sana found herself staring at the cellphone screen while clenching one fist,

Hey, Sana-chan. I'll call you the day after tomorrow, I'm working on my final project with the others. Take care of yourself, okay? I miss you.

She closed her eyes, sighed violently and threw her cellphone on the bed in random direction.

Is this what you meant that you will spare your time for me, Dahyun-ah?

Sana felt something tightly squeeze her chest, she just missed that figure and she was tired enough to keep asking Dahyun for an explanation about everything.

I just want your time, Dahyun-ah... is that really hard?

She didn't realize that those tears had now wet her cheeks. How in the world she let herself fall too deeply into that figure. The more she thought about it, the more she felt the squeezing pain. While all things were raging in her mind and heart space, Sana got her cellphone ringing, at that time she prayed to heaven hoping that her girlfriend is the one who is calling her. However, that smile disappeared when she read the name on the screen, Mark. Her ex-boyfriend who recently kept calling to just ask her for lunch or go to the cinema together. Sana didn't understand what he meant and what his purposes were, but she felt uncomfortable.

However, not at this time. After a moment of just staring at the screen, she decided to take the call.

"Hey, Sana! come join Roger's party tonight! Pick you up at 7? ”Sana wiped her tears, She doesn't know what was on her mind right now, but she chose to answer in a low voice.

"Okay, 7 it is."

____________________

"Sana?" Dahyun vaguely heard a voice rumbling in the background voice calls.

She didn't get any answer from the person on the other side. The only hearing it got was loud music, too loud. And for a split second she felt a tingling pain in her ear because of it.

“Who's there?” This time she got an answer from a strange voice that was clearly not her girlfriend. This time it was a deep male voice that slightly raised his voice. She was a little surprised by that, but she chose to remain calm.

"Uhm, sorry... is Sana there?"

"Yes. But she's pretty drunk right now. You can't talk to her. "

She didn't say about going out tonight. She didn't even reply to my message.

"Okay. Uhm, who is this? ”This time Dahyun asked cautiously,

“Her Boyfriend.” With that the call closed unilaterally, leaving Dahyun speechless. She couldn't process what had just barged into her eardrums yet. She was so sure of what she had just heard.

After all she just finished a lot of coffee and she was very much awake to hear it wrong.